It’s incredibly dismissive and disrespectful to be accused of “overreacting” for having a completely normal response to something someone says or does.
Of course, the only people who’d usually say that are gaslighters, manipulators, and people who refuse to take accountability for their own actions. If they can convince you that you’re the unstable one who needs to chill out and just take things in your stride, then they’re off the hook and don’t have to be the bad guy. Obviously, your first response is probably to tell them exactly where to go, but if you want to keep the conversation civil and not show yourself up, here are some responses you can try instead.
1. “Actually, this is important to me.”
Sometimes people dismiss your emotions because they don’t fully understand why you’re upset. By calmly stating that the issue matters to you, you flip the focus back to your own perspective. It helps them realise they might not be seeing the whole picture — or they’re simply refusing to. It’s also a reminder that your feelings are valid, even if they don’t share the same emotional investment. Plus, it sets the stage for a more meaningful conversation, where your thoughts and concerns are taken seriously instead of brushed aside.
2. “I’m allowed to feel how I feel.”
Everyone experiences emotions differently, and what might seem small to one person can feel significant to someone else. This one reinforces the idea that your feelings don’t need anyone else’s approval to be valid. It also subtly reminds the other person that emotional reactions are personal and not for them to judge. Standing firm in your right to feel what you feel can help establish boundaries and protect your emotional well-being.
3. “Can you help me understand why you think that?”
Responding with a question can decrease or totally break down tension and encourage the other person to think about their comment a bit more deeply. It also asks them to explain their reasoning, which might make them realise they’ve jumped to conclusions or spoken without considering your perspective. By approaching the situation with curiosity (even if you’re faking it and are actually furious), you create space for a more productive discussion. It changes the dynamic from confrontation to understanding, which might help you address the issue more constructively.
4. “Dismissing my feelings isn’t helpful.”
When someone tells you you’re overreacting, it can feel like they’re shutting down the conversation. This response brings attention to how their dismissal affects you and highlights the need for more supportive communication. It’s a direct but polite way of saying that their comment isn’t constructive. By pointing this out, you’re telling them that they need to approach the conversation with more empathy and consideration for how you’re feeling. Whether or not they will is anyone’s guess, but it’s worth a shot. If they care about you, they’ll shape up.
5. “I’d appreciate it if you listened instead of judging.”
Sometimes people dismiss feelings because they’re focused on their own perspective. This is a kind but firm way to remind them that listening matters more than passing judgement. It sets a clear expectation for how you’d like to be treated in the conversation. By asking for active listening, you’re inviting a more respectful exchange. It also tells them that you want them to try to understand your perspective rather than just dismissing it wholesale, which could help clear the air rather than letting the issue fester.
6. “Overreacting would look a lot different.”
This one throws in a touch of humour while making your point. You’re acknowledging their comment without agreeing with it, and it can lighten the mood in a tense moment. It also encourages the other person to reconsider their perspective. By subtly pointing out that your reaction is measured, you challenge their assumption in a way that’s firm but not confrontational. After all, if they’d like to see you truly overreact, you’d be more than happy to give them a demonstration…
7. “What makes you think I’m overreacting?”
Asking this question gets the other person to reflect on their comment and explain their reasoning. It can help you understand where they’re coming from while also making them think twice about dismissing your feelings. Sometimes, people don’t realise how their words come across until they’re asked to elaborate. You might be able to have a more constructive conversation with this one, where both sides can share their views without invalidating each other.
8. “Even if you don’t agree, this is how I feel.”
Not everyone will see things the same way, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less real. This acknowledges the difference in perspectives while standing firm in your emotional experience — it’s possible to do both. It’s a respectful way to assert your feelings without escalating the situation. By recognising the other person’s viewpoint while maintaining your own, you show that feelings definitely don’t need to be agreed upon to be valid.
9. “Let’s focus on finding a solution instead.”
Dismissing feelings tends to make progress pretty much impossible, leaving both sides frustrated. This response redirects the conversation toward resolving the issue, pulling attention from the emotional reaction to what can be done moving forward. By focusing on fixes, you take control of the situation and steer it in a more productive direction. It shows that you’re not stuck in your emotions — you’re willing to address the problem and move on.
10. “I don’t think you’d say that if you understood how I feel.”
Sometimes people accuse you of overreacting because they don’t fully grasp the depth of what you’re experiencing. Saying this points out that their comment may come from a place of misunderstanding rather than malice, which is possible (even if it’s not always typical). It pushes them to step into your shoes and consider your perspective more carefully. By framing your response this way, you might elicit a bit more empathy and a more meaningful dialogue.
11. “I’m not asking you to agree, just to hear me out.”
It’s frustrating when someone dismisses your feelings instead of simply listening. This one sets a clear boundary: you’re not looking for validation, just understanding. It’s a way to remind them that hearing you out doesn’t mean they have to feel the same way. Approaching the situation in this way can help ease defensiveness and shift the conversation toward mutual respect. It emphasises that emotions don’t need consensus to matter—they just need space to exist.
12. “Let’s take a break and come back to this.”
Sometimes, being told you’re overreacting can make emotions run even higher. Taking a step back gives both you and the other person a chance to cool off and approach the conversation with fresh eyes. Saying this shows maturity and self-awareness, proving that you care about resolving the issue without unnecessary drama. It also gives you time to process your feelings and think about how to address the situation more effectively. Of course, you’re not in the wrong here, so hopefully the other person comes back with a serious apology.
13. “It hurts when you dismiss my feelings like that.”
Being told you’re overreacting can feel invalidating, and it’s okay to let the other person know how their words affect you. When you come back with this, it changes the tone from defending your emotions to addressing the impact of their comment. By expressing your feelings honestly, you encourage a more compassionate response. It’s a way to remind them that their words matter and that dismissing your emotions doesn’t help the situation—it only adds to the hurt.
14. “I’m not overreacting—I’m reacting.”
This one is a simple yet effective way to reframe the situation. It reminds the other person that your emotions are a natural reaction to what’s happening, not an exaggerated response. It also reinforces the idea that feelings aren’t about being “right” or “wrong.” By standing your ground in a calm and confident way, you move the conversation from judgement to understanding.
15. “Why do you think I’m overreacting instead of asking how I feel?”
This puts the focus back on communication. Instead of letting the conversation end with their dismissal, it encourages them to engage with your emotions and ask questions instead of making assumptions. By redirecting the conversation a bit, you create an opportunity for a more meaningful chat, which could be useful. It also subtly highlights that dismissing feelings shuts down connection, while curiosity can build understanding.
16. “We don’t have to agree, but I’d like us to respect each other’s feelings.”
At the heart of every conversation is the need for mutual respect. This response acknowledges that you don’t need to see eye to eye but sets the expectation for kindness and understanding. It’s a balanced way to approach the situation, showing that while you’re willing to listen, you also expect the same in return. By prioritising respect, you create a foundation for healthier communication moving forward.
