Getting engaged is supposed to be one of the happiest moments in a relationship, but sometimes, reality kicks in and things end up going as planned.
No one accepts a marriage proposal expecting to call it off, but life is complicated, and not every love story has a happy ending. Whether it’s cold feet, red flags, or just a gut feeling that something isn’t right, here are some of the most common reasons someone might decide to walk away before saying “I do.”
1. They realised they were more in love with the idea of marriage than their partner.
Some people get caught up in the excitement of being engaged — the ring, the wedding planning, the idea of starting a new chapter — without fully thinking about the relationship itself. The pressure to take that next big step can make it easy to ignore doubts or assume things will work out. But when the wedding hype fades, reality sets in. If someone realises they’re more excited about marriage than the person they’re marrying, that’s a huge wake-up call. Marriage is about a lifelong partnership, not just a big party, and it’s better to figure that out before the vows are exchanged.
2. Their values and future goals didn’t align.
Love is important, but shared values and compatible life goals are what make a marriage work long-term. Some couples don’t realise just how different their priorities are until they start having serious conversations about kids, careers, finances, or where they want to live. If those conversations reveal major conflicts, calling off the engagement might be the best option. It’s easy to think love will solve everything, but some differences just can’t be compromised on. If two people want completely different things from life, forcing a marriage will only lead to resentment down the line.
3. They ignored red flags for too long.
Sometimes, the warning signs were there all along, but love, hope, or even pressure from family and friends made them easy to ignore. Maybe there were issues with trust, constant arguments, or behaviours that didn’t sit right. When someone finally takes a step back, they might realise they’ve been overlooking major problems. Walking away from an engagement isn’t easy, but it’s a lot easier than dealing with the fallout of a broken marriage. If the red flags become impossible to ignore, backing out is the smartest move.
4. They felt pressured into saying yes.
Not every proposal is a total surprise — sometimes, one person feels expected to say yes, even if they’re not ready. Maybe they felt pressure from their partner, their family, or even themselves because they thought it was “the right time.” But an engagement made under pressure often leads to regret. It takes courage to admit that a “yes” was given for the wrong reasons. But staying in a relationship just because it’s expected is never a good foundation for marriage.
5. They realised their partner wasn’t as supportive as they needed.
Marriage is a partnership, and support is a huge part of that. If someone feels like they’re constantly facing life’s challenges alone, an engagement might make them rethink things. A partner who dismisses feelings, avoids tough conversations, or isn’t there when it really matters can make the future look a lot lonelier than expected. Feeling unsupported in a relationship is a major red flag. It’s one thing to deal with minor frustrations, but if someone doesn’t feel like their partner truly has their back, walking away might be the best choice.
6. They couldn’t shake the gut feeling that something was off.
Sometimes, there’s no dramatic event or huge argument, just a persistent feeling that something isn’t right. People can convince themselves to push through doubt, blaming it on nerves or stress, but deep down, they know they’re ignoring their instincts. That gut feeling is there for a reason. It takes a lot to listen to intuition, especially when everything looks fine on the surface. But if someone can’t shake the feeling that they’re making a mistake, it’s better to trust that than force a marriage that doesn’t feel right.
7. They realised they weren’t ready for marriage.
Getting engaged is exciting, but it’s also a huge commitment. Some people say yes without fully considering what marriage actually means, and once reality sinks in, they start to panic. Maybe they’re not emotionally ready, financially stable, or in the right place mentally to take that step. There’s no shame in realising that marriage isn’t the right choice right now. It’s far better to hit pause than to rush into something life-changing before truly being ready.
8. A big life event changed everything.
Sometimes, life throws unexpected curveballs that completely shift a relationship. Maybe one person got a job in another country, a family situation changed, or something major happened that made them rethink their future. When big events shake things up, it forces people to reevaluate what they really want. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and sometimes, an engagement doesn’t survive those changes. It’s painful, but in the long run, ending things before marriage can prevent even bigger heartache later.
9. They didn’t like the way their partner handled conflict.
How a couple argues says a lot about how their marriage will be. If someone notices that their partner avoids problems, lashes out, or refuses to communicate when things get tough, that’s a major red flag. Marriage comes with challenges, and a partner who can’t handle conflict in a healthy way will make things ten times harder. No one wants to spend their life walking on eggshells or dealing with unresolved resentment. If a relationship can’t handle tough conversations now, it won’t magically improve after the wedding.
10. They realised they were settling.
Sometimes, love isn’t the reason someone stays — it’s comfort, history, or fear of starting over. People settle for relationships that feel “good enough” because they don’t want to be alone, but marriage is too big of a commitment to go into with doubts. Ending an engagement because of this realisation is tough, but it’s also one of the bravest things someone can do. Settling for less than true happiness only leads to regret.
11. They discovered major financial incompatibility.
Money isn’t the most romantic topic, but it’s one of the biggest causes of stress in relationships. If someone realises their partner is reckless with money, secretive about finances, or completely unwilling to have financial discussions, that’s a big problem. Marriage is a partnership, and financial stability matters. If these conversations reveal deep incompatibility, calling off the engagement might be necessary. It’s better to figure out these issues now than deal with financial chaos later.
12. They started seeing a different side of their partner.
Some people change when they get engaged, and not in a good way. Maybe they start being more controlling, acting entitled, or showing a level of selfishness that wasn’t there before. An engagement can reveal sides of a person that were easier to ignore when things were more casual. If someone’s true colours start to show, and they don’t like what they see, it’s a sign to rethink everything. The person you marry should be someone you fully trust, not someone who changes the second things get serious.
13. They knew deep down they deserved better.
At the end of the day, sometimes people call off an engagement because they finally realise they’re worth more than what they’re getting. Whether it’s lack of respect, lack of love, or just a feeling that they deserve something different, they make the difficult but necessary decision to walk away. Ending an engagement isn’t easy, but it’s braver than staying in something that doesn’t feel right. Marriage should be about happiness, not settling, and everyone deserves a relationship that makes them feel truly valued.
