It turns out “having your life together” means wildly different things depending on when (and how) you grew up.
Every generation grew up with different pressures, opportunities, and definitions of success, and it really shows when you hear what they think “getting it right” looks like. Here’s how different generations often see success in life, and why it makes so much sense when you look a little closer.
1. Boomers often see owning a home as the ultimate sign.
For many baby boomers, buying a house symbolised real success. It wasn’t just about having a roof over your head. It was proof that you were financially responsible, stable, and properly “grown up.” Homeownership was a realistic and expected milestone for them, not a far-off dream like it can feel for younger generations now. That’s why Boomers still associate getting a mortgage with having made it.
2. Gen X tends to link it to career stability.
Gen Xers often grew up with the idea that a steady, respectable job was the backbone of an adult life. Climbing the ladder, getting promoted, and having a long-term employer meant you were doing adulthood right. For this generation, career success, not just passion projects, showed that you were serious, dependable, and self-sufficient. It’s a huge part of why they value loyalty and hard work so highly today.
3. Millennials often equate it with emotional wellness.
After watching older generations burn out, Millennials have shifted their focus. Having your life together doesn’t just mean external success. It means feeling mentally and emotionally okay, too. For many millennials, therapy, healthy relationships, and work-life balance are bigger signs of having it “together” than just a fat pay cheque or a fancy house. Surviving adulthood with your sanity intact counts for a lot.
4. Gen Z sees financial independence as key.
Growing up during economic uncertainty made Gen Z deeply aware of money’s role in freedom. For them, being able to support yourself, even if you’re still renting or gig-working, is a major marker of adult success. It’s less about big flashy milestones and more about not having to rely on anyone else financially. In a world where stability feels rare, even small steps toward independence are worth celebrating.
5. The Silent Generation prized family reputation and community standing.
For the Silent Generation, success wasn’t just personal—it was about how your family was seen by the broader community. Being respected by neighbours and involved in local life was a huge sign you were living right. Marriage, kids, and active community involvement were the markers they looked for. Personal ambition mattered, but not at the expense of family honour or neighbourhood pride.
6. Boomers also associated stability with marriage.
Getting married young—and staying married—was a huge benchmark for boomers. It wasn’t just about romance; it was about proving you were capable of building a respectable, stable adult life. Divorce carried much more stigma back then, so a lasting marriage was often treated as the ultimate “life together” badge. Even today, many boomers measure personal success partly through long-term relationships.
7. Gen X added the importance of personal freedom.
Gen X came of age watching institutions crumble and promises break. In response, they often defined success as having enough autonomy to make their own choices, no matter what society expected. For them, having your life together didn’t always mean hitting traditional milestones. Sometimes it simply meant carving out a life you could live on your own terms, without feeling trapped by outdated expectations.
8. Millennials often factor in passion projects.
Unlike boomers and Gen X, many millennials don’t think a stable career alone means you’ve got it together. Building something meaningful, whether it’s a side hustle, creative outlet, or cause you care about, matters too. Success isn’t just about survival or status anymore; it’s about alignment. Millennials often feel like they haven’t “made it” unless their work connects to their personal values and passions somehow.
9. Gen Z adds mental health and boundaries to the checklist.
For Gen Z, mental health isn’t a luxury, it’s a basic need. Knowing how to set boundaries, protect your peace, and prioritise wellbeing isn’t a bonus; it’s baked into their definition of adulthood. Having your life together, for many Gen Zers, means not just working hard but knowing when to say no, when to rest, and when to advocate for yourself without apology.
10. The Silent Generation valued a clean, simple household.
For many in the Silent Generation, having a tidy, well-kept home—with predictable routines and polished appearances—was a huge part of “making it.” It wasn’t just about possessions; it was about self-respect and social standing. Good housekeeping, orderly habits, and predictable traditions were seen as reflections of character. Messiness or chaos, on the other hand, suggested a life that wasn’t fully under control.
11. Boomers see retirement planning as a huge indicator.
Having your retirement sorted, whether through pensions, savings, or property investments, is a major milestone for boomers. It’s a visible marker that you planned ahead, took care of yourself, and built something sustainable. Because financial institutions felt more stable during their working years, retirement readiness feels like a personal achievement, not just a financial one. It’s one more symbol that you “won” at adulting.
12. Gen X values a well-rounded life over flashy status symbols.
While Gen Xers respect financial success, they often measure “having it together” more by how balanced your life is. Do you have hobbies? Friendships? Time for yourself? That’s what counts more than just a big house or title. They’re less impressed by surface-level status and more by whether someone seems genuinely happy—a lesson shaped by watching corporate burnout and midlife crises unfold all around them.
13. Millennials and Gen Z value authenticity above all.
For younger generations, you don’t have your life together if you’re faking happiness for appearances. Authenticity—being honest about struggles, values, and dreams—matters more than ticking off a checklist of accomplishments. They’d rather see someone living true to themselves, even if it’s messy, than someone living a picture-perfect life that’s secretly miserable. To them, real success means building a life that feels good inside, not just one that looks good outside.
