We all deserve good things in life, but not everyone believes that.
There are plenty of people who feel unworthy of, well, pretty much anything positive. They might not come out and say that directly, but the more you listen to the way they speak, the more obvious it becomes. These are some of the phrases you’ll likely hear from them on a regular basis.
1. “Sorry, I’m probably being annoying.”
This one slips out when someone’s learned to apologise for taking up space. They’re used to being too much for people—or made to feel that way. So they soften every interaction, just in case. It’s not really got anything to do with them being annoying—they’re just scared of rejection. They want to connect, but they’re already bracing for the possibility that their presence is a burden.
2. “I don’t want to be a bother.”
They might say this when asking for help, needing a favour, or just existing in someone else’s plans. It sounds polite, but often it’s coming from a deep belief that their needs are inconvenient. People who feel unworthy tend to shrink themselves in moments where they actually need support. This phrase is a protective layer—one that hides how hard it is to believe they’re allowed to take up care and time.
3. “I’m fine, really.”
This tends to get used when someone absolutely isn’t fine, but doesn’t believe they have the right to fall apart. They’re used to holding it together, often for other people’s comfort. There’s often shame tangled up in the idea of struggling. So they mask it—not to lie, but to stay safe from judgement, rejection, or worse: indifference.
4. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
Downplaying comes naturally to people who’ve been told their feelings are dramatic, or their problems aren’t real. They minimise to survive—to make sure they’re not dismissed before they’ve even finished speaking. When someone says this, it’s worth pausing. Often, it is a big deal. They’ve just learned that claiming space for their pain feels risky.
5. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
This one feels noble on the surface, but underneath, it often says, “I’ve been too much before, so I’ll make this easier for you.” It’s a way of avoiding closeness while pretending to protect other people. People who carry unworthiness often distance themselves in emotional moments because being worried about feels uncomfortable. It brushes up against the belief that they’re not worth effort or concern.
6. “I’m just being silly.”
This is usually said after expressing something real—an insecurity, a dream, a worry—and then quickly backtracking. It’s a way of softening the moment, of saying “don’t take me too seriously,” just in case it’s met with ridicule or disinterest. Underneath is often a fear that their thoughts don’t carry weight. That if they speak from the heart, it’ll be met with a blank stare—or worse, a laugh.
7. “I’m not very good at this.”
Source: Unsplash This one shows up before trying something new, or after doing something imperfectly. It’s meant to lower expectations, to soften the blow if they fail, to pre-empt any potential embarrassment. People with low self-worth often assume the worst about how they’ll be received. So they take the edge off first, before anyone else can.
8. “You probably have better things to do.”
This one gets tossed out casually when someone offers time, help, or presence. However, it’s usually not about the other person; it’s about the speaker’s belief that they’re not worth prioritising. They’re constantly measuring their own value against other people’s attention. And the internal scoreboard never lands in their favour, no matter how much care is offered.
9. “I just got lucky.”
Source: Unsplash When someone can’t accept credit or feel proud of themselves, this phrase often steps in. It removes them from their own success. It’s easier to believe in luck than to believe they’re worthy of praise. Unworthiness has a way of making achievements feel like flukes. It filters compliments until they sound unearned. Even the win becomes something to downplay.
10. “You don’t have to say that.”
This usually follows a compliment, especially one that hits a nerve. Instead of “thank you,” they push it away. Not because they’re rude, but because their brain doesn’t believe it. When you feel unworthy, praise feels suspicious. You assume people are saying nice things to be polite, not because they actually see you clearly. So you deflect, even if it hurts a little to do it.
11. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”
This sounds independent, and sometimes it is. However, other times, it’s a wall. People with a deep sense of unworthiness often isolate when they need help the most because asking feels like a risk they can’t afford to take. They might crave support, but feel undeserving of it. So they choose struggle over vulnerability. It’s not pride; it’s fear dressed up as self-sufficiency.
12. “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
This comes out a lot when someone’s been taught that their emotions are wrong or excessive. Instead of letting themselves be human, they judge their reactions, compare them to other people, or try to silence them entirely. Underneath is often a quiet belief: “My feelings are too much.” That belief keeps them emotionally distant, even from themselves.
13. “I’m just being dramatic.”
This is another form of emotional minimising, usually said when someone’s on the edge of vulnerability and panics. It’s a quick retreat, a way to reframe their real experience as something exaggerated or silly. Unworthiness tells people they’re too intense, too emotional, too everything. So, they downplay, even when they’re hurting. Even when they’re desperate to be understood.
14. “I don’t know why anyone would want to date me.”
This one stings. It sounds like self-awareness, but it’s often masking a very old wound. It’s not fishing for compliments—it’s a quiet truth they’ve carried for a long time and never quite challenged. People who say this often carry deep questions about their lovability. They don’t see what other people might value because they’ve been told, directly or indirectly, that they’re not enough. Not worthy. Not wanted.
15. “Other people have it worse.”
This one’s sneaky. It sounds compassionate or selfless, but often it’s a way of denying their own right to pain. They use perspective as a weapon, to silence their own needs. There’s a difference between gratitude and suppression. When someone constantly invalidates their own struggle, it’s usually not because they’re fine. It’s because they’ve learned to believe their suffering doesn’t matter.
