Good parenting isn’t about making life as easy as possible for your kids — it’s about preparing them for the real world.
The best parents knew that some things were worth earning rather than just being handed over. Whether it was money, freedom, or privileges, having to work for something made it all the more valuable. If your parents made you put in the effort before giving you these things, you probably appreciate them a lot more now. Not only that, but chances are you’re much more responsible, thoughtful, and a lot less selfish and entitled.
1. Pocket money
Some kids got an allowance just for existing, but good parents knew that money should be earned. Whether it was washing the car, mowing the lawn, or doing extra chores around the house, pocket money wasn’t just handed out for free. Learning that money comes from effort, not just because you asked for it, made the first real pay cheque in adulthood feel that much more rewarding. It also stopped you from expecting cash to magically appear whenever you wanted something.
2. Staying up late
Bedtimes were non-negotiable when you were younger, but as you got older, the rules relaxed — if you showed you could handle it. Whether that meant getting up on time for school, not being a nightmare in the morning, or proving you weren’t just going to stay up all night, later bedtimes had to be earned. It was one of those things that seemed unfair at the time, but looking back, it taught you that freedom comes with responsibility. Plus, let’s be honest — most adults would love to have someone forcing them to get more sleep.
3. Owning a mobile phone
There was a time when getting a mobile phone wasn’t just a given (assuming you grew up in a time when they were already a thing). Good parents didn’t just buy you the latest model because you wanted it — they made sure you understood the responsibility that came with it. Whether that meant waiting until you were a certain age, proving you could take care of your belongings, or even contributing towards the cost, having a phone felt like a privilege, not a right. And because of that, you probably took better care of it.
4. Freedom to go out alone
Going places without adult supervision was something you had to work up to. Whether it was walking to school, heading to the shops, or meeting up with friends, your parents needed to know they could trust you first. That trust wasn’t just handed out; it was earned by proving you’d be responsible, check in when needed, and not get yourself into trouble. And once you had that freedom, you understood the responsibility that came with it.
5. A later curfew
There was no way your parents were letting you stay out late unless you’d earned that right. Whether it was showing you could handle coming home on time, being honest about where you were going, or proving you could be trusted, curfews didn’t just extend automatically. And if you ever messed up by staying out too late or not checking in, you knew that freedom could be taken away just as quickly as it was given. It was a lesson in responsibility that stuck with you.
6. Having your own money to spend
Birthday money and Christmas cash aside, if you wanted spending money outside of pocket money, you had to earn it. That meant getting a paper round, babysitting, or helping out with extra chores to prove you could manage money properly. Good parents didn’t just hand out cash every time you wanted something. You had to learn the value of money by working for it, which made you think twice before spending it on something pointless.
7. Getting a pet
Plenty of kids begged for a pet, but the best parents didn’t give in unless you proved you were ready for the responsibility. It didn’t matter if it was looking after a goldfish first, proving you could feed and walk a dog, or cleaning out a hamster cage — pets weren’t just handed over. The result? If you did get one, you actually took care of it, rather than leaving your parents to do all the work. It was an early lesson in responsibility that stuck with you.
8. Lifts to places you wanted to go
Getting dropped off at a friend’s house or picked up from somewhere wasn’t something that automatically happened. Good parents made it clear that lifts weren’t a taxi service — they expected something in return. That usually meant helping out with something at home, planning ahead instead of assuming they’d be free, or at the very least, showing some appreciation. If you grew up knowing that getting a lift wasn’t an automatic right, you probably don’t take people’s time for granted now.
9. Watching certain TV shows or films
There were always certain shows or films you weren’t allowed to watch when you were younger, and getting access to them had to be earned. Maybe it was proving you were mature enough to handle it or waiting until you were the right age, but good parents didn’t just say yes to everything. Looking back, it probably kept you from watching things that would have freaked you out at a young age. And once you did get the green light, it actually felt like a privilege.
10. Having your own space
If you shared a room with siblings or had to follow strict house rules, getting your own space was something that came with age and responsibility. Whether it was keeping your room tidy, respecting other people’s boundaries, or proving you could handle privacy, it wasn’t just handed to you. And when you finally got it, you appreciated it more because you knew what it felt like not to have it.
11. Choosing your own clothes
There was a time when your parents picked out all your clothes, and getting to choose your own outfits was a major milestone. But good parents didn’t just let you wear whatever you wanted right away —you had to show some level of responsibility first. That meant proving you could dress appropriately for the weather, not wasting money on ridiculous trends, and sometimes even budgeting for your own clothes. It was an early lesson in independence that stayed with you.
12. Getting your own laptop or gaming console
Source: Unsplash Having your own tech wasn’t always a given. Good parents didn’t just hand out the latest gadgets — you had to prove you’d look after them and use them responsibly. Maybe you had to contribute to the cost, wait for a birthday, or share with siblings before getting your own. Either way, when you finally had it, you appreciated it a lot more.
13. Going on trips with friends
Whether it was a day out, a school trip, or a weekend away, good parents didn’t just say yes without making sure you were ready for the responsibility. They needed to know they could trust you to be sensible and take care of yourself. That meant proving you could manage your own money, follow basic rules, and not make them regret their decision. If you earned that trust, it was a huge milestone.
14. Driving lessons
Getting your licence was a big deal, but good parents didn’t just pay for driving lessons without expecting some level of responsibility in return. Whether that meant keeping up with school, helping out at home, or contributing towards the costs, it wasn’t just handed to you. It was one of the last big things you had to earn before adulthood, and once you did, it was worth it.
