Having someone take the mickey out of you can be annoying, whether it’s a cheeky comment from a friend, a jab in a group chat, or a full-blown insult from someone trying to get under your skin.
While it’s good-natured most of the time, there are occasions when the person doing it is legitimately trying to show you up. The key to handling it isn’t about getting defensive or snapping back aggressively; it’s about keeping your cool, staying sharp, and making sure you come out looking like the winner. Play your cards right and you’ll end up seeming funnier, smarter, and way more unbothered than them. Here are just a few top-tier replies for when someone tries to roast you — shut them down in style!
1. “That’s a bold statement coming from you.”
Few things are as satisfying as making someone second-guess themselves mid-roast. This response works best when said with a smirk, letting them wonder exactly what you mean. Are you calling them a hypocrite? Pointing out their own embarrassing moments? They won’t be sure, and that’s what makes it so effective. It puts the attention back on them and forces them to question whether they’ve just embarrassed themselves. The beauty of this comeback is that it’s subtle but powerful—it doesn’t escalate the situation, but it shifts the energy completely. Suddenly, they’re the one wondering what just happened.
2. “Oh, you practised that one in the mirror, didn’t you?”
There’s something hilariously disarming about making it seem like someone rehearsed their insult in advance. Instead of getting flustered or fighting back, this response makes them look desperate for attention. It’s especially useful when someone throws out a well-structured roast that sounds a little too polished — like they’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to use it. This one instantly takes away their moment of triumph and turns them into someone who’s clearly been overthinking their jokes.
3. “You should get that confidence bottled and sold — comedy isn’t for everyone.”
This one is great when someone is clearly trying to be funny but failing miserably. It acknowledges their boldness, but also reminds them that humour isn’t always their strong suit. It also keeps things laid-back without making it personal. They might try to come back with another joke, but if their first one didn’t land, chances are they’ll just dig themselves deeper. Either way, you walk away as the one with the sharper wit.
4. “That was adorable. Do you have any more?”
If someone is trying really hard to roast you, treating their insult like it was “cute” instead of devastating instantly takes the power out of their words. It makes them look harmless instead of threatening. Delivered with the right amount of sarcasm, this makes them seem like they’re just a kid trying to play with the grown-ups. The best part? They’ll probably feel pressured to come up with another insult on the spot, which almost never goes well.
5. “That was almost as bad as your last idea.”
This works especially well if the person roasting you has a history of saying or doing questionable things. It not only dismisses their insult, but it reminds everyone that they don’t exactly have the best track record themselves. Bringing up their past failures in a casual, throwaway manner instantly puts them on the defensive, and chances are, they’ll struggle to recover from it without looking flustered.
6. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
Sometimes, keeping things classy is the best move. This response is a timeless classic — it acknowledges their statement but makes it clear that you know better. It’s polite, clever, and works in almost any situation. Plus, it has just the right level of confidence to make them realise they’ve lost without you having to say much at all.
7. “Oh no, my feelings! Hang on, let me find them…”
Mocking fake devastation is one of the easiest ways to show that someone’s roast didn’t land. Instead of arguing back, you’re acting like they hurt you in the most over-the-top way possible. It makes it clear that their insult had no real impact, and when someone realises their words haven’t phased you, they’re far less likely to keep trying.
8. “That’s cute. Do you want to try again?”
There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to roast someone and having them treat it like a failed attempt. This comeback makes them feel like their insult wasn’t even worth a reaction. It’s especially effective when used against people who think they’re really clever because now, they either have to admit defeat or try another roast under pressure.
9. “I’d insult you back, but I don’t believe in kicking people while they’re down.”
If you really want to take the high ground while still throwing shade, this is the perfect response. It makes you sound noble, but at the same time, you’re subtly implying that they’re already struggling. It works best when said in a calm, amused tone, making it clear that you could absolutely fire back, but you won’t because they’re not worth it.
10. “It’s impressive how much confidence you have with that level of intelligence.”
Ouch. This one’s got a nice sting to it. It almost sounds like a compliment, but really, it’s questioning how they manage to be so bold despite lacking the brainpower to back it up. It’s best used on people who constantly try to bring everyone else down but rarely say anything genuinely clever. They might try to argue, but by then, you’ve already won.
11. “A for effort. C- for execution.”
This is a great way to acknowledge that they tried, but also make it clear that they didn’t quite hit the mark. It’s dismissive, but not aggressive, and keeps things playful. Most people who get this response won’t know whether to laugh or feel insulted, which is exactly the reaction you want.
12. “I love how confident you are in your wrongness.”
There’s something particularly satisfying about watching someone try to roast you and then making them question their entire argument. This one works best when their insult is based on a false assumption. It doesn’t even require much effort — you’re simply pointing out that they’re confidently incorrect, which is far more embarrassing for them than it is for you.
13. “Bless your heart. You really tried there.”
There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to roast someone and having them treat it like a child’s attempt at an argument. This one is condescending in the best way possible. It works especially well if you say it in a calm, almost sympathetic tone, like you’re genuinely proud of them for at least making the effort.
14. “I’d explain why that was weak, but I don’t want to embarrass you further.”
If you want to shut down a roast completely, this is one of the best ways to do it. It implies that not only was their insult weak, but you could break it down for them if you really wanted to. Most of the time, they won’t even try to respond—they’ll just move on, realising they’ve already lost.
15. “That was cute. Do you want a biscuit for trying?”
Nothing makes a jab feel weaker than being treated like a joke, and this makes it seem like their insult was so unimpressive that you’re offering them a reward just for participating. It’s playful but cutting — just the right balance of humour and dismissiveness. After all, if their best effort at roasting you gets treated like a school project, they probably won’t try again.
