Showing respect to everyone around you is just a basic tenet of being a decent person.
The most obvious way to do it is simply to treat everyone equally, be considerate of their boundaries, and to value their thoughts and opinions. However, it’s also important to mind the words you use. Truly respectful people know better than to use these phrases — they’re rude, dismissive, and just plain insulting.
1. “It’s not rocket science.”
Telling someone this makes them feel like they’re being slow or dumb for not understanding something. Just because a task seems simple to you doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else. Rather than belittling someone’s struggle, offer a hand and acknowledge that we all have different strengths.
2. “No offence, but…”
If you have to start a sentence like this, you already know what you’re about to say is offensive. It’s like giving yourself permission to say something hurtful. Someone who’s respectful would rethink saying anything at all if it requires this kind of disclaimer. If you’re worried about it being offensive, maybe just don’t say it.
3. “You look tired.”
Even if you mean well, commenting on someone’s appearance like this can make them self-conscious. It implies they look worn out or unattractive. A better way to approach it would be to ask how they’re feeling, or if they need a break, without making them feel like they look bad.
4. “Not to be rude, but…”
You know what’s coming after this is going to be rude, so why say it? It’s just an excuse to let yourself off the hook for whatever harsh thing you’re about to drop. A respectful person wouldn’t need to preface their words like this – they’d think about how to say it kindly, or maybe not say it at all.
5. “You should just…”
It might seem like you’re offering advice, but it comes across like you’re oversimplifying someone’s problem. Life isn’t always that straightforward, and if it were, they probably would have figured it out already. Respectful people know to listen first and understand that sometimes there’s no quick fix.
6. “Calm down.”
Telling someone to calm down when they’re upset rarely works and usually makes things worse. It can make the other person feel like their emotions don’t matter. Instead, try acknowledging how they feel and ask how you can help, rather than brushing their feelings aside.
7. “It’s just a joke.”
Using this as a way to excuse a hurtful comment is a way of dodging responsibility. Just because something was intended as a joke doesn’t mean it didn’t sting. Instead of brushing it off, a respectful person would own up to it and apologise if the joke didn’t land well.
8. “Well, actually…”
Jumping in to correct someone, especially with this phrase, can sound really condescending. It gives off a know-it-all vibe, like you’re the one with all the answers. Respectful people don’t need to undermine people just to make a point. They find ways to share their thoughts without making the other person feel dumb.
9. “I don’t have time for this.”
Saying this can make other people feel like they’re wasting your time or that their issue isn’t important. It cuts the conversation off in a way that feels dismissive. A more considerate approach would be to explain that you’re busy and offer to talk later, without making the other person feel like a burden.
10. “That’s not my job.”
Yes, it’s important to have boundaries at work, but this can come off as rigid and unhelpful. Instead, you could explain why something isn’t within your role and offer to point them in the right direction or help them find someone who can assist. It’s about being a team player without overstepping your own boundaries.
11. “You’re overthinking it.”
This phrase makes someone feel like their thought process is being dismissed. What seems like overthinking to you might be someone else working through a situation carefully. Instead of brushing it off, try to understand why they’re thinking so deeply about it and offer a supportive perspective.
12. “I’m not a mind reader.”
While it’s true no one can read minds, saying this can come off as snappy and a bit rude. It implies the other person is being unreasonable for expecting you to know what they want. A more respectful way to handle it is to ask for more clarity, showing that you’re willing to listen and understand.
13. “Who cares?”
Even if something isn’t a big deal to you, it might mean a lot to someone else. Saying “Who cares?” makes them feel like their interests or concerns are silly. Respectful people understand that everyone values different things and will respond thoughtfully, even if they don’t share the same enthusiasm.
14. “I told you what to do.”
This can feel patronising and impatient, like you expect them to get it right the first time without any support. Sometimes people need more guidance, or maybe they missed something the first time. Respectful people offer help without making the other person feel bad about it.
15. “That’s stupid.”
Calling someone’s idea or decision stupid is just plain rude. It’s a direct insult that can really hurt someone’s confidence. A better approach is to offer constructive feedback or disagree respectfully. After all, it’s possible to share your opinion without tearing someone down.
16. “You always make such a big deal out of everything.”
Source: Unsplash This kind of sweeping statement invalidates someone’s feelings and makes it sound like they’re constantly overreacting. Instead of generalising, try to understand why they’re upset about this particular situation. People have different thresholds for stress, and what might seem small to you could be big to them.
