Being the go-to person for support is a beautiful thing—it shows that people trust you and value your presence in their lives.
But let’s be honest, always being everyone’s shoulder to cry on can bring up a mix of emotions. It’s rewarding, sure, but it can also be exhausting, frustrating, or even a little isolating at times. Here are 15 feelings you might recognise if you’re always the one holding space for other people.
1. Pride in being trusted.
It feels good to know that people turn to you in their time of need. Being the person everyone confides in is a sign of trust, and that trust can give you a sense of pride. You know that your ability to listen and provide comfort makes a real difference in their lives.
2. Exhaustion from emotional labour
As much as you care about the people around you, constantly taking on their emotional burdens can leave you drained. It’s a lot of energy to hold space for other people, especially when it feels like there’s no downtime to recharge. Emotional exhaustion can creep up before you even realise it, leaving you feeling stretched too thin.
3. A sense of fulfilment
Helping people through tough times can be incredibly rewarding. Knowing you’ve made someone’s day a little easier or given them the strength to keep going is deeply fulfilling. It reminds you that your empathy and kindness are some of your greatest strengths.
4. Frustration when boundaries are crossed
While it’s great to be there for people, it can be frustrating when people start expecting your help 24/7. If you’re always the one they turn to without considering your time or needs, it can feel like your boundaries are being overlooked. Setting boundaries is hard, but it’s vital for maintaining your emotional balance.
5. A little bit of resentment
It’s not easy to admit, but sometimes you might feel resentful when you’re the one doing all the emotional heavy lifting. If the support isn’t reciprocated, or if you feel taken for granted, that resentment can quietly build. It’s a reminder that relationships work best when there’s give and take.
6. Isolation from not sharing your own struggles
When you’re the listener, it’s easy to feel like there’s no space for your own feelings. If you’re always giving and rarely receiving, it can feel isolating, as though you’re expected to have it all together all the time. The isolation can lead to bottling up emotions, which only adds to the weight you carry.
7. Pressure to always have the right words
You might feel like people expect you to say just the right thing to make everything better. That kind of pressure can be overwhelming, especially when you don’t always have the perfect answer or solution. Sometimes, you might wish you could take a step back and let someone else take the lead.
8. Empathy that runs deep
Source: Unsplash Your ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is likely why people gravitate toward you. Feeling someone else’s pain so deeply shows how much you care, even if it can leave you emotionally wiped out at times. Your deep empathy is both a gift and a challenge to navigate.
9. Gratitude for strong connections
Being the shoulder to cry on often means you have deeply meaningful relationships. Knowing you’ve built that level of trust with other people can be incredibly heartwarming and remind you of the value of those connections. It’s proof that you’re making a difference in the lives of the people you care about.
10. Guilt when you need space
Taking a step back to care for yourself might make you feel guilty, as though you’re letting someone down. But even the most supportive people need time to breathe, and it’s okay to prioritise your own well-being. Reminding yourself that you can’t pour from an empty cup helps ease the guilt.
11. A fear of being overburdened
Sometimes, you might worry that one more call, one more vent session, or one more crisis will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Your fear isn’t selfish—it’s a sign that you’re nearing your limits and need to take care of yourself, too. Recognising this early can help you set boundaries before burnout hits.
12. Gratification when you see progress
It’s incredibly satisfying to see someone you’ve supported come out the other side stronger or happier. Knowing you played a role in their growth or healing makes all the effort feel worthwhile. Those moments of progress remind you why being there for people matters so much.
13. Frustration when advice is ignored
It can be tough to watch someone repeatedly make choices that you know aren’t good for them, especially after you’ve offered advice. While you want to help, it’s important to remember that people ultimately make their own decisions. Learning to let go of what you can’t control helps ease the frustration.
14. Pride in your emotional strength
Being the person everyone relies on requires a lot of emotional resilience, and that’s something to be proud of. Your ability to stay calm, listen, and offer support is a testament to your strength, even when it feels like a heavy load. Recognising this strength in yourself can be empowering.
15. A longing to be supported yourself
Sometimes, all you want is for someone to do for you what you do for them: listen, empathise, and offer support without judgment. It’s not selfish to want that—you deserve it just as much as anyone else. Being vulnerable enough to ask for support when you need it is just as important as giving it.
