14 Harmful Lies You’ve Convinced Yourself To Believe That Aren’t True

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Everyone lies to themselves sometimes, whether or not we’d like to admit it.

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Some of the lies we tell are harmless, like pretending we’ll “just have one biscuit.” But then there are the big, sneaky lies—the ones that subtly undermine our confidence, happiness, and even our potential. The funny thing is, we often don’t realise these lies aren’t true until someone else points them out. So, consider this your friendly nudge. Here are some of the more harmful lies you’ve likely convinced yourself to believe that aren’t true—and why it’s time to let them go.

1. “I’ll be happy when I achieve [insert goal here].”

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Whether it’s a promotion, losing weight, or finally owning that dream car, attaching happiness to a future goal is a trap. Happiness isn’t something that magically appears once you check off a milestone—it’s something you create now. Spoiler alert: when you get to “X,” you’ll probably already be thinking about “Y.”

2. “Everyone else has it all figured out.”

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From the outside, other people’s lives might look picture-perfect. But guess what? They’re probably winging it too. Social media is a highlight reel, not a reality show. If you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s polished performance, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

3. “It’s too late for me to start something new.”

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Whether you’re 25, 40, or 60, the idea that it’s “too late” is just an excuse. People start new careers, learn instruments, and find love at all ages. The only thing stopping you is the belief that you’ve somehow run out of time. Spoiler: you haven’t.

4. “I’m not good enough.”

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This is the ultimate self-sabotaging lie. Whether it’s about your skills, looks, or abilities, this thought keeps you stuck. The truth is, nobody feels “good enough” all the time. Confidence doesn’t mean knowing you’re perfect—it means showing up anyway.

5. “People don’t like me.”

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We’ve all had moments where we’ve convinced ourselves we’re unlikeable. But the reality is, people are far too busy worrying about their own insecurities to focus on yours. Plus, you don’t need everyone to like you—just your kind of people.

6. “I don’t have time for that.”

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Time is often less about having it and more about prioritising it. If something is truly important, you’ll find a way to make time. If not, it’s okay to admit it’s not a priority right now. Just stop pretending you don’t have control over your schedule.

7. “Success looks a certain way.”

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Success isn’t just about a high-paying job, a fancy car, or ticking off societal boxes. It can mean living authentically, being kind, or simply enjoying your life. If your version of success doesn’t fit someone else’s mould, that’s perfectly okay—just own it.

8. “I can’t do it because I might fail.”

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Here’s a secret: everyone who’s succeeded has failed at some point. Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the process. The only real failure is not trying, so take the leap and give yourself permission to learn along the way.

9. “I need to do everything perfectly.”

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Perfectionism is a sneaky lie that holds you back more than it pushes you forward. Life isn’t about getting everything “just right”; it’s about doing your best and enjoying the journey. Perfection is overrated—and honestly, kind of boring.

10. “If I ignore it, the problem will go away.”

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We’ve all tried to avoid awkward conversations or responsibilities, hoping they’ll magically resolve themselves. Spoiler alert: they don’t. Problems usually get bigger the longer you ignore them. Facing them head-on might be uncomfortable, but it’s always better in the long run.

11. “I should have it all together by now.”

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Says who? Life isn’t a straight line, and there’s no universal timeline for getting things “together.” Whether it’s your career, relationships, or personal growth, progress looks different for everyone. You’re allowed to figure things out at your own pace.

12. “I’ll never be as successful as so-and-so.”

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Comparing yourself to other people is a guaranteed way to feel terrible. Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish yours—it’s not a competition. Instead of comparing, focus on your own journey and celebrate your unique wins, no matter how small.

13. “It’s selfish to put myself first.”

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Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and neglecting your own needs benefits no one. Prioritising yourself means you’ll show up as a better version of you for other people, too.

14. “This is just the way I am.”

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Believing you can’t change is one of the biggest lies you can tell yourself. Growth is always possible, no matter your age, background, or situation. Change might be uncomfortable, but it’s what keeps life exciting and full of possibility.