Getting stood up is one of those dating experiences that can be absolutely devastating.
You’ve put time and effort into getting ready, arrived on time, and then… nothing. No text, no explanation, just silence. Whether it’s a first date or someone you’ve been seeing for a while, it can feel humiliating and frustrating. But instead of letting it ruin your mood — or worse, your self-worth — you can take steps to handle the situation with confidence. The way you respond can make all the difference in whether this ruins your night or just becomes a mildly annoying story to laugh about later.
1. Give yourself a time limit to wait.
Before jumping to conclusions, give your date a reasonable window of time to show up. Sometimes, unexpected delays happen — traffic, a phone dying, or a genuine mix-up with times or locations. But that doesn’t mean you should sit there indefinitely waiting for them.
If 15 to 20 minutes pass without a message or explanation, that’s your cue to move on with your evening. Respecting your own time is key; you don’t want to be the person sitting at a table for an hour, hoping for someone who may never arrive.
2. Send one final message, then move on.
If you haven’t already received an update, sending one short and direct message is enough: “Hey, I’m here. Let me know if you’re still coming.” If they don’t respond within a few minutes, resist the urge to send follow-ups. One message is enough to be polite while also setting a boundary. If they don’t care enough to reply or show up, that’s your answer — you deserve better.
3. Avoid jumping to self-blame.
Being stood up can feel personal, but it’s rarely a reflection of you. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive, unworthy, or that you did something wrong. In reality, it says a lot more about the other person’s lack of maturity, respect, or ability to communicate.
Instead of spiralling into self-doubt, remind yourself that someone who genuinely wanted to be there would have made sure to show up — or at the very least, given you a heads-up if they couldn’t. Their flakiness is not a reflection of your value.
4. Make a new plan for the evening.
Don’t let a no-show ruin your entire night. You’re already dressed, you’re already out, so why not make the most of it? Call a friend for a spontaneous dinner, go to the cinema to see that film you’ve been meaning to see, or even enjoy a solo night out.
The best way to take back control is to prove to yourself that your time is valuable. Turning a disappointing situation into an unexpected adventure makes the whole thing feel less like a rejection and more like just a minor detour.
5. Treat yourself to something nice.
There’s nothing wrong with turning the situation into an excuse for a little self-care. Whether it’s grabbing a dessert you love, buying yourself something small, or simply enjoying a relaxed night in with a movie, make sure you end the evening on a positive note. Being stood up can feel like a letdown, but taking care of yourself afterward flips the focus back onto you, where it belongs.
6. Resist the urge to send an angry message, as tough as that might be.
The temptation to send a long, angry text is real, but it’s usually not worth it. Venting might feel satisfying in the moment, but in the long run, silence is often the best response. People who think it’s okay to stand someone up usually know they’ve messed up. Giving them an emotional reaction just feeds into the situation. Keeping your dignity intact by walking away without a scene speaks louder than any text ever could.
7. Call a friend and laugh about it.
Nothing makes a bad situation feel lighter than sharing it with someone who gets you. Telling a friend can help you process what happened while also putting it into perspective. Plus, there’s a good chance they’ve been through something similar and will remind you that it’s their loss, not yours. Sometimes, talking it out with someone who will hype you up can completely change the way you feel about the situation.
8. Resist the urge to stalk their social media.
Checking their Instagram to see if they’re out somewhere else or posting memes on their Instagram Stories or making TikTok videos after ignoring you won’t change anything — it’ll just frustrate you more. Instead of wasting energy trying to figure out why they bailed, focus on yourself. Unfollow, mute, or block if needed. The less you engage with them, the easier it is to move on.
9. Consider blocking or deleting their number.
If this was a first date or someone you barely know, cutting off contact can help you move on without any lingering frustration. You don’t owe them another chance if they disrespected your time. However, if it’s someone you’ve been dating for a while, and they reach out later, you’ll need to decide whether their excuse is valid or if they’re just testing whether you’ll tolerate being treated poorly.
10. Don’t let it shake your confidence.
It’s easy to let moments like this make you question yourself, but don’t. Being stood up is about the other person’s flakiness, not your worth. Plenty of great people are out there who will show up and value getting to know you. Rather than taking this as a personal failure, remind yourself that someone else’s lack of respect doesn’t define you.
11. Look for red flags (if there were any).
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, getting stood up happens completely out of the blue. But other times, there are subtle warning signs beforehand, like inconsistent communication, vague plans, or last-minute cancellations. Looking back, if there were any hints that they might be unreliable, take it as a lesson for next time. Moving forward, trusting actions over words can help prevent being let down again in the future (though no guarantees on that part).
12. Decide if you’d even want to give them another chance.
Source: Unsplash If they eventually reach out with an apology, you’ll have to decide if their excuse is valid or just an attempt to smooth things over. Did they genuinely have an emergency, or did they just not prioritise you? If they show real remorse and take responsibility, you can consider giving them one more shot, but only if they prove they respect your time. If their excuse is weak, or they’re indifferent, it’s best to move on.
13. Move forward knowing you deserve better.
Source: Unsplash At the end of the day, getting stood up says everything about them and nothing about you. Someone who can’t even send a quick text to cancel or reschedule isn’t someone worth your energy. The right people will show up, both physically and emotionally. And when they do, you’ll realise that this was just a small bump in the road to finding someone who actually values you.
