It’s never intentional, but you might be guilty of certain behaviours that make it easy for that make it easy for people to push your boundaries, take advantage of, or undermine you.
Breaking these patterns isn’t about being harsh or defensive — it’s about protecting yourself. If you want to stop being an easy target, it’s time to stop doing these things. When you demand respect and consideration, you’ll start getting a lot more of it — and that’s what you deserve!
1. Apologising for everything
Constantly saying “sorry” when you haven’t done anything wrong makes you seem unsure of yourself. It gives people the impression that you’re willing to take blame even when it’s not yours to take. Save your apologies for when they’re genuinely needed, and let go of the habit of over-apologising.
2. Saying “yes” when you want to say “no”
If you always agree to things you don’t want to do, people will keep pushing your limits. Saying “no” doesn’t make you rude — it makes you honest. Start practising small refusals, and remember that your time and energy are yours to manage. You don’t owe anyone your constant availability.
3. Avoiding eye contact
Looking down or away can make you seem unsure or hesitant, which some people might take advantage of. Confident eye contact shows you’re engaged and assertive. You don’t need to stare anyone down, but meeting someone’s gaze helps you project self-assurance.
4. Laughing off disrespect
When someone makes a rude comment and you laugh it off, it sends the message that you’re okay with being treated poorly. You don’t have to start an argument, but you *can* calmly call it out. A simple “That wasn’t funny” or “I didn’t appreciate that” can set a clear boundary.
5. Avoiding confrontation at all costs
Dodging confrontation might keep things smooth in the short term, but it invites people to walk all over you. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean being aggressive — it means addressing issues directly when they arise. You’re allowed to speak up when something feels wrong.
6. Over-explaining yourself
If you feel the need to justify every decision or boundary, it can make you seem unsure of yourself. You don’t have to give a detailed explanation for every “no” or every choice you make. Keep it simple and confident — your reasons are yours, and they’re valid.
7. Ignoring your gut instincts
Your intuition is there for a reason. If something feels off, don’t ignore it just to keep the peace. Trusting your gut helps you recognise when someone’s behaviour is crossing a line. Acting on that instinct helps you protect yourself from being taken advantage of.
8. Seeking everyone’s approval
Trying to please everyone makes you vulnerable to being manipulated. When you constantly look for validation, some people might use it to control you. Focus on what *you* want and believe, rather than chasing other people’s approval. It’s impossible to please everyone anyway.
9. Letting other people make decisions for you
Giving up control over your choices makes it easy for other people to steer your life. Whether it’s small decisions or big ones, being assertive about what you want shows you’re not an easy target. Trust your judgment — your voice matters in your own life.
10. Brushing off your own needs
Putting everyone else first while ignoring your own needs sends the message that you’re willing to be overlooked. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. Prioritising your needs shows people that your well-being matters just as much as theirs.
11. Staying silent when someone crosses the line
When someone crosses a boundary and you stay quiet, it tells them they can do it again. Speaking up doesn’t have to be confrontational; it can be as simple as saying, “That’s not okay with me.” Your boundaries deserve to be respected, and enforcing them is your right.
12. Tolerating toxic people
Keeping people around who constantly undermine, manipulate, or disrespect you just reinforces the idea that you’re okay with being treated poorly. It’s hard to let go of toxic relationships, but distancing yourself shows self-respect. You deserve better company.
13. Downplaying your achievements
When you constantly minimise your successes, it opens the door for everyone else to do the same. Owning your accomplishments doesn’t make you arrogant — it makes you confident. Be proud of what you’ve done and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
