Working dads are often praised for “providing” and “balancing work and family,” while working mums face a completely different set of comments.
Sadly, those comments usually come loaded with guilt, judgement, or outdated assumptions. No matter how much progress has been made, many people still hold working mothers to a different standard than their male counterparts. These are just some of the ignorant things that are often said about mums who work that dads who value their careers never get.
1. “Who’s watching the kids?”
Working mothers constantly get asked who’s taking care of their children while they’re at work, as if being employed means they’ve abandoned their parenting duties. Meanwhile, no one asks working dads the same question — it’s just assumed their kids are fine.
Parenting is a shared responsibility, but mums are often treated like they should be the default caregiver. The assumption that a mother needs to justify her work-life balance while a father doesn’t speaks volumes about how society still views gender roles.
2. “Don’t you feel guilty?”
Many working mums hear this question as if having a job means they should feel bad for not being with their kids 24/7. There’s an underlying suggestion that a “good” mother wouldn’t prioritise a career. Working dads rarely get asked this because their employment is seen as normal or even admirable. Women, on the other hand, often feel pressured to defend their choices instead of being supported for balancing both worlds.
3. “How do you manage it all?”
While it’s sometimes meant as a compliment, this question often implies that a working mum is somehow taking on an impossible task. It assumes she’s juggling too much, whereas a working dad isn’t seen as having the same level of responsibility. The reality is, plenty of parents — mothers and fathers — manage work and family life every day. But only women seem to get this question, as if balancing both is a rare feat rather than a normal part of life.
4. “Why did you even have kids if you were just going to work?”
This is one of the most unfair things a working mother can hear. The idea that having children means she should automatically give up her career is outdated and dismissive. People rarely ask working dads the same thing. Their careers are seen as essential, while working mums are sometimes made to feel like they’re making a selfish choice instead of simply providing for their family.
5. “I could never leave my kids like that.”
Some people say this in a way that makes it sound like working mothers are heartless for having a job. It creates unnecessary guilt, as if being a woman who has kids and a job means they love their children any less. Yet, when fathers work full-time, their love for their kids isn’t questioned. The double standard suggests that only mothers should struggle with the idea of being away from their children.
6. “Your kids must miss you so much.”
While it’s natural for children to miss their parents, this comment makes it sound like a working mum’s absence is a huge problem. It subtly suggests that her choice is harming her kids, even if she’s providing for them and setting a great example. Working dads don’t hear this nearly as often because their absence is seen as normal. Meanwhile, women are often made to feel like their presence at home is more important than anything else.
7. “It must be so hard on your husband.”
If a woman works long hours or travels for work, some people assume it must be a burden on her husband, as if he can’t handle running a household without her. The idea that a man should be struggling because his wife has a career is based on the outdated notion that women should always be the primary caregivers. When dads work long hours, no one asks how their wives are coping. In fact, it’s often expected that the wife will naturally pick up the slack.
8. “Do you cook dinner every night?”
People often assume that even if a mother works full-time, she should still be in charge of home-cooked meals every night. The idea that she should work all day and still come home to prepare a family meal adds to the unrealistic expectations placed on women with kids. Most working dads don’t get questioned about their cooking habits because it’s still assumed that meal prep is a mother’s responsibility, even when both parents work.
9. “It must be nice to have a break from the kids.”
Some people act like going to work is a form of relaxation for mums, rather than an actual responsibility. The idea that a career is somehow a “break” suggests that motherhood is a full-time job that should always come first. Working dads aren’t told they’re “getting a break” by going to work because their jobs are taken seriously. Mothers, on the other hand, sometimes have to fight for their careers to be seen as equally important.
10. “I bet you let them have too much screen time.”
There’s often an assumption that working mums rely on screens to “babysit” their kids. If a mother has a career, some people assume she must not have enough time to engage with her children properly. Meanwhile, if a dad is working full-time, it’s rarely questioned how much screen time his kids get. He isn’t expected to be constantly monitoring their every move.
11. “I don’t know how you do it; I’d be too exhausted.”
Source: Unsplash While this can be meant as admiration, it also reinforces the idea that working mums are taking on an overwhelming burden rather than simply living a normal, balanced life. Working dads aren’t treated like superheroes for going to work and having kids — they’re just seen as responsible adults. But for some reason, people assume it must be impossible for women to do both.
12. “Aren’t you worried about missing all the special moments?”
Many working mums hear this and immediately feel guilty, as if every milestone that happens while they’re at work is a missed opportunity. Yet, dads don’t get asked the same thing. Their role as a parent isn’t questioned just because they have a job, while mums are often made to feel like they’re sacrificing too much.
13. “Your boss must not be very understanding.”
People assume that working mums need extra leniency from their employer, as if they can’t handle both work and family. There’s an expectation that their job must be making exceptions for them all the time. Working dads, on the other hand, are rarely questioned about whether their employer is accommodating their family life. It’s just assumed they’re capable of managing both.
14. “Do you really need to work?”
Perhaps one of the most frustrating questions working mothers get asked is whether their job is truly necessary. There’s still an underlying belief that a mother’s place is at home, and if she chooses to work, it must be because she has to, not because she wants to. Working dads are never asked this. Their careers are viewed as essential, while mums are often expected to justify their choice to work at all.
