There’s no magic secret to getting people to like you — it’s pretty simple (and fairly obvious).
Being the kind of person others want around comes down to a few simple things: kindness, consideration, respect, and a bit of personality. If you want to become a bit more popular in your social circle (or expand yours), add these small habits into your everyday interactions and voilà, you’ll be golden!
1. Remember people’s names.
It’s a small thing, but it makes a big impact. When you meet someone, repeat their name back to them. Then use it naturally in conversation. It shows you’re paying attention and that they matter to you. Plus, it helps you remember their name for next time! If you struggle with names, try associating the person with a vivid image or characteristic to help it stick in your memory.
2. Ask questions and actually listen.
People love talking about themselves. Ask open-ended questions about their interests, work, or opinions. Then really listen to their answers. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Show you’re engaged by nodding or adding small comments like “That’s interesting!” This active listening not only makes people feel valued, but also helps you learn and grow from each interaction.
3. Give genuine compliments.
Notice something you genuinely like about someone? Tell them! It could be their outfit, their laugh, or a skill they have. Just keep it sincere. A specific compliment like “Your presentation was really clear and helpful” beats a generic “Good job” any day. Remember, the key is to be observant and find something you truly appreciate about the person.
4. Mirror body language subtly.
This one’s easy because it’s mostly subconscious. When talking to someone, match their posture and gestures a bit. If they lean in, you lean in. If they cross their legs, you cross yours. Just don’t overdo it — you’re going for “in sync,” not “creepy mime.” This mirroring helps establish rapport and makes the other person feel more comfortable in your presence.
5. Smile more.
A genuine smile is contagious. It makes you appear friendly and approachable. Plus, it actually makes you feel happier too. Win-win! Just make sure it reaches your eyes — a fake smile is worse than no smile at all. Smiling regularly can also help reduce stress and improve your overall mood, making you more pleasant to be around.
6. Be reliable.
Do what you say you’re going to do. If you make plans, keep them. If you can’t, let people know as soon as possible. Being dependable builds trust, and people naturally like those they can count on. Consistency in your actions and words creates a sense of security in your relationships, both personal and professional.
7. Show empathy.
When someone shares a problem or concern, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions. Instead, acknowledge their feelings. Say something like, “That sounds really tough. I’m sorry you’re going through that.” People often just want to feel heard and understood. Practising empathy makes you more likeable and deepens your connections with people.
8. Use people’s interests in conversation.
Remember details about what people like and bring them up later. “Hey, didn’t you mention you love jazz? I heard about this great new club opening up!” It shows you were paying attention and care about their interests. This personal touch can help deepen your connections and make your interactions more meaningful.
9. Be positive.
Nobody likes a constant complainer. Try to focus on the bright side of things. If you must discuss problems, try to frame them as challenges to overcome rather than insurmountable obstacles. Your optimism can be infectious. A positive attitude not only makes you more pleasant to be around but can also help you navigate life’s ups and downs more easily.
10. Admit your mistakes.
If you mess up, own it. Apologise sincerely and explain how you’ll do better next time. People respect those who can admit when they’re wrong. It shows honesty and a willingness to grow. This vulnerability can actually strengthen your relationships and increase people’s trust in you.
11. Be present.
When you’re with someone, be fully there. Put your phone away. Make eye contact. Show that you value their time and company. In a world full of distractions, your full attention is a rare and appreciated gift. Being present also allows you to fully experience and enjoy your interactions, leading to more satisfying relationships.
12. Use humour wisely.
Laughter is a great way to connect, but be careful with your jokes. Avoid sarcasm or put-downs. Self-deprecating humour can work well, as long as it’s not overdone. When in doubt, stick to light, good-natured humour that doesn’t target anyone. Remember, the goal is to make people feel good, not to prove how clever you are.
13. Offer help without being asked.
If you notice someone struggling with something you can easily assist with, offer to help. Maybe it’s carrying a heavy box or proofreading an email. Small acts of kindness go a long way in making you likeable. These gestures help other people and give you a sense of purpose and connection.
14. Be yourself.
This might sound cliché, but it’s crucial. All these tips are great, but they won’t work if you’re not genuine. People can sense inauthenticity. So use these strategies to enhance your natural personality, not to create a fake one. The most likeable people are those who are comfortable in their own skin. Embracing your unique qualities allows people to connect with the real you, creating deeper and more authentic relationships.
