Instilling confidence in your child is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.
Empowering them to believe in themselves and their abilities will not only serve them well in the face of adversity, it’ll also encourage them to set and pursue goals, aim big, and be resilient in the face of setbacks — and that’s invaluable. Figuring out how to cement this quality in your kids might seem complicated, but it’s actually pretty easy — here’s what mums (and dads!) can do to make it happen.
1. Encourage them to try new things.
Stepping out of their comfort zone helps children discover their strengths and develop resilience. Whether it’s a new sport, a hobby, or trying their hand at cooking, mums can encourage exploration by showing excitement and support. Even if they stumble, remind them that trying is more important than perfection.
2. Celebrate effort, not just results.
Focusing on the process rather than the outcome teaches kids to value their hard work. Instead of only praising high grades or trophies, acknowledge the time and effort they put in. Comments like, “I’m proud of how much effort you gave that,” can go a long way in boosting their self-belief.
3. Be a positive role model.
Children learn by observing, so demonstrating confidence in yourself can inspire them to do the same. Show them how you handle challenges, embrace your quirks, and try new things. Your example teaches them that confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about believing in yourself.
4. Give them age-appropriate responsibilities.
Letting children take on small tasks, like setting the table or packing their school bag, builds a sense of independence and accomplishment. These moments, though small, show them that you trust their abilities, boosting their confidence in what they can achieve.
5. Listen to their opinions.
When kids feel heard, they learn that their thoughts matter. Whether they’re sharing an idea for family dinner or explaining why they prefer one story over another, actively listening and engaging shows respect. That validation helps them trust their voice and develop self-assurance.
6. Encourage them to problem-solve.
Resist the urge to swoop in and fix every issue. Instead, guide them to think through challenges and come up with solutions. Asking questions like, “What do you think we could try?” helps them build confidence in their decision-making abilities.
7. Don’t compare them to anyone else.
Comparisons can chip away at a child’s self-esteem, making them feel like they’re never enough. Instead, focus on their unique qualities and progress. Highlight their strengths by saying things like, “I love how creative you are!” to reinforce their individuality.
8. Let them make mistakes.
Mistakes are an essential part of learning and growth. When children see that it’s okay to mess up, they become less afraid of trying new things. Rather than scolding, use mistakes as teaching moments. A simple, “What can we learn from this?” shifts the focus to growth rather than failure.
9. Offer genuine praise.
Children can sense when praise is empty or overdone. Instead of vague compliments, be specific: “You did such a great job organising your desk!” That kind of feedback reinforces their efforts and shows that their actions are noticed and appreciated.
10. Create opportunities for them to succeed.
Giving your child tasks or activities tailored to their strengths helps build their confidence. Whether it’s assembling a simple puzzle or helping you bake a cake, each small success reinforces their belief in their abilities. Gradually increase the challenge to keep building their self-assurance.
11. Encourage positive self-talk.
Children can be their own harshest critics, so teaching them to reframe negative thoughts is key. Phrases like, “I’ll try again” or “I can figure this out” can replace defeatist thinking. Practising this skill together can help them build resilience and confidence over time.
12. Remind them they’re loved unconditionally.
The ultimate confidence booster is knowing they’re loved no matter what. Regularly remind your child that your love isn’t tied to their achievements or behaviour. A hug, a kind word, or a little note saying, “You’re amazing just the way you are,” can work wonders for their self-esteem.
