Everyone experiences loneliness at times, but if it’s a constant feeling, it can be absolutely devastating.
It’s easy to get caught up in excuses, justifications, or downright lies about why you’re feeling so isolated. The truth is, it’s not always down to one single thing, and the stories we tell ourselves often make things worse. If you’ve ever told yourself these things, you’re lying to yourself and need to change the narrative. Only then will you start to feel a bit better.
1. “No one wants to be around me.”
This harsh self-criticism is often more about how you’re feeling than reality. The truth is, people probably do want to spend time with you—they just might not realise how much you’d appreciate it. Sometimes, reaching out can break that cycle of doubt.
2. “Everyone else is too busy for me.”
While life can get hectic, assuming everyone else is too busy to care is unfair to both you and them. Often, people don’t even realise you’re feeling lonely, and a simple text could be the nudge that brings them closer.
3. “I’m better off alone anyway.”
This is the classic defensive lie that loneliness loves to whisper. While alone time can be refreshing, convincing yourself you don’t need anyone can lead to a deeper sense of isolation. It’s okay to need connection—it doesn’t make you weak.
4. “People only hang out with me out of pity.”
Source: Unsplash This self-deprecating thought isn’t just untrue—it’s unfair to the people who genuinely care about you. The relationships in your life exist because people like having you around, even if your loneliness tries to convince you otherwise.
5. “I’ll feel better if I just stay home.”
While a night in can sometimes help, using this as an excuse to avoid plans altogether might be making the problem worse. Getting out and engaging with other people—even when it feels hard—often lifts your mood more than staying in ever could.
6. “If they really cared, they’d reach out first.”
It’s easy to feel like the burden of reaching out shouldn’t fall on you, but friendships go both ways. Waiting for other people to make the first move might leave you feeling lonelier than necessary. A quick message can start the connection you’re craving.
7. “I don’t have anything interesting to offer.”
Believing you’re boring or unworthy of attention is a lie loneliness loves to tell. The truth is, everyone has unique qualities and stories that make them interesting. Sharing a little of yourself with people can reveal just how much you have to offer.
8. “Nobody understands me.”
Feeling misunderstood is tough, but assuming nobody gets you can isolate you further. The truth is, many people probably relate to your experiences more than you realise—you just need to let them in. Vulnerability often builds stronger connections.
9. “It’s too late to make new friends.”
Source: Unsplash This is a lie loneliness uses to keep you stuck, but there’s no age limit on making meaningful connections. Whether it’s through work, hobbies, or simply being open to conversation, it’s never too late to find your people.
10. “I’m not likeable enough.”
Source: Unsplash Self-doubt can make you question your worth, but this lie couldn’t be further from the truth. Likeability isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being authentic. Showing up as yourself is more than enough to attract the right people.
11. “I’m too awkward to socialise.”
Everyone feels awkward sometimes—it’s part of being human. Believing this lie only keeps you from building connections. Most people don’t notice or care as much as you think they do, and embracing your quirks can make you more relatable.
12. “Socialising is just too exhausting.”
While socialising can be tiring, especially for introverts, loneliness often makes it seem more draining than it really is. Taking small steps, like meeting one friend for coffee, can make connection feel manageable and even energising.
13. “Everyone already has their group of friends.”
It can feel like everyone else is set when it comes to friendships, but that’s rarely the case. Many people are open to making new connections—they just need someone to take the first step. There’s always room for one more.
14. “It’s safer not to trust anyone.”
After being hurt, it’s tempting to keep your guard up, but this lie keeps you isolated. Trusting people takes time, but it’s the foundation of meaningful relationships. Letting people in doesn’t have to happen all at once—it’s okay to take it slow.
15. “Loneliness is just my normal.”
This lie convinces you that things will never change, but loneliness isn’t a permanent state. Small, intentional steps—whether it’s reaching out to someone or joining a new activity—can slowly shift your reality. Connection is always possible, no matter how distant it feels.
