Everyone makes mistakes, but some things are hard to forgive — and probably shouldn’t be.
While it’s good to give second chances to people when they’re genuinely sorry for messing up and are dedicated to making amends and never repeating their bad behaviour, other times, you’re better off calling it quits now and saving yourself further, inevitable trouble. After all, these types of people definitely don’t deserve second chances.
1. They constantly lie to your face.
If someone is always lying, it’s not just about the lies themselves—it’s about the disrespect and the complete disregard for your trust. Sure, everyone tells a white lie now and again, but when you catch someone in constant lies, it’s clear they don’t value honesty in your relationship. And once trust is broken, rebuilding it becomes an uphill battle that some people aren’t even willing to climb.
2. They’re physically abusive.
There’s no excuse for violence in any form. If someone ever lays a hand on you, that’s not just a red flag—it’s a giant “get out now” sign. Abuse tends to escalate over time, and your safety should always come first. If someone resorts to physical harm to express their emotions or control you, it’s time to walk away—no questions asked.
3. They cheat and show no remorse.
Infidelity is hard enough to deal with, but when the cheater doesn’t show any real regret or take steps to repair the damage, it’s obvious they don’t value your feelings or your relationship. If they’re more upset about being caught than about hurting you, it’s time to recognise that this person isn’t worth the emotional energy.
4. They toy with your emotions.
Emotional manipulation is subtle, but it’s toxic. If someone’s constantly making you feel guilty, ashamed, or afraid to stand up for yourself, they’re trying to control you. Over time, this kind of manipulation eats away at your mental health and self-esteem. It’s a clear sign that the relationship isn’t healthy.
5. Their promises are always empty.
You know the type: they say one thing but never follow through. If someone consistently breaks promises, they’re not valuing your time or your trust. It’s frustrating and leaves you constantly wondering if you can count on them for anything. If this becomes a pattern, it’s time to consider whether they really deserve your loyalty.
6. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
When someone can never admit they’re wrong, it’s exhausting. Constantly shifting blame or refusing to take responsibility shows immaturity and a lack of accountability. You’ll never be able to resolve conflicts or grow as a couple if one person is always dodging blame or turning every issue back on you.
7. They disrespect your boundaries.
Everyone has boundaries, and they need to be respected. If someone consistently ignores or tests your limits, they’re not respecting you. Whether it’s pushing for something you’re not comfortable with or dismissing your personal space, this behaviour is a sign of deeper disrespect that can’t be ignored.
8. They’re verbally abusive.
Harsh words can hurt just as much as physical blows. If someone’s always tearing you down with insults, constant criticism, or making you feel worthless, that’s emotional abuse. Even if they apologise after, consistent verbal attacks signal a deeper issue that can destroy your self-esteem and mental health.
9. They’re using you—plain and simple.
Some people are takers. If you’re always giving—whether it’s time, money, or emotional support—and they never reciprocate, they’re taking advantage of your kindness. A healthy relationship involves give-and-take, not one person constantly using the other.
10. They’re jealous and controlling.
There’s a difference between caring and controlling. If they’re always jealous or trying to dictate what you wear, who you see, or how you spend your time, it’s a massive red flag. This kind of control is often rooted in insecurity and can lead to isolation and abuse.
11. They gaslight you.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you question your own reality. If your partner regularly denies things you know happened or twists your words, it’s incredibly damaging. Gaslighting leaves you doubting your memory and sanity, which is emotionally exhausting and can have long-lasting effects on your mental health.
12. They shut down in the face of conflict.
Communication is the backbone of any relationship. If someone stonewalls you, gives the silent treatment, or flat-out refuses to discuss problems, you’re never going to resolve anything. This unwillingness to communicate signals that they’re not invested in working through the tough times.
13. Addiction rules their life—and they won’t get help.
Addiction is a serious issue, and while many people recover with the right help, it’s nearly impossible if they refuse to acknowledge the problem. If someone’s unwilling to get treatment or make changes, their addiction will likely drag both of you down, causing chaos and hurt in the process.
14. They consistently put you down in public.
Public humiliation is a form of emotional abuse. If your partner regularly criticises or embarrasses you in front of other people, it’s a sign that they care more about controlling or belittling you than about supporting you. This behaviour destroys your self-esteem and makes you feel small and insignificant.
15. They’re reckless with money that impacts both of you.
Source: Unsplash Money problems are a big deal in relationships, but if your partner is consistently irresponsible with shared finances, it’s more than just a problem—it’s a lack of respect. Whether they’re hiding debt, spending recklessly, or making big decisions without consulting you, this behaviour puts both your financial futures at risk.
16. They don’t respect your core values or beliefs.
Source: Unsplash You don’t need to share all the same values to have a healthy relationship, but mutual respect is non-negotiable. If they constantly dismiss or belittle your beliefs or try to change who you are at your core, it’s a clear sign that they don’t respect you. Over time, this will only lead to resentment and a deep sense of invalidation.
