When someone is condescending or patronising towards you, it’s more about them than you, but that doesn’t make it okay.
They’re talking to you like an idiot because they think you are one, and their behaviour makes that clear. Here are 17 subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs someone’s treating you like you’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Spotting these can help you stand your ground and demand the respect you deserve.
1. They explain simple concepts to you… repeatedly.
It’s like they think you were born yesterday. They break down basic ideas as if you’re a toddler learning about shapes. “You see, a phone is used for calling people…” Yeah, thanks for that groundbreaking insight, Captain Obvious. Their constant simplification is their not-so-subtle way of saying they think your brain runs on dial-up.
2. They finish your sentences… incorrectly.
You start to say something, and they jump in, confidently finishing your thought. The kicker? They’re way off base. It’s as if they can’t fathom that you might actually have a coherent idea in your head. This move is doubly insulting — they’re both interrupting you and assuming you’re going to say something dumb.
3. They “dumb down” their vocabulary when talking to you.
Suddenly, the person who was just using words like “juxtaposition” in another conversation is talking to you like they’re reading a children’s book. It’s as if they think big words might short-circuit your brain. Their linguistic downshift is their way of saying they don’t trust your grasp of the English language.
4. They’re visibly surprised when you know something.
Express knowledge about anything beyond what they deem your intellectual capacity, and watch their eyebrows shoot up like they’re trying to escape their forehead. “Wow, you know about quantum physics?” The shock in their voice is palpable. They expect you to be on the most basic level for some reason.
5. They talk about you in the third person… while you’re there.
“Oh, don’t mind him, he doesn’t understand these things.” They chat about you like you’re not even in the room, or worse, like you’re the family pet. Their dismissive behaviour makes it clear that in their eyes, you’re not even worth addressing directly. Charming, right?
6. They give you unsolicited “life advice” about basic tasks.
“Make sure you look both ways before crossing the street!” Thanks, I’ve only been doing that successfully for decades. Their patronising guidance on everyday activities is their way of implying you can’t be trusted to handle the basics of adult life without their sage wisdom.
7. They fact-check everything you say… in real-time.
You can’t get through a sentence without them whipping out their phone to verify your claims. “Actually, according to Google…” It’s like they’ve appointed themselves as your personal truth police, assuming everything out of your mouth needs fact-checking.
8. They laugh at your ideas… and not in a good way.
Share a thought or suggestion, and they respond with a chuckle that says, “Oh, you sweet summer child.” It’s not the warm laughter of camaraderie, but the dismissive snicker that says they find your ideas adorably naive. Nothing says, “I think you’re an idiot” quite like treating your thoughts as a comedy routine.
9. They constantly correct your grammar or pronunciation.
Every conversation becomes an impromptu English lesson. Mispronounce a word, and they’re on it like a grammar hawk. “It’s ‘especially,’ not ‘expecially.'” Thanks, Professor. Linguistic policing is their way of highlighting every little mistake, implying you can’t even master basic communication.
10. They make decisions for you without asking.
“I ordered for you already. I figured you wouldn’t know what’s good here.” They bypass your input entirely, assuming you’re incapable of making choices for yourself. This behaviour screams that they don’t trust your judgement enough to even pick your own meal.
11. They use excessive hand gestures when explaining things to you.
Suddenly, they’re miming out every word like they’re playing the world’s most condescending game of charades. It’s as if they think visual aids are necessary for your brain to process basic information. Their flailing arms are basically saying, “I don’t trust your ears or your brain to work together.”
12. They “translate” other people’s comments for you.
Someone makes a statement, and they immediately jump in to “clarify” it for you. “What he means is…” The translation service you never asked for is their way of saying they don’t trust you to understand basic human communication without their expert interpretation.
13. They ask if you’re “sure” about simple facts you state.
You mention it’s Tuesday, and they respond with, “Are you sure about that?” They seem to think your grasp on reality is so tenuous that you can’t be trusted with basic facts. Their constant questioning of simple statements is their way of undermining your credibility on even the most trivial matters.
14. They praise you for completing basic tasks.
“Good job on tying your shoes today!” Unless you’re five, this over-the-top praise for everyday activities is downright insulting. They’re genuinely surprised you can function without their constant guidance and approval. Such a patronising pat on the head is their way of setting the bar embarrassingly low for you.
15. They frequently use the phrase “No offence, but…” before talking to you.
This is almost always followed by something offensive. It’s their way of trying to soften the blow while still treating you like you’re intellectually challenged. “No offence, but I’m surprised you understand this.” Gee, thanks for the warning before you insult my intelligence.
16. They always offer to “take care of it” for you.
Source: Unsplash Need to make a phone call or fill out a form? They’re jumping in to do it for you before you even have a chance to try. Their overeager helpfulness isn’t about being nice — it’s about not trusting you to handle basic adult tasks without messing them up.
17. They talk louder and slower when addressing you.
Suddenly, they’re speaking to you like you’re on the other side of a football field with earplugs in. Their change in volume and pace isn’t about clarity — it’s about them thinking you need extra help to process basic language. It’s not just insulting to your intelligence, but to your hearing as well.
