You’d think that by the time you married a man, you’d be certain you could trust him.
While hopefully that’s the case, it isn’t always. Maybe he started out honest and reliable, but lately, his behaviour has changed and now, you’re not so sure. It’s hard to say how he might betray you, but it feels almost inevitable that it might happen. Unfortunately, if he says any of these things to you regularly, you’re probably right to be sceptical of him now.
1. “You’re just being paranoid again.”
This classic deflection attempts to make you doubt your own instincts and observations. Instead of addressing your concerns, he turns them back on you by suggesting you’re the one with the problem. He knows your intuition is picking up on something real, so he tries to weaken your trust in yourself. Questioning your perception protects his actions.
2. “I was just helping out a friend.”
The vagueness of this explanation leaves out pretty important details about who, what, where, and why. He presents a noble motive to mask questionable behaviour. When pressed for specifics, the story often changes or becomes defensive. The incomplete narrative hides what he doesn’t want you to know.
3. “Work is really intense right now.”
While work stress is real, this becomes his universal excuse for suspicious behaviour, changed patterns, and emotional distance. The explanation is convenient because it’s hard to verify and makes questioning seem unsupportive. Work becomes the shield that deflects deeper examination of his actions.
4. “Why do you need to know every little thing?”
He frames your normal desire for information as controlling or excessive. Basic questions about his whereabouts or activities get painted as interrogations. Such a defensive response to simple inquiries suggests he’s hiding information he knows would upset you. Your right to know becomes twisted into something unreasonable.
5. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
He diminishes your concerns to avoid addressing them, making you feel foolish for caring. Your emotional response gets labelled as overreaction while the actual issue goes unaddressed. This minimisation technique keeps you questioning your judgment rather than his behaviour.
6. “I didn’t think it was important to mention.”
This explains away omissions that later surface through other channels. He suggests the information wasn’t relevant when he actually made a conscious choice to withhold it. The pattern of “forgetting” to mention significant details reveals intentional filtering of information.
7. “You know how my memory is.”
Poor memory becomes a convenient cover for inconsistent stories or forgotten lies. He selectively “forgets” things that might cause problems, while remembering other details perfectly. His selective amnesia provides plausible deniability for discrepancies in his accounts.
8. “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”
He flips the script by acting wounded when confronted with valid concerns. Your distrust becomes the problem, rather than the behaviour that caused it. Emotional manipulation aims to make you feel guilty for questioning him. Trust becomes a weapon used against your instincts.
9. “Everyone else trusts me completely.”
He uses other people’s supposed trust to invalidate your doubts, suggesting you’re the only one who sees problems. His comparison implies there’s something wrong with your perspective rather than his actions. External validation becomes a shield against personal accountability.
10. “You’re reading too much into things.”
This dismisses your ability to interpret situations and understand context. He suggests you’re creating meaning that isn’t there rather than acknowledging your observations might be accurate. Your analytical skills get painted as overthinking to discourage deeper examination.
11. “It’s not what it looks like.”
The classic phrase appears when evidence contradicts his story, promising an explanation that often becomes more complicated than the obvious truth. He expects you to accept increasingly unlikely scenarios rather than acknowledge the apparent reality. The simple explanation gets buried under elaborate justifications.
12. “You’re the only one for me.”
His reassurance often comes unprompted or during suspicious periods, attempting to reinforce commitment without actual faithfulness. The words become a smokescreen for actions that prove otherwise. Empty declarations substitute for genuine loyalty.
13. “Let’s not talk about this now.”
He perpetually postpones important conversations, promising better timing that never arrives. Critical discussions get delayed until the issue feels too old to address. Avoidance becomes his strategy for never having to answer difficult questions.
14. “Stop trying to control everything.”
Basic requests for honesty or information get framed as attempts to control him. He presents transparency as oppression rather than a foundation of trust. Your desire for truth becomes portrayed as a character flaw rather than a reasonable expectation.
15. “I would never hurt you like that.”
This absolute declaration often precedes or follows exactly that type of hurt. He presents himself as incapable of the very actions he’s hiding. The statement becomes a shield against suspicion rather than a genuine promise.
