Whether they mean to or not, men often do and say things that make women feel terrible about themselves.
Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a romantic partner, these behaviours are bound to make the women in your life feel unheard, misunderstood, and possibly like you don’t care about them. The insecurity can eat them alive, so try to be a bit more thoughtful in your behaviour. Here are some bad habits to get rid of immediately.
1. Not checking in emotionally
If you’re not asking her how she’s feeling from time to time, it can leave her feeling invisible. It doesn’t have to be a big, deep conversation every time—a simple check-in now and then shows her you care. Small gestures can go a long way in keeping things connected.
2. Bringing up the past too often
Mentioning an ex now and then might seem harmless, but if it comes up regularly, it can feel like you’re not fully present in the relationship. Focusing on past relationships can stir up old doubts and make her question her value now. Better to leave the past where it belongs and create new memories together.
3. Bottling up your emotions
When you’re holding back and not sharing what’s on your mind, it can leave her guessing. If she’s always wondering what’s going on with you, it’s easy for self-doubt to creep in. Being a bit more open—even about the little stuff—helps build trust and keeps things grounded.
4. Calling her concerns “overthinking”
Dismissing her worries as “overthinking” can come across as cold or uncaring. When she’s sharing something that’s bothering her, she’s looking for a bit of understanding. Often, just listening and validating what she’s feeling is enough to make her feel heard.
5. Holding back on affection in public
Maybe you’re not into big public displays, but if you’re always reserved about it, it can start to feel like you’re hiding the relationship. Simple things—a handhold, a quick hug—can make her feel valued and loved. It’s often those little gestures that mean the most.
6. Making casual remarks about other women
Throwaway comments about other women might feel harmless, but they can sometimes come off like a comparison. Talking about someone’s looks or style can make her wonder if she measures up. Focusing on what you appreciate about her goes a long way in keeping things comfortable.
7. Being secretive with your phone
Turning your phone away or stepping out to take calls might seem minor, but it can raise doubts. Being open, even if there’s nothing to hide, helps keep her from feeling insecure. A bit of transparency here can make her feel more secure in the relationship.
8. Teasing or joking a bit too much
Playful teasing is fun, but when it hits on personal stuff, it can cross a line. Joking about her appearance or habits, especially if it’s a recurring thing, can hurt more than you realise. Keeping humour kind and respectful keeps the fun going without hitting a sore spot.
9. Focusing mostly on looks
Compliments are great, but if they’re always focused on appearance, it can feel like that’s all that matters. Showing appreciation for her personality, skills, or achievements keeps things more genuine and balanced. It reminds her she’s valued for so much more than her looks.
10. Skipping over her achievements
If her accomplishments go unnoticed or uncelebrated, it can make her feel like they don’t matter to you. Recognising her successes—big or small—shows pride and support. Acknowledging what she’s achieved builds mutual respect and makes her feel truly seen.
11. Keeping conversations shallow
If every chat stays on surface-level topics, it can start to feel a bit superficial. Opening up a bit more and sharing real thoughts brings a sense of closeness and lets you both feel more connected. A bit of depth in conversation often lays the foundation for a more meaningful relationship.
12. Refusing to talk about the future
If you’re always dodging future plans, it can leave her wondering about your commitment. Even chatting about small things you both want to do together down the line gives a sense of stability. A shared idea of the future helps build trust and a stronger bond.
13. Giving too much attention to other people
If you’re often complimenting other people or paying a lot of attention elsewhere, it can leave her feeling a bit sidelined. Focusing that energy on her can help her feel appreciated and secure. Knowing she’s a priority is reassuring and strengthens your connection.
14. Dismissing her ideas
When her thoughts or suggestions get brushed off, it can feel invalidating. Taking her input seriously and making space for her opinions shows that you value her in the relationship. Listening closely and respecting her thoughts encourages open communication and partnership.
