Living with anxiety can be an overwhelming experience, and when no one else is around, it often becomes way more apparent.
While they might appear calm or composed to everyone else, solitude tends to reveal habits and thought patterns they might never share. These behaviours aren’t about being “weird” — they’re coping mechanisms that help manage stress, overthinking, and the constant hum of anxious energy. Here are just some of the patterns they lapse into when they’re on their own.
1. Replay conversations in their head
People with anxiety often replay past conversations, dissecting every word they said and how other people might have interpreted it. They worry about whether they came across well or unintentionally offended someone. Even if nothing went wrong, their brain keeps analysing just in case.
2. Make endless to-do lists
Anxiety can make everything feel overwhelming, so creating detailed to-do lists gives a sense of control. They’ll write and rewrite their plans, breaking tasks into tiny steps to make them feel more manageable. Checking items off the list becomes a small but satisfying win.
3. Avoid certain tasks out of fear
Sometimes, the thought of tackling a specific task feels too intimidating, even if it’s something small like replying to an email. They’ll procrastinate, telling themselves they’ll do it later, while secretly feeling guilty about putting it off. The cycle of avoidance can become its own source of stress.
4. Rehearse future conversations
Before making a phone call or meeting someone, they’ll rehearse what to say over and over. Practising different scenarios helps them feel prepared for any possible outcome. While this can be helpful, it often adds unnecessary pressure to get the interaction “just right.”
5. Create imaginary arguments
In their mind, they’ll replay old arguments or create hypothetical ones, imagining what they would say if the situation happened again. These mental debates are their way of feeling prepared, but they can spiral into unnecessary stress over things that might never happen.
6. Overthink their emotions
If they’re feeling off or upset, they’ll spend hours analysing why. Was it something they ate? Something someone said? Something they forgot to do? The constant self-analysis can make small feelings of discomfort feel much bigger than they are.
7. Scroll aimlessly to distract themselves
Social media or scrolling through random websites becomes a way to escape anxious thoughts. While it’s a temporary distraction, it doesn’t always help them feel better and can sometimes leave them feeling more drained or overwhelmed by the information they’ve consumed.
8. Prepare for the worst-case scenario
Anxiety has them mentally preparing for every disaster, no matter how unlikely. They’ll plan what they would do if a sudden emergency happened, like losing their job or dealing with a health crisis. While it might seem extreme, it’s their way of feeling ready for anything.
9. Double-check and triple-check things
Source: Unsplash They’ll go back to make sure the oven is off, the door is locked, or the email they sent didn’t have a typo. Even if they’ve already checked, the “what if” thoughts nag at them until they look again. It’s all about soothing the anxious voice in their head that says something could go wrong.
10. Talk themselves down from spirals
Source: Unsplash When their thoughts start spiralling, they’ll often have an internal pep talk to calm themselves down. It might sound like, “You’ve got this,” or “This isn’t as bad as it seems.” These self-soothing strategies are their way of regaining control when their mind feels like it’s running away from them.
11. Avoid checking messages out of fear
Source: Unsplash Even a harmless text or email can feel overwhelming to respond to, so they’ll ignore it for hours (or days) before finally opening it. The fear of what the message might say often outweighs the actual content, but it’s hard to convince themselves otherwise.
12. Research symptoms obsessively
Source: Unsplash If they feel a physical symptom, they’ll often head straight to the internet to look it up. What starts as trying to ease their worries can quickly lead to spirals of worst-case scenarios, leaving them even more anxious than before. This cycle can be hard to break, even when they know it’s not helpful.
13. Practise calming rituals
To manage their anxiety, they might engage in small, repetitive rituals like making tea, lighting candles, or cleaning their space. These activities provide a sense of routine and control, helping them feel grounded. Even small habits can bring much-needed moments of peace.
14. Plan imaginary scenarios for comfort
While they prepare for worst-case situations, they also imagine positive ones. Dreaming about an ideal holiday nailing a big presentation, or resolving a conflict can serve as a brief escape. These fantasies help them feel hopeful, even if they know they’re just daydreams.
15. Feel guilty for needing alone time
Even though being alone helps them recharge, they might feel guilty for not socialising or meeting expectations. They’ll worry about what other people think, even if no one’s judging them. The constant push and pull between needing solitude and fearing judgement adds another layer of stress.
