The key to being well-liked isn’t exactly rocket science.
It means treating people with respect, being friendly and open, and just generally not being a jerk. However, if you feel like you’re not all that popular socially, or even that people actively dislike you, it could be because you have some pretty bad habits. If you want to be the kind of person people don’t dread being around, it’s time to stop doing these things.
1. Needing constant validation from everyone around you
If you’re constantly fishing for validation, it can wear people out fast. Yes, everyone likes to be noticed, but if you’re always seeking praise, it can come off as needy. Try building your confidence from within instead of relying on other people to make you feel good. When you’re secure in yourself, you’ll naturally draw people to you.
2. Oversharing personal info way too soon
Being open is great, but if you spill all your personal drama to someone you’ve just met, it can overwhelm them. People need time to build trust. Share a little at a time and let the relationship develop naturally. That way, your connections will feel more comfortable and balanced.
3. Always complaining about your problems
Everyone has problems, but if your conversations are constantly about how bad things are for you, it can be draining. It’s important to share your struggles, but balance it out. Show interest in other people’s lives and talk about positive things too. People will enjoy being around you more if you bring a mix of perspectives to the table.
4. Not respecting other people’s boundaries
Being too clingy, messaging all the time, or showing up unannounced can make people uncomfortable. Pay attention to social cues and respect when someone needs space. Ask about their preferences instead of assuming. People appreciate when you respect their boundaries, and it makes you way easier to be around.
5. Always feeling the need to outdo everyone
If you feel the need to turn every conversation into a competition, it gets old fast. People want to feel heard, not like they’re in a contest. Practice listening without feeling like you have to outdo someone else’s story. It’ll make conversations more enjoyable for everyone.
6. Not looking after your personal hygiene
This might seem basic, but it’s worth mentioning: poor hygiene is a huge turn-off. Whether it’s bad breath, messy clothes, or body odour, it’s something people notice. Taking care of yourself shows you respect not only yourself, but also those around you. A little effort goes a long way in making people more comfortable.
7. Constantly interrupting and talking over people
Jumping in or dominating the conversation is a quick way to make people feel unimportant. You might just be excited, but it can come across as rude. Practice holding back and giving other people the floor. Let them finish what they’re saying before you add your thoughts—it’ll make for much better conversations.
8. Being extremely judgemental over superficial things
Constantly pointing out people’s flaws or being critical of everything can create a negative vibe. People will feel like they can’t relax around you. Try focusing on the positives or, when you have to critique something, do it in a kind, constructive way. You’ll find people will be more comfortable and open around you.
9. Not really caring about other people’s lives
If you always steer the conversation back to yourself or seem uninterested in what everyone else is saying, people will notice. Asking about their lives, remembering things they’ve shared, and showing you care makes a big difference. People appreciate feeling valued, and you’ll build much stronger connections that way.
10. Being inconsistent or unreliable
Flaking on plans, showing up late, or not following through on promises can really hurt your relationships. It tells people you don’t value their time. Be dependable—if you say you’ll do something, do it. And if something comes up, let them know right away. People want to be around those they can trust.
11. Not taking responsibility for your actions
Nobody likes someone who never takes responsibility. If you’re always making excuses or blaming other people when things go wrong, it makes you look immature. Own up to your mistakes, apologise when necessary, and focus on fixing the situation. People will respect you more for being accountable.
12. Being a little too self-deprecating
A little self-deprecating humour can be funny, but if you’re always tearing yourself apart, it can make people uncomfortable. It can come across like you’re fishing for compliments or that you don’t believe in yourself. Aim for a balance between humility and confidence—people will feel more at ease around you.
13. Not being authentic
Being fake or changing who you are to fit in never works. People can sense when you’re not being authentic, and it pushes them away. Be yourself, quirks and all. When you’re genuine, you’ll attract people who like you for who you really are. That’s how you build real, lasting connections.
