Some people have a way of making everything about them, whether it’s in conversations, decisions, or relationships.
While everyone can be a bit self-centred at times, there’s a difference between looking after yourself and consistently putting your own needs above everyone else’s. Selfish people often reveal themselves in the way they talk. They dismiss, deflect, and make sure they always come first. Here are some phrases that might sound familiar if you’ve ever dealt with someone who only looks out for themselves.
1. “I’m not changing for anyone.”
Growth? Compromise? Self-awareness? Not their thing. They believe they’re perfect just the way they are and see any suggestion for improvement as an attack, rather than an opportunity to grow a bit. Even when their behaviour clearly hurts other people, they dig their heels in.
It’s one thing to be confident in who you are, but refusing to ever change, especially when change is clearly needed, is a clear sign of selfishness. They see personal growth as optional, and more often than not, they’ll expect everyone else to adapt around them.
2. “That sounds like a you problem.”
Instead of being supportive or even just showing some basic empathy, they shut things down with this phrase. It’s their way of saying, “Not my issue, not my responsibility.” They don’t want to be inconvenienced by someone else’s struggles.
It’s dismissive and cold, and it’s a sure sign that they only engage when something directly benefits them. If they cared, they’d at least listen, but they’d rather make it clear that they have no interest in getting involved. What lovely people.
3. “I don’t owe anyone anything.”
This one is a favourite among people who avoid accountability. Whether it’s showing appreciation, making an effort in relationships, or even just basic human decency, they act like they’re free from any obligation.
Of course, no one is required to bend over backwards for anyone else, but relationships of all kinds do require some level of give and take. They don’t see it that way, though. In their mind, they only give when it suits them.
4. “I do what I want.”
This sounds like confidence, but when it’s used in the wrong context, it really just means, “I don’t care how this affects you.” They see life as their own personal playground, and if someone else gets hurt along the way, that’s not their concern.
There’s a difference between living authentically and refusing to consider other people. Selfish people use this to justify reckless or inconsiderate behaviour, acting as if responsibility is something that only applies to other people.
5. “That’s just how I am.”
They use this as a get-out-of-jail-free card for bad behaviour. Instead of acknowledging flaws and working on them, they act like their personality is set in stone and that everyone else just has to deal with it. It’s yet another excuse to avoid accountability. If they were really self-aware, they’d acknowledge that growth is part of being human, but they’d rather act like they have no control over their actions.
6. “I don’t have time for other people’s drama.”
Translation: “I don’t care about your problems unless they directly impact me.” They use this one to shut down conversations where they might be expected to show support or empathy. Acting as if people having emotions or going through things in life is “dramatic” by nature is not only dismissive, it’s ridiculous.
Of course, no one wants unnecessary drama, but there’s a difference between avoiding toxic situations and refusing to be there for people. They’ll happily talk about their own problems for hours, but the moment the focus flips to someone else, they’re suddenly too busy.
7. “I don’t see why I should have to apologise.”
Even when they’re clearly in the wrong, they refuse to acknowledge it. Apologies require humility and self-reflection, and they’d rather double down than admit they hurt someone. They might even try to turn the situation around, making the other person feel guilty for expecting an apology in the first place. In their mind, saying sorry means admitting weakness, and they’ll avoid it at all costs.
8. “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t ask me to do this.”
This is classic manipulation. Instead of considering a request fairly, they flip it around to make the other person feel bad for even asking. They use guilt to get out of putting in any effort. It’s okay to ask things of people sometimes, or to hold them to certain expectations. After all, relationships are meant to be as close to 50/50 as possible, not one-way traffic.
This is just a way of keeping things one-sided. They expect everyone else to cater to them, but the moment they’re asked for something, they act like it’s unfair.
9. “I don’t do favours.”
They expect help when they need it, but they don’t believe in returning the gesture. They see favours as something beneath them — something for other people to do, not them. Everyone has limits, and no one should feel obligated to help all the time. But selfish people take it to another level, refusing to lift a finger unless there’s something in it for them.
10. “I never asked you to do that.”
Even when someone does something nice for them, they won’t show gratitude. Instead, they’ll brush it off, acting like they never wanted or needed the gesture in the first place.
It’s their way of dodging any sense of obligation. If they acknowledge the kindness, they might feel pressured to return it. So instead, they act indifferent. The best, easiest, and most decent response would be a simple “thank you,” but that’s often too much for them.
11. “I’m just being honest.”
Honesty is great, but selfish people use it as an excuse to be rude. They’ll say something hurtful and then act like they’re just :keeping it real,” as if that justifies being unkind. There’s a difference between honesty and cruelty. People who care about other people choose their words with care. Selfish people, on the other hand, use so-called honesty as a weapon.
12. “I don’t do commitments.”
They love the idea of keeping their options open, whether in relationships, friendships, or even work. They don’t want to be tied down to anything that might require effort or responsibility.
It’s not that commitments are bad; it’s that they don’t want to be held accountable. They’ll keep things vague and noncommittal, making sure they always have an easy way out. Of course, this also means they don’t get to enjoy emotional intimacy and deeply fulfilling relationships, but they don’t seem to care about that.
13. “I don’t have time for this.”
Instead of working through an issue, they’ll shut it down with this phrase. It’s not that they’re actually too busy; it’s that they don’t want to deal with anything that doesn’t serve them. It’s a way of dismissing conversations before they even start, making sure they never have to take responsibility or hear something they don’t want to hear.
14. “I’m just looking out for myself.”
On the surface, this sounds reasonable — everyone needs to take care of themselves. But when selfish people say this, what they really mean is, “I don’t care who I step on as long as I get what I want.” Looking out for yourself doesn’t mean disrespecting or disregarding everyone else, but they don’t see it that way. They’ll make sure they come first, even if it means hurting people in the process.
15. “I’m not responsible for how you feel.”
While it’s true that no one can control someone else’s emotions, this is often used as a way to dismiss hurt feelings. Instead of acknowledging their impact, they act like feelings are a personal problem that they have no connection to.
They avoid accountability by pretending that their words and actions exist in a vacuum. In reality, they just don’t want to acknowledge when they’ve done something hurtful. If only they accepted the importance of a genuine “I’m sorry.”
16. “That’s just life.”
They use this to brush off other people’s struggles, acting like nothing is their concern unless it directly affects them. Instead of offering support, they act like life is just tough and people should deal with it on their own. At the end of the day, selfish people make sure that no matter what happens, they’re the ones who benefit the most. And when that mindset is reflected in the things they say, it’s pretty hard to miss.
