Grief is universal, but how we cope with it can vary depending on the person.
For those who don’t believe in God or an afterlife, finding solace after losing someone they love often comes from different sources. Without religious faith to use as a comfort blanket, non-believers tend to turn to these sources for a small sense of peace and calm following the death of someone dear to them.
1. Cherishing memories
Memories are more than just fleeting thoughts; they’re a way of keeping your loved one alive in your heart. Whether it’s looking at old photos, telling stories, or revisiting places they loved, memories can make them feel closer again. It’s a comforting reminder that while the person might be gone, the impact they had on your life and other people’s never truly fades.
2. Focusing on the legacy they left behind
The mark someone leaves on the world doesn’t vanish with them. Many find comfort in thinking about the positive changes their loved one made, whether through their actions, achievements, or the way they nurtured relationships. Knowing that their influence continues in some form can help create a sense of peace, even in their absence.
3. Connecting with people who knew them
Grief can often feel isolating, but sharing it with those who knew your loved one can make all the difference. Recounting old stories, crying together, and laughing at fond memories not only helps in processing your own grief but also brings comfort through mutual support. Sometimes, sharing your sorrow lightens the load and lets you feel like you’re not alone in it.
4. Honouring their loved one’s values
Living in a way that aligns with the values of someone you’ve lost is another way to feel connected to them. Whether it’s supporting causes they cared about or adopting some of their positive traits, carrying those things forward can be a meaningful tribute. It’s a way of ensuring their legacy continues, not just in memory but through action.
5. Finding solace in nature
Nature has this calming way of reminding us of the cycle of life — everything from the changing seasons to the growing plants seems to carry a message of renewal. For some, time spent walking in the woods, sitting by the ocean, or simply watching the stars offers a sense of peace that’s hard to find elsewhere. The beauty and tranquillity of nature can help put grief into perspective, offering comfort during difficult times.
6. Creating something in their memory
Grief doesn’t always fit into words, and for some, creating something tangible is the best way to express those heavy emotions. Whether it’s a scrapbook, a memorial tree, or even a song or poem, this creative outlet not only honours the memory of the person but helps channel that grief into something positive. It’s an act of remembrance, but also one of healing.
7. Focusing on the here and now
For those who don’t find peace in thoughts of an afterlife, focusing on the present moment can be especially comforting. It’s about appreciating the people and experiences you still have, using the grief of loss as a reminder to cherish life’s fleeting beauty. Living fully in the present doesn’t erase the sadness, but it helps you embrace the moment with more gratitude.
8. Finding meaning in shared humanity
Grief can feel like the loneliest experience, but when you step back and realise that everyone goes through loss, it can help put things in perspective. It’s comforting to know that your feelings are part of the broader human experience. Everyone, at some point, faces the challenge of letting go, and realising this shared experience can bring a sense of solidarity and comfort.
9. Talking openly about their grief
When you’re not leaning on prayer or religious rituals, talking about your grief can provide the same emotional release. Whether it’s with close friends, family, or a therapist, opening up about the pain you’re feeling helps to lighten the load. It’s not about looking for answers but finding a space where you can just express your emotions freely.
10. Leaning on rituals and routines
Even without a religious context, rituals can still offer comfort. Lighting a candle, visiting a special place, or holding an annual remembrance day creates a sense of continuity. These simple, familiar acts provide grounding and stability in a time of turbulence. It’s the little things that can sometimes give you the most comfort.
11. Turning to art, music, or literature
Art has this unique ability to express what words often can’t, and when grief feels overwhelming, these creative outlets can bring peace. Listening to music that resonates with your emotions, reading a poem that mirrors your sadness, or admiring art that reflects your journey through grief can offer comfort. Art doesn’t provide answers, but it does help you process feelings you might not have known how to express.
12. Finding purpose in helping other people
Sometimes, grief can inspire acts of kindness. Volunteering, supporting a friend in need, or even starting a charitable project in your loved one’s name can bring healing. Helping other people in your time of grief can shift the focus from your own pain and give you a sense of purpose. It reminds you of the connections between all of us and can turn the sadness into something positive.
13. Reflecting on the science of life
For those with a more scientific view of the world, there’s comfort in the understanding that life’s cycles are constant. The idea that nothing is truly lost, just transformed, can provide solace. Knowing that your loved one is part of the larger flow of energy in the universe can help you feel connected to them in a new way, even as they’re no longer physically present.
14. Allowing themselves to grieve fully
Instead of looking for external solutions or trying to find a quick fix, sometimes the best thing to do is just to let the grief unfold. Allowing yourself to feel all the emotions, whether sadness, anger, or even joy in remembering happy times, is part of the process. Healing takes time, and by giving yourself the space to grieve, you trust that eventually, peace will find its way back.
