If you’re a friendly, optimistic person who always sees the best in everyone, you might be in danger of letting people into your life who don’t deserve to be there.
You might not immediately notice their toxicity, but their behaviour will make it clear in no time. No matter how much you want to give people the benefit of the doubt and not be judgemental, here are some clear signs you’re surrounded by low-quality people and might want to switch up your social circle.
1. You’re always the one picking up the tab.
Everyone runs short on cash sometimes, but if you’re the one always covering the tab, that’s a problem. If your friends never offer to split the bill or conveniently forget their wallets every time you go out, it’s a sign they’re taking advantage. Real friends don’t expect you to be their personal bank account—they’ll make an effort to pay their share or at least return the favour from time to time.
2. They only call when they need something.
Do you have friends who only call when they need a favour? It might seem harmless at first, but if every conversation starts with them needing something, and they’re never around when you need help, it’s a red flag. A good friendship goes both ways—you shouldn’t just be their go-to when they’re in a pinch.
3. You feel drained after hanging out with them.
Sometimes you leave a hangout feeling totally drained, even if all you did was sit and chat. If someone’s presence feels like it’s zapping your energy more often than not, that’s your gut telling you something isn’t right. Friends should leave you feeling good, not completely wiped out. If this keeps happening, it might be time to take a break.
4. They’re always involved in drama.
Everyone has tough times, but if someone’s constantly at the centre of drama and chaos, it might be more than just bad luck. Some people thrive on drama and bring it with them wherever they go. If you’re getting pulled into their endless cycles of conflict, it’s probably time to step back before their drama becomes yours.
5. They’re quick to criticise but never offer praise.
If someone’s always nitpicking your choices but goes quiet when you achieve something good, they might not be as supportive as you think. Friends should lift each other up, not tear each other down. It’s one thing to offer constructive feedback, but if it’s all criticism with no encouragement, that’s not the kind of energy you need in your life.
6. They make you doubt your dreams.
Ever share a big goal with someone, only to have them shoot it down right away? That’s a sign of someone who doesn’t want to see you succeed. A true friend will support your ambitions, even if they seem far-fetched. It’s okay to offer advice or a reality check, but constantly being told your ideas won’t work can be toxic.
7. They’re always the victim in their stories.
Everyone has tough moments, but if someone’s always the victim in every story, that’s a red flag. They never take responsibility for their actions, and it’s always someone else’s fault. This behaviour can be draining because you end up constantly trying to console them or fix their problems. Healthy people own up to their mistakes and learn from them.
8. They’re unreliable.
We all know someone who treats plans like they’re optional, always cancelling or showing up late with a half-baked excuse. If your time isn’t being respected, that’s not just frustrating—it’s disrespectful. Good friends value your time and make an effort to follow through on commitments.
9. They’re always competing with you.
Friendly competition can be fun, but if you’ve got a friend who constantly tries to one-up you, that gets tiring fast. Whether it’s your job, your relationships, or even the smallest achievement, they always have to go one better. True friends should celebrate your successes, not turn them into a contest.
10. They gossip… a lot.
We all gossip from time to time, but if someone’s constantly talking about people behind their backs, you have to wonder what they’re saying when you’re not around. Gossiping too much can breed negativity and distrust. If someone can’t have a conversation without tearing someone down, it might be time to reconsider how much you share with them.
11. They make you feel like you need to change.
If being around someone makes you feel like you’re not good enough as you are, that’s a huge red flag. Whether it’s your appearance, your job, or your personality, you should never feel like you have to change to meet someone else’s standards. Real friends accept you for who you are, flaws and all.
12. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Boundaries are important in any relationship, and if someone constantly crosses yours, that’s a problem. Whether they’re pushing too hard for your time, invading your personal space, or not respecting your limits, it’s a sign they’re not respecting you. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for boundaries.
13. They bring out the worst in you.
Sometimes, it’s not just about how they act—it’s about how you act when you’re around them. If you notice you’re gossiping more, being negative, or making choices you’re not proud of when they’re around, that’s a sign this person isn’t good for you. Friends should inspire you to be your best self, not drag you down into bad habits.
