Everyone wants to command respect, but not everyone does.
If you’re getting the sneaking suspicion that people don’t hold you in very regard or take you very seriously, you might be wondering what on earth is going on. While some people are simply disrespectful in general, and it has nothing to do with you, there could be certain habits or behaviours that are commanding people’s disdain rather than their esteem. Here’s why you’re not getting the respect you’re sure you deserve.
1. You’re always late, and it’s becoming your trademark.
Constantly showing up late sends a clear message that you don’t value other people’s time. It’s not quirky or fashionable; it’s just rude. Start setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier and actually leave when you say you will. Being on time shows you’re reliable and considerate.
2. You’ve made overpromising and underdelivering an art form.
Big talk followed by zero action is a guaranteed way to lose respect. People remember when you don’t follow through. Start being realistic about what you can actually do, and then surprise everyone by doing exactly what you said you would. It’s that simple.
3. Your word changes more often than the weather.
If your opinions and promises shift with every passing breeze, people will stop taking you seriously. It’s okay to change your mind, but constantly flip-flopping makes you seem indecisive and unreliable. Take time to form solid opinions and stick to them unless you have a really good reason to change.
4. You treat social media like it’s your personal diary.
Oversharing every detail of your life online doesn’t make you interesting; it makes you look desperate for attention. Keep some mystery about yourself. Share the highlights, not the play-by-play of your day. People respect those who can maintain healthy boundaries.
5. You’re a walking complaint department.
Constant negativity is exhausting for everyone around you. If your go-to conversation starter is a gripe about something, you’re pushing people away. Try focusing on solutions instead of problems. Positive people who tackle issues head-on earn respect.
6. You’ve never met a gossip you didn’t like.
Spreading rumours might feel like a power move, but it actually makes you look petty and untrustworthy. People will wonder what you say about them when they’re not around. Break the habit by refusing to engage in or spread gossip. Be known for your integrity instead.
7. Your self-deprecating humour has gone from endearing to concerning.
A bit of self-mockery can be charming, but constant self-put-downs make people uncomfortable. It suggests you don’t value yourself, so why should other people? Start acknowledging your strengths without bragging. Confidence (not arrogance) is respectable.
8. You’re a human doormat, always saying yes when you mean no.
Being a people-pleaser might make you likeable in the short term, but it won’t earn you respect. Learn to set boundaries and say no when you need to. People respect those who can stand up for themselves and their time.
9. Your living space looks like it’s auditioning for a disaster movie.
A messy environment reflects a disorganised mind. It’s hard to respect someone who can’t keep their basic surroundings in order. Start small: make your bed every day, do your dishes after meals. A tidy space shows you’ve got your life together.
10. You treat every conversation like a competition you have to win.
Always trying to outdo people or turning discussions into debates is exhausting. People avoid those who can’t have a balanced conversation. Practise active listening and show some interest in other people’s views. Respectful dialogue earns respect in return.
11. Your emotional regulation skills are stuck in toddler mode.
Frequent outbursts or mood swings make people walk on eggshells around you. It’s hard to respect someone who can’t control their emotions. Work on identifying your triggers and finding healthy ways to process feelings. Emotional maturity is highly respected.
12. You’ve made excuses your second language.
Having a reason for everything that goes wrong in your life gets old fast. It shows a lack of accountability. Start owning your mistakes and focusing on how to fix them or do better next time. Taking responsibility for your actions is a hallmark of a respectable person.
13. Your ambition seems to have taken an extended holiday.
Lack of goals or drive can make you appear stagnant. It’s hard to respect someone who’s not trying to improve or move forward in life. Set some achievable goals and start working towards them. Showing initiative and growth mindset earns respect.
14. You treat kindness like it’s a limited resource.
Being rude or dismissive, especially to those in service positions, is a massive respect-killer. Kindness costs nothing, but pays huge dividends in how other people see you. Make an effort to be genuinely nice to everyone you interact with. It’s that simple.
15. Your personal hygiene routine is more of a suggestion than a rule.
Neglecting basic grooming sends a message that you don’t care about yourself or other people’s comfort. Regular showers, clean clothes, and basic grooming go a long way. Taking care of your appearance shows self-respect, which invites respect from other people. It’s really that simple.
16. You’ve turned flakiness into a personality trait.
Constantly cancelling plans or being unreliable makes people stop counting on you. It shows a lack of respect for other people’s time and feelings. If you commit to something, follow through. Being dependable is a key factor in earning and maintaining respect.
