Breakups are hard, but how someone handles them says a lot about their emotional maturity.
While some people choose respect and honesty, others take a less graceful route. Sure, it’s tempting to give your new ex a piece of your mind, especially if they did you wrong (even if only in your own head). However, it’s rarely very satisfying, and it doesn’t change how things have panned out, so most of us think better of it. In fact, only an immature person would do these things when ending a relationship.
1. Ghosting completely
Instead of having an honest conversation, they just disappear. No calls, no texts, no explanations. Ghosting avoids discomfort, but it leaves the other person confused and hurt. It’s a way of dodging responsibility and closure, which is the opposite of mature communication.
2. Breaking up over text
Sending a breakup message instead of talking face-to-face shows a lack of respect for the relationship. It’s an easy way out that avoids confrontation, but it feels cold and dismissive. Important conversations deserve more than a few typed words, even if they’re hard to have.
3. Blaming everything on the other person
Instead of acknowledging their part in the breakup, they pin the entire failure on their ex. This finger-pointing shields their ego but shows a lack of self-awareness. Healthy relationships (and breakups) require both people to take responsibility, not just deflect blame.
4. Publicly bad-mouthing their ex
Posting insults or sharing private details about their ex online or with mutual friends is immature and petty. It might feel like revenge, but it only reflects poorly on them. Respecting the privacy of what was once a shared bond shows maturity, even after it ends.
5. Immediately flaunting a new relationship
Jumping into a new relationship and parading it in front of their ex is a classic immature move. It’s often done to make the other person jealous or prove they’ve “moved on.” Instead of focusing on healing, they’re performing for an audience — and it rarely ends well.
6. Trying to make their ex jealous
Source: Unsplash Posting cryptic messages, exaggerated social media updates, or hinting at a fabulous new life is a way to get a reaction. It’s a sign they’re not over the relationship and are still looking for validation. Mature people focus on moving forward, not trying to score points.
7. Spreading rumours or lies
Starting or spreading false stories about their ex to damage their reputation is spiteful and childish. It shows they can’t let go without creating drama. Taking the high road — even when hurt — is a sign of true emotional maturity.
8. Refusing to return belongings
Holding onto their ex’s stuff out of spite or as a power move is immature. It’s an attempt to maintain control or delay closure. Respecting each other’s property and returning things promptly helps both people move on more easily.
9. Constantly playing the victim
Acting like they’re the only one who suffered in the breakup — regardless of the truth — is a way to get sympathy. While breakups are painful, exaggerating their role as the victim prevents them from taking accountability. Balanced perspectives show maturity.
10. Dragging mutual friends into the drama
Forcing mutual friends to take sides or relaying messages through them creates unnecessary tension. This behaviour puts other people in uncomfortable positions and shows a lack of respect for friendships. Mature people handle breakups directly, not through intermediaries.
11. Ignoring boundaries
Constantly texting, calling, or showing up uninvited after the breakup shows a lack of respect for boundaries. It’s usually rooted in the refusal to accept the relationship is over. Respecting personal space is key to moving on in a healthy way.
12. Using social media to air grievances
Posting vague, dramatic quotes or rants about their ex online is a passive-aggressive way to seek attention. It might feel cathartic in the moment, but it makes them look immature. Processing feelings privately or with close friends shows more emotional control.
13. Refusing to give closure
Leaving things open-ended or providing no real explanation for the breakup is a sign of immaturity. It avoids accountability and leaves the other person stuck with unanswered questions. Closure, even if uncomfortable, is a mark of respect and maturity.
14. Trying to “win” the breakup
Competing to see who moves on first or who seems happier is an immature way to handle post-breakup life. Breakups aren’t a contest. Focusing on personal growth and healing is far more rewarding than trying to “win” something that doesn’t need to be won.
15. Clinging to old arguments
Rehashing the same old fights or bringing up past grievances after the breakup is a way to avoid moving on. This keeps both people stuck in a negative loop. Letting go of old arguments helps clear the path for healing and closure.
16. Refusing to acknowledge the breakup
Acting like the breakup didn’t happen or pretending everything is fine shows denial. This refusal to face reality prevents growth and healing. Accepting the end of the relationship, even if it hurts, is the mature way to move forward.
