Loneliness can be an overwhelming emotion, and overcoming it can feel insurmountable at times.
People who are suffering from feeling isolated and disconnected from everyone around them likely want to change their circumstances, but they find it really hard to do so. In the end, they can become discouraged and instead of taking action, they start wallowing in their sadness and make things worse by doing these things.
1. They isolate themselves even more.
When loneliness sets in, the natural reaction is often to retreat. They stop responding to messages, turn down invites, and gradually distance themselves from the people who care about them. It might feel safer to hide away, but this isolation only strengthens their sense of loneliness and makes it harder to break free.
2. They obsess over social media.
Scrolling through social media can become an obsession as they watch everyone else seemingly live perfect, connected lives. Constantly comparing themselves to the people they see online makes them feel even worse, feeding feelings of inadequacy and deepening their loneliness. They forget that what they’re seeing is only a highlight reel, not the full picture.
3. They turn to food for comfort.
When they’re feeling down, they might start reaching for food to fill the emotional void. Indulging in comfort foods can provide a momentary sense of relief, but it doesn’t address the real problem. Over time, this can lead to feelings of guilt and even health issues, which just makes them feel more isolated.
4. They binge-watch TV shows.
Television and streaming platforms become a form of escape. Hours can be spent binging shows instead of connecting with people. While it might be a distraction, using entertainment to avoid reality often leads to more loneliness because they’re not engaging in real-world interactions or nurturing relationships.
5. They sleep to avoid their feelings.
Sleep becomes an easy way to avoid facing their emotions. They might find themselves sleeping excessively, staying in bed all day, hoping the world will somehow feel better when they wake up. But oversleeping can mess with their mood and energy levels, making it even harder to face the day and reach out to anyone.
6. They tear themselves down with negative self-talk.
The voice inside their head becomes their harshest critic. They might convince themselves that no one likes them or that they’re destined to be alone forever. That kind of negative self-talk creates a mental barrier that prevents them from seeing any chance of building meaningful relationships.
7. They romanticise past relationships.
They start reminiscing about an ex or an old friend and convince themselves that things were perfect back then. By romanticising the past, they end up feeling even more disconnected from the present. They might hold on to the idea that things were better before, which keeps them from moving forward.
8. They cling too tightly to new relationships.
When they do meet someone new, they might become overly attached too quickly. Their intense need for connection can come across as overwhelming, which then makes people want to pull away. Their fear of losing the new bond can create tension, and they often end up feeling lonelier when things don’t work out.
9. They develop unrealistic expectations.
They start believing that one perfect friend or partner will fix everything. This puts a lot of pressure on new relationships, and when people can’t live up to these high expectations, it leaves them feeling disappointed. It’s a setup for failure, and it keeps them stuck in a cycle of loneliness.
10. They neglect their appearance.
When they’re feeling low, self-care often falls by the wayside. They might stop showering, getting dressed properly, or taking care of their appearance because they figure no one’s going to notice anyway. This neglect makes them feel worse about themselves, and when social opportunities do come up, they might not feel confident enough to join in.
11. They turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
In an attempt to numb their loneliness, some might turn to alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy behaviours. While these may provide temporary relief, they only add to the problem. Substance use can isolate them even further, create more problems, and damage the relationships they do have.
12. They become overly critical of other people.
Loneliness can make people overly critical of those around them. Instead of giving people a chance, they find faults in everyone. It’s a defence mechanism that pushes people away, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where they remain isolated because they can’t see the good in people.
13. They fall into a victim mindset.
They start to believe that their loneliness is out of their control, that the world is against them. Their victim mentality keeps them stuck, as they stop trying to make positive changes. It’s easier to blame external forces than to take responsibility for their own happiness and work towards better relationships.
14. They overshare with strangers.
Desperate for connection, they might spill their deepest problems to someone they barely know. Their lack of boundaries can overwhelm potential friends and push them away before a healthy relationship can form. It’s hard to build trust and connections when interactions are so one-sided from the start.
15. They constantly compare themselves to other people.
When they see other people who seem to have it all—great friendships, relationships, fulfilling social lives—they can’t help but feel envious. Constantly comparing themselves to other people just deepens their feelings of inadequacy. They lose sight of their own worth and potential, focusing only on what they think they’re missing.
16. They refuse to step out of their comfort zone.
They stick to what’s familiar, even though it’s not making them happy. The fear of trying something new holds them back from opportunities to meet new people or try new activities. By staying in their safe space, they limit their chances to form meaningful connections.
17. They hold on to toxic relationships.
Sometimes they’d rather stay in unhealthy relationships than risk being alone. But toxic friendships and romantic relationships can make them feel even lonelier in the long run. Letting go of these negative connections is hard, but necessary, if they want to find more fulfilling and positive relationships.
