Narcissists have a way of making what’s meant to be a celebration feel like a total nightmare.
Their need for attention, control, and validation can overshadow happy occasions and turn them into draining experiences for everyone involved. The worst part is, they don’t seem to notice or care what they’re doing. If you’ve ever had a narcissist in your life, you’ll no doubt recognise all the little ways they manage to suck the joy out of everything by doing these things.
1. They make everything about themselves.
Whether it’s your birthday, a holiday, or a big achievement, a narcissist will find a way to centre themselves. They might share stories about their own successes or complain about their problems. Instead of celebrating you, the spotlight shifts to them, making your special moment feel diminished.
2. They create unnecessary drama.
When everyone should be having a good time, a narcissist might stir up arguments or create chaos. They seem to thrive on conflict and know how to derail the mood. All that drama draws attention away from the happiness of the occasion and keeps everyone focused on their issues.
3. They give backhanded compliments.
Instead of genuine praise, they offer compliments with hidden jabs like, “I’m surprised you pulled this off!” or “You did well, considering your usual luck.” These remarks can leave you feeling deflated and second-guessing yourself. They make it hard to enjoy your achievements fully.
4. They downplay your achievements.
If you’re celebrating a success, a narcissist might say, “It’s not that big of a deal” or “Anyone could have done that.” Their need to feel superior stops them from giving you credit. Their belittling behaviour turns your excitement into doubt or frustration.
5. They disappear when they’re not the centre of attention.
If a narcissist isn’t receiving the spotlight, they might suddenly vanish or sulk in the background. Their withdrawal creates a subtle tension that distracts from the celebration. You end up worrying about them instead of enjoying the occasion.
6. They give gifts with strings attached.
A narcissist might give you a gift, but it often comes with expectations or conditions. Later, they may use it to manipulate you by saying, “After everything I’ve done for you…” Their “generosity” feels tainted, making it hard to appreciate the gesture.
7. They interrupt important moments.
During key moments — like a speech, toast, or special announcement — they might interrupt with a comment or story of their own. The shift pulls focus back onto them and away from the joy of the occasion. Their interruptions feel calculated and disrespectful.
8. They criticise the event planning.
Instead of enjoying the celebration, they nitpick the details. Whether it’s the food, music, or decorations, they find fault in everything. Their constant criticism dampens the mood and makes you feel like your efforts weren’t good enough.
9. They act like they’re doing you a favour by attending.
They might say things like, “I had to rearrange my whole schedule to be here.” Their presence feels less like a supportive gesture and more like a burden you should be grateful for. That attitude turns their attendance into something that steals your happiness.
10. They compete with your happiness.
If you’re excited about a milestone, they might respond with a story about their own bigger or better achievement. They can’t stand you being the focus of attention, so they try to outshine you. The non-stop competition undermines your joy and leaves you feeling overshadowed.
11. They play the victim.
Even during happy occasions, they might complain about their problems or hardships. This tactic shifts sympathy and attention back to them. Your celebration becomes an opportunity for them to soak up support, making you feel like your joy doesn’t matter.
12. They start arguments out of nowhere.
When things are going smoothly, they might pick a fight over something trivial. These sudden arguments create tension and spoil the mood. Their need for control or attention overrides the happiness of the moment, leaving everyone frustrated.
13. They dismiss your feelings of happiness.
If you express happiness, they might respond with indifference or a dismissive comment like, “Why are you so excited?” Their lack of enthusiasm can make you feel silly for celebrating. Their refusal to acknowledge your feelings drains the joy out of the occasion.
14. They sabotage plans last minute.
Right before an important event, they might cancel, refuse to participate, or create obstacles. Their sabotage forces you to deal with stress or disappointment when you should be celebrating. That manipulation ensures that the occasion doesn’t go smoothly unless it benefits them.
