Just because they’ve moved out and started paying their own bills doesn’t mean you’ve lost your talent for making your kids cringe.
In fact, you might have upgraded your embarrassment game without even realising it. Here’s how you’re still managing to make your grown children want to hide under a rock. You don’t necessarily need to change your behaviour, but being more aware of it would likely be much appreciated!
1. You overshare on social media.
Yes, that baby photo of them in the bathtub is adorable, but no, their professional colleagues don’t need to see it. You’re tagging them in every throwback Thursday post, commenting on all their photos with unnecessary details about their childhood, and sharing health updates about their personal lives that the whole internet definitely doesn’t need to know. Your Facebook feed has become their personal nightmare.
2. You comment on their partner’s posts.
Every time their significant other posts something, you’re there with your “future in-law” commentary. You’re friend requesting all their partners’ relatives, joining their family groups, and basically planning the wedding before the third date. Your enthusiasm is scaring off potential matches faster than bad breath.
3. You call their workplace repeatedly.
Source: Unsplash They haven’t answered your text from an hour ago, so naturally you’re calling their office. You’ve memorised their work schedule and somehow know their colleague’s names better than they do. The receptionist now greets you by name, and not in a good way.
4. You try to use their slang.
You’re dropping “bet” and “no cap” into conversations with their friends, completely misusing “slay” in professional settings, and trying to explain TikTok trends to their boss at company events. Your attempts to stay hip are making them consider witness protection programs.
5. You send daily health reminders.
Every news article about vitamin D deficiency becomes a group text emergency. You forward WebMD articles at 3 AM, demand updates about their fibre intake, and send unsolicited links about the dangers of their coffee consumption. Medical professionals get less health scrutiny than your adult child.
6. You meddle in their home decor.
Every visit involves rearranging their furniture without asking. You’re sending them links to curtains they don’t need, criticising their choice of throw pillows, and trying to sneak your old decorative plates into their kitchen. Their flat has become your personal renovation project.
7. You give unsolicited career advice.
Despite knowing nothing about their industry, you’re full of professional wisdom. You’re sending them job listings from completely unrelated fields, suggesting they “just talk to the CEO,” and questioning their perfectly reasonable career choices. Your LinkedIn activity keeps them up at night.
8. You dress inappropriately at their events.
You show up to their professional gatherings in your “fun” clothes, wear matching family T-shirts to their birthday dinners, and insist on bringing your novelty accessories to serious occasions. Your sequinned jacket has its own reputation at their office now.
9. You explain their job to them.
After reading one article about their industry, you’re suddenly an expert. You’re sending them tips about basic tasks they’ve been doing for years, explaining their own job to their colleagues, and correcting their terminology at networking events. Your crash course in their profession has become their professional liability.
10. You show up unannounced.
Surprise visits are your speciality, especially during important meetings or romantic evenings. You use your spare key for “wellness checks” when they don’t answer texts fast enough, and somehow always appear when they’re hosting friends. Their doorbell has become a stress trigger.
11. You parent their pets.
Their dog now has a wardrobe you’ve selected, their cat receives daily video calls, and you’re sending care packages to their goldfish. You’ve appointed yourself grandparent to their pets and created social media accounts for each one. The local pet store knows you by name.
12. You criticise their spending.
Every purchase becomes a financial intervention. You’re analysing their grocery receipts, questioning their streaming subscriptions, and sending them budget spreadsheets they never asked for. Their coffee habit has become your personal crusade.
13. You give inappropriate gifts.
You’re still gifting them childish items at office celebrations, sending care packages full of embarrassing childhood memorabilia to their workplace, and insisting on bringing their baby items to their new flat. Their coworkers now have an entire collection of stories about your present choices.
14. You overdo holidays.
Every holiday becomes a full production, complete with coordinated outfits and lengthy photoshoots. You’re decorating their flat without permission, creating elaborate traditions they can’t escape, and guilt-tripping them about missing the annual family Easter egg hunt. Their calendar has become a minefield of mandatory festivities.
15. You remind them about marriage.
Every conversation somehow circles back to their relationship status. You’re sending them articles about fertility timelines, pointing out random couples with babies, and asking about their dating life in front of everyone. Family gatherings have become relationship interrogations.
16. You talk about them to strangers.
The grocery store cashier knows their entire life story, you’re showing their photos to random people in waiting rooms, and somehow their childhood achievements come up in your dental appointments. Your proud parent routine has gone from endearing to mortifying.
