If you’re a woman who’s sometimes struggled to get a man to actually listen to you, you know what a challenge it can be.
Whether it’s a male colleague who thinks he knows everything by virtue of being born male, or a romantic partner who believes he should wear the pants and call all the shots, making sure your voice is hard and respected can feel like an uphill battle. However, smart women know exactly the things to say to get men to hear them out.
1. “Can I get your opinion on something?”
This one’s a classic because it works. By asking for his opinion, you make him feel involved and valued, setting the stage for a two-way conversation. People love feeling like their insights matter, and he’ll likely lean in and pay attention.
2. “I really appreciate when you…”
Start with a little appreciation, and you’ll have his attention right away. People naturally respond well to positive reinforcement, and leading with what you appreciate about him makes him more receptive to whatever comes next. It’s a gentle way to get your point across.
3. “Here’s what would be really helpful…”
Instead of dropping hints or hoping he’ll figure it out, just tell him what would be helpful. This keeps things clear without sounding demanding. It’s direct but friendly, letting him know exactly how he can lend a hand or make things better.
4. “I’d love your help with…”
People like to feel needed, and this taps into that desire. By saying you’d love his help, you’re showing that you value his support, and you’re inviting him to contribute. It’s hard not to listen when someone’s genuinely asking for your help!
5. “I feel…”
Starting with “I feel” rather than “You always” or “You never” keeps things from sounding accusatory. This way, you’re just sharing how you feel, and it gives him a chance to understand your perspective without feeling defensive. It makes a big difference in how he responds.
6. “You know what I love about you?”
Try this one out, and watch how fast he tunes in! Starting with something sweet and positive puts him in a good mood and makes him more open to listening. When someone knows they’re appreciated, they’re much more likely to stay engaged in the conversation.
7. “I’d like to know your thoughts on this…”
This is great for opening up a meaningful conversation. By inviting his thoughts, you’re showing that you value his perspective. He’ll feel respected and involved, making him more likely to engage with what you’re saying.
8. “I’ve noticed that…”
This is a subtle way to bring up an issue without putting him on the defensive. Starting with “I’ve noticed” makes it feel more observational and less accusatory. You’re simply sharing something you’ve observed, which makes it easier for him to listen without feeling judged.
9. “How do you feel about…?”
This one’s a winner because it’s all about opening up a dialogue. Asking how he feels shows that you’re interested in his perspective and that you care about his side of things. When he knows you’re truly curious, he’ll be more inclined to open up and listen to you, too.
10. “Let’s figure this out together.”
This takes the pressure off by framing things as a team effort. Instead of you vs. him, it’s both of you vs. the issue. It feels collaborative and makes him feel like you’re both on the same side, which encourages him to be more receptive.
11. “Here’s why this matters to me…”
If you want him to take something seriously, explain why it’s important to you. When he understands why it matters, he’s more likely to pay attention and respect what you’re saying. This adds a personal touch and brings a little heart into the conversation.
12. “Can we talk about this when we’re both relaxed?”
Timing is everything, and this shows you’re thoughtful about when to bring things up. By choosing a relaxed moment to talk, you’re more likely to have his full attention, and he’ll appreciate that you’re being considerate of his mood and headspace.
13. “I get where you’re coming from, but…”
Source: Unsplash Starting with “I get where you’re coming from” lets him know you’re making an effort to understand his side. It softens the “but” that follows, making him more open to hearing your perspective. A little empathy goes a long way in keeping conversations respectful and balanced.
14. “Can I share what’s on my mind?”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, just asking if you can share opens the door to a great conversation. It’s a polite way to let him know you’d like his attention, and it shows you’re giving him a choice to engage. Most people appreciate the courtesy and will listen in return.
15. “This is really important to me.”
If something truly matters, let him know. Using this tells him to tune in because it’s not just small talk—it’s important. When he knows it means a lot to you, he’ll be more likely to listen closely and give it the attention it deserves.
16. “I appreciate that you listened.”
It’s amazing how well a little gratitude works. After you’ve had a conversation, acknowledging that he listened makes him feel appreciated and respected. It also encourages him to keep being a good listener in the future because he knows it means something to you.
17. “Thanks for hearing me out.”
Similar to the previous phrase, this one wraps up the conversation on a positive note. Saying “thanks for hearing me out” shows you appreciate his attention, and it leaves the door open for more conversations in the future. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way.
