Being in a relationship should feel like having a safe space where you can be your truest self.
While sure, it takes a while to become 100% comfortable letting your freak flag fly, so to speak, you should get to a point where you’re not scared to be a bit weird or wild with them. If doing these things around your partner scares you, it might point to a deeper issue in the relationship that needs addressing. After all, who wants to have to be on their best behaviour 24/7 when all they want is to let their hair down and be themselves?
1. Being your authentic, unfiltered self
If you constantly feel the need to put on a facade or hold back parts of your personality, it’s a red flag. You should feel free to be goofy, vulnerable, or completely “you” without fear of judgment. A partner who loves you accepts all the layers, not just the polished version. Relationships thrive when both people feel safe to be unapologetically themselves.
2. Expressing your honest opinions
Healthy relationships thrive on open communication, even when opinions differ. If you’re afraid to share your true thoughts because you worry about conflict or dismissal, it’s a sign of imbalance. A good partner listens, even if they don’t always agree. When you can share your thoughts freely, it encourages mutual understanding and respect.
3. Asking for help or support
You should never feel like you have to handle everything alone because your partner might see you as weak or needy. A supportive partner is there to lend a hand or an ear without making you feel like a burden. Asking for help strengthens the bond between you and shows that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
4. Discussing sensitive or “awkward” topics
Whether it’s about finances, health concerns, or personal insecurities, you should feel safe bringing up difficult conversations. A partner who brushes off or avoids these topics might not be ready for the level of intimacy a healthy relationship requires. Talking through the uncomfortable moments creates deeper trust and understanding over time.
5. Laughing at silly or embarrassing things
If you can’t let loose and share an unflattering laugh or admit something embarrassing, it might mean you’re walking on eggshells. A comfortable relationship lets you laugh together, even at your quirks or less-than-perfect moments. Shared laughter is one of the simplest and most effective ways to strengthen a connection.
6. Saying no without guilt
Feeling pressured to agree to everything your partner wants, whether it’s plans or intimacy, is a major red flag. You should be able to say no and have your boundaries respected without feeling like you’re letting them down. A relationship built on mutual respect allows space for individual needs and decisions.
7. Being vulnerable about your past
If you’re scared to share your history—whether it’s mistakes, trauma, or insecurities—it could point to a lack of trust in the relationship. A healthy partnership makes you feel safe enough to open up about where you’ve been without fear of judgment. Sharing your past can bring you closer and show you how supportive your partner truly is.
8. Taking time for yourself
You shouldn’t feel guilty for needing space or wanting to spend time alone. If your partner reacts negatively to you prioritising self-care or personal hobbies, it might be a sign of unhealthy dependence. Alone time is just as important as together time. It allows you to recharge and show up as your best self in the relationship.
9. Being honest about what bothers you
In a healthy relationship, you should be able to speak up about issues without fear of an argument spiralling out of control. If you’re constantly swallowing your concerns to “keep the peace,” it’s a sign that communication isn’t as strong as it should be. Addressing problems calmly creates room for growth and improvement as a couple.
10. Showing your emotional side
Whether it’s crying, venting, or expressing joy, you should feel free to show your emotions around your partner. If you feel like you have to keep everything bottled up to avoid being labelled “too emotional,” it’s a problem. Emotional openness allows your partner to truly understand and connect with you.
11. Sharing your goals and dreams
If you hesitate to talk about your ambitions because you think your partner won’t take you seriously or will belittle them, it’s a clear red flag. A supportive partner encourages you to dream big and works with you to achieve your goals. Celebrating each other’s aspirations should be a natural part of the relationship dynamic.
12. Admitting when you’re struggling
You shouldn’t feel like you always have to “keep it together” for your partner. Admitting you’re stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed should be met with understanding, not dismissal. Relationships are about supporting each other during life’s highs and lows. A partner who truly cares will want to help you through tough times.
13. Talking about boundaries and needs
If you’re uncomfortable setting boundaries or voicing your needs, it could mean you’re worried about how your partner will react. Healthy relationships respect personal limits and work together to meet each other’s needs. Open conversations about boundaries build trust and prevent misunderstandings.
14. Letting go of perfection
You shouldn’t feel like you always have to look perfect, say the right thing, or avoid making mistakes. Real love thrives on authenticity, not constant perfection. If you can’t let your guard down, it’s worth asking why. A partner who loves you will embrace your flaws, quirks, and all the little things that make you unique.
