Even with more awareness and representation than ever, misconceptions about the LGBTQIA+ community are still everywhere.
Whether it’s outdated beliefs, harmful stereotypes, or just plain misinformation, so many people continue to misunderstand what it actually means to be queer (or anything other than straight). While progress has been made, these misunderstandings can still lead to discrimination, erasure, and unnecessary judgement. These are just some of the things a large part of society still gets wrong about LGBTQIA+ people.
1. Being queer is a choice.
One of the biggest and most damaging myths is that being anything other than straight is something people “choose.” Some still believe that sexuality or gender identity is a personal decision rather than something people are born with, leading to harmful ideas about “changing” or “fixing” queer people.
The reality is that no one chooses their identity, just like no one chooses to be straight or cisgender. What is a choice, however, is whether or not someone decides to live openly as their authentic self, and that decision can be influenced by societal pressure, safety concerns, and personal circumstances.
2. It’s “just a phase.”
Many people still dismiss LGBTQIA+ identities as something temporary, especially for younger people. Some assume that people who come out as gay, bisexual, or transgender are just “experimenting” or going through a phase they’ll eventually grow out of.
Of course, that mindset invalidates real identities and makes it harder for people to be taken seriously. While some people may explore different labels before finding what fits them best, that doesn’t make their identity any less real in the moment. Dismissing it as a phase only adds unnecessary doubt and pressure.
3. Being bisexual means you’re confused.
Bisexuality is one of the most misunderstood identities, with many assuming it means someone is “halfway” between being straight and gay. There’s a persistent belief that bisexual people are just confused, in denial, or eventually going to “pick a side.”
The truth is that bisexuality is a valid and stable identity. People who are attracted to multiple genders aren’t confused; they’re simply attracted to more than one gender. Assuming otherwise just reinforces harmful stereotypes and erases the experiences of bisexual people.
4. Transgender people are just following a trend.
With increased visibility of trans and non-binary people, some assume that being transgender is just the latest trend or social fad. That’s nonsense, but it’s a belief that leads to dismissive attitudes, with people suggesting that young trans people are only identifying this way because of peer influence or online exposure.
The reality is that transgender people have always existed — history is full of cultures that recognized and respected gender diversity long before modern conversations about it. More visibility simply means more people feel safe enough to express who they’ve always been, not that being trans is new or trendy.
5. Coming out is just a one-time thing.
Many assume that once someone comes out, it’s done and over with. They imagine a dramatic moment where someone announces their identity, and from then on, life moves forward without issue. But in reality, coming out is an ongoing process.
Every new job, relationship, friendship, or social setting can require queer people to come out all over again. Depending on the environment, this can range from mildly uncomfortable to outright dangerous. It’s not just a one-and-done situation — it’s something LGBTQIA+ people navigate throughout their entire lives.
6. Pride is about seeking attention.
Some people believe LGBTQIA+ pride events and celebrations are just about attention-seeking or trying to “shove it in people’s faces.” They question why there isn’t a straight pride or assume that queer people just want special treatment.
In reality, pride exists because for decades, queer people were forced to hide who they were. It’s about visibility, community, and reclaiming space after years of oppression. It’s not about asking for extra recognition; it’s about celebrating the right to exist openly and safely.
7. Being non-binary is just wanting to be different.
Non-binary people are often accused of making up their identity for attention or rejecting gender norms just for the sake of it. Some assume that being non-binary is just an exaggerated way of saying someone doesn’t like traditional gender roles.
But non-binary identities have nothing to do with rebelling against gender expectations — they’re about existing outside of the strict male/female binary. Many cultures throughout history have acknowledged genders beyond just “man” and “woman,” proving that non-binary people aren’t a modern invention, but part of the natural diversity of human identity. Is it really that hard to use they/them pronouns, even if you don’t fully get it?
8. Queer relationships have to follow traditional gender roles.
Many people still apply outdated gender roles to LGBTQIA+ relationships, assuming that one person must be “the man” and the other “the woman.” This is especially common in same-sex relationships, where people ask who is the “husband” and who is the “wife.”
However, queer relationships don’t have to mimic heterosexual norms to be valid. Every relationship is unique, and many couples reject the idea that someone has to play a specific role based on gender expectations.
9. Being asexual means you’re broken or haven’t met the right person.
Asexuality — experiencing little to no sexual attraction — is often misunderstood. Many people assume that asexual people are just repressed, damaged, or waiting for the right partner to “fix” them.
However, being asexual isn’t a problem to solve; it’s a real and valid identity. Asexual people can have fulfilling relationships, love deeply, and experience emotional connection just like anyone else. Assuming they’re just waiting to be “fixed” is both dismissive and harmful.
10. Queer people are trying to “convert” everyone.
A persistent myth is that gay and trans people are trying to “turn” people gay or push an agenda. This belief fuels the idea that exposure to LGBTQIA+ people or themes in the media will somehow influence others to adopt an identity that isn’t truly theirs.
Sexuality and gender identity don’t work that way. Representation doesn’t “turn” anyone queer; it simply allows people who already are to feel seen and accepted. Straight people don’t become gay just by being around gay or trans people, just like left-handed people don’t make anyone else left-handed.
11. LGBTQIA+ people are overreacting about discrimination.
Some believe that discrimination against the queer community is a thing of the past, claiming that people are too sensitive or looking for reasons to be offended. They argue that since marriage equality exists in many places, the fight for LGBTQIA+ rights is over.
The thing is, legal rights don’t erase daily discrimination, harassment, or violence. Many queer still face rejection from family, unsafe work environments, and even threats to their safety. The fact that progress has been made doesn’t mean the struggle is over.
12. There’s one “right” way to be queer.
People often expect those in the LGBTQIA+ community to fit certain stereotypes — the flamboyant gay man, the masculine lesbian, the ultra-political activist. If someone doesn’t fit these expectations, their identity is sometimes questioned or dismissed.
But there’s no single way to be queer. Some people are loud and proud, while others are more private. Some engage in activism, while others just want to live their lives. The LGBTQIA+ experience is diverse, and every individual expresses their identity in their own way.
