A lot of parents go overboard spoiling their kids, especially if they didn’t have much themselves growing up.
However well-intentioned, lavishing kids with too many material things — and even too much attention and praise — can cause major issues when those kids become adults. If you have these struggles now, chances are you were spoiled as a child, and you’re paying for it big time.
1. You struggle with delayed gratification.
Waiting isn’t your strong suit. When you want something, you want it now. As a kid, you probably got what you asked for pretty quickly. Now, as an adult, patience isn’t just a virtue — it’s a real challenge. You find yourself impulse buying or getting frustrated when things don’t happen immediately. Learning to wait and work towards goals is a skill you’re still developing.
2. You have a hard time accepting “no” for an answer.
Hearing “no” feels like a personal attack. As a child, “no” was probably a rare word in your vocabulary. Now, when faced with rejection or refusal, you might feel disproportionately upset or even try to negotiate your way to a “yes”. It’s not that you’re trying to be difficult; you’re just not used to not getting your way.
3. You often feel entitled to special treatment.
You expect things to go your way, and when they don’t, it’s jarring. Maybe you get annoyed when you’re not given preferential treatment or when rules apply to you. This stems from a childhood where you were often treated as special or exceptional. Realising that the world doesn’t revolve around you can be a tough pill to swallow.
4. You struggle with basic life skills.
Laundry, cooking, or budgeting might feel like rocket science to you. As a kid, these things were probably done for you. Now, adulting hits hard. You might find yourself googling “how to boil an egg” or wondering why your whites are now pink. It’s okay, everyone starts somewhere — you’re just starting a bit later.
5. You often feel bored or restless.
Entertaining yourself doesn’t come easily. As a child, you probably had a constant stream of new toys or activities. Now, you might struggle with downtime or feel the need for constant stimulation. Finding joy in simple things or being content with your own company is a skill you’re still working on.
6. You have a hard time taking responsibility for your actions.
Owning up to mistakes doesn’t come naturally. As a kid, your parents might have often stepped in to fix things or make excuses for you. Now, you might find yourself blaming other people or circumstances when things go wrong. Learning to say “I messed up” and deal with the consequences is a work in progress.
7. You struggle with setting and respecting boundaries.
Boundaries are a foreign concept. Growing up, your wants and needs were probably prioritised, even at other people’s expense. Now, you might have trouble recognising when you’re overstepping or feel offended when other people set boundaries with you. Learning to respect people’s limits (and set your own) is a crucial skill you’re still developing.
8. You have unrealistic expectations about work and success.
You expect success to come quickly and easily. As a child, you might have been praised excessively or rewarded for minimal effort. Now, the real world of hard work and gradual progress can feel disappointing. You’re learning that success often requires persistence, failure, and a whole lot of effort.
9. You really can’t handle criticism.
Source: Unsplash Constructive feedback feels like a personal attack. Growing up, you might have been shielded from criticism or always told you were perfect. Now, when someone points out areas for improvement, it can feel devastating. Learning to see criticism as a tool for growth rather than an insult is a challenge you’re facing.
10. You often feel like you’re not doing “enough”.
Source: Unsplash There’s a constant pressure to achieve or acquire more. As a child, you might have always had the latest and greatest things. Now, you might feel a nagging sense of dissatisfaction with what you have or what you’ve accomplished. Learning to appreciate what you have and find contentment is a journey you’re on.
11. You have trouble maintaining long-term relationships.
Source: Unsplash Relationships require compromise and sometimes feel like too much work. Growing up, people might have catered to your needs and wants. Now, the give-and-take of adult relationships can feel challenging. You’re learning that healthy relationships require effort, compromise, and sometimes putting other people first.
12. You struggle with financial management.
Budgeting and saving don’t come naturally to you. As a kid, money might not have been a concern, with your wants easily fulfilled. Now, dealing with limited resources and long-term financial planning can feel overwhelming. Learning to live within your means and save for the future is a skill you’re still mastering.
13. You have a hard time dealing with disappointment.
When things don’t go your way, it feels like the end of the world. As a child, disappointments might have been quickly soothed or avoided altogether. Now, facing letdowns in adult life can feel particularly harsh. You’re learning that disappointment is a normal part of life and developing resilience to bounce back.
14. You often feel anxious or overwhelmed by adult responsibilities.
The weight of adult life sometimes feels crushing. Growing up, many things might have been taken care of for you. Now, juggling work, bills, and other responsibilities can feel daunting. You’re learning to break big tasks into manageable chunks and slowly building your adulting muscles.
15. You have a tendency to be self-centred in your worldview.
Considering other people’s perspectives doesn’t always come naturally. As a child, your needs and wants were likely central in your household. Now, you might sometimes forget to consider how your actions affect other people or struggle to empathise with different viewpoints. You’re working on broadening your perspective and considering the bigger picture beyond just yourself.
