Dating is supposed to be exciting, but more often than not, it’s a total headache.
Between ghosting (yes, this still happens way too often), awkward small talk, mismatched expectations, and the constant pressure to impress, it’s easy to wonder why anyone willingly puts themselves through it. That being said, while dating might never be completely stress-free, there are ways to make it a little less painful. The key is knowing how to protect your time, energy, and sanity while still keeping an open mind. By doing these things, you should be able to enjoy the process a bit more (or at the very least, stop hating it quite as much).
1. Stop treating dating like a numbers game.
Swiping through hundreds of profiles and agreeing to every date invite isn’t the best strategy. If you’re saying yes to people just to increase your odds, you’ll quickly burn out and start dreading the whole process. Dating shouldn’t feel like a second job. Instead of treating it as a game of statistics, focus on people who genuinely interest you. Being selective means you’ll have fewer but more meaningful experiences, which beats wasting time on dates that feel like forced interviews with strangers.
2. Have a go-to first date spot.
The last thing you need is the added stress of choosing a new location for every first date. Having a casual, comfortable spot you already like makes things a lot easier. Pick somewhere that’s relaxed, not too loud, and ideally somewhere you’d enjoy even if the date turns out to be a dud.
Having a go-to spot also helps you feel more at ease. You’ll already know the menu, the vibe, and where the exits are if you need to make a quick escape. Just maybe switch it up occasionally to avoid the staff recognising you and asking, “Another first date?”
3. Keep the first date short and sweet.
Sitting through a long, drawn-out dinner with someone you barely know is risky. If the chemistry is off or the conversation feels like pulling teeth, you’ll be trapped for way longer than necessary. A first date should be more of a vibe check than a full-blown event.
A short and casual meet-up, like grabbing coffee or going for a quick walk, takes the pressure off. If things are going well, you can always extend the date. If they’re not, it’s much easier to leave without an awkward excuse about needing to rescue your imaginary sick pet.
4. Have a built-in escape plan.
Even with the best screening methods, some dates just don’t go well. Whether it’s a personality mismatch, an uncomfortable vibe, or someone who’s completely different from their profile, it’s good to have an easy exit strategy.
Let a friend know where you’re going and set up a check-in time. If you need to leave, a simple “I have to be up early for work” works every time. No need for dramatic excuses — just a polite but firm exit when you’ve had enough.
5. Don’t rely too much on texting chemistry.
Some people are hilarious and engaging over text but completely flat in person. If you’ve ever gone on a date expecting sparks because of amazing chats beforehand, only to find out there’s zero real-life chemistry, you know the disappointment.
Rather than spending weeks messaging back and forth, move things offline sooner rather than later. A quick call or a low-pressure meet-up will tell you far more than endless emojis and perfectly crafted responses.
6. Be realistic about red flags.
Everyone has quirks, but some behaviours are warning signs that shouldn’t be ignored. If they’re rude to waitstaff, constantly complaining about their ex, or immediately trying to rush into something serious, take note. Red flags don’t go away with time — they usually get worse. If something feels off early on, trust your gut and don’t waste time hoping they’ll magically become a better person later.
7. Have a confidence-boosting pre-date routine.
First dates can be nerve-wracking, no matter how many you’ve been on. Having a quick pre-date routine that hypes you up can make all the difference. Whether it’s listening to your favourite music, reminding yourself of your best qualities, or just taking a few deep breaths, do whatever helps you feel your best.
Walking into a date with confidence makes a huge impact. And remember—this isn’t just about whether they like you. You’re also deciding if you like them, so take the pressure off yourself.
8. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
It’s tempting to play up certain traits or act in a way you think will impress your date. But pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting and pointless. If you’re faking interests, personality traits, or lifestyle choices, the truth will come out eventually.
The right person will like you for who you actually are. Being honest from the start saves you both time and ensures you’re building something real, rather than forcing a connection based on a version of yourself that doesn’t exist.
9. Know when to end a bad date early.
If you realise halfway through a date that there’s no spark, don’t force yourself to stick it out just to be polite. It’s perfectly fine to say, “I don’t think we’re a great match, but it was nice meeting you.” Most people would rather hear that than sit through an hour of forced small talk.
Dragging out a date when you already know it’s not going anywhere helps no one. Being upfront saves time, avoids awkwardness, and lets both of you move on without unnecessary effort.
10. Take breaks when you need to.
If dating starts to feel more like a chore than something fun, step back for a bit. Forcing yourself to keep swiping and meeting new people when you’re mentally exhausted will only make you resent the whole process. Taking a break lets you reset, refocus, and come back when you actually feel excited about meeting someone new again. Dating should never feel like an obligation.
11. Ignore outdated dating “rules.”
There’s no shortage of bad advice telling you to wait three days to text, play hard to get, or avoid discussing real topics too soon. But forcing yourself to follow these so-called rules usually just makes things more complicated than they need to be. Every connection is different. Do what feels natural instead of trying to follow someone else’s formula for how dating “should” work.
12. Stop chasing people who aren’t showing interest.
If someone is inconsistent, flaky, or lukewarm about you, take the hint. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to like you, and if they’re not putting in effort, it’s not worth yours. The right person will be excited to see you, make plans, and prioritise you without you having to beg for their attention. Move on and find someone who actually matches your energy.
13. Be upfront about what you want.
Looking for a relationship? Just interested in something casual? Whatever it is, being honest about your expectations early on will save you from unnecessary confusion and mismatched expectations. People who are on the same page will appreciate the clarity. And if someone wants something completely different, you’ll know before getting emotionally invested.
14. Have fun with it.
Dating doesn’t have to be a stressful mission to find “the one” as quickly as possible. When you take the pressure off and just focus on having good conversations and new experiences, the process becomes a lot more bearable. Not every date needs to lead somewhere — sometimes, it’s just a fun evening, an interesting chat, or even a funny story to tell later. When you shift your mindset, dating stops feeling like a nightmare and starts feeling like an adventure.
