Some people have less than honourable intentions and will milk you for everything they can get if you let them.
The good thing is that you don’t have to be the victim of users — you can put your foot down and make sure you’re never taken advantage of by doing a few simple things. You have to protect yourself, after all!
1. Learn to say no without feeling guilty.
One of the most powerful tools against being used is the ability to say no. That doesn’t make you unkind — it means you’re respecting your own time and energy. Turn down requests that don’t align with your priorities or that you simply don’t want to do. Remember, you don’t always need to give a reason for your refusal.
2. Set clear boundaries and stick to them.
Establish what you’re comfortable with in your relationships and communicate these boundaries clearly. This might involve limiting how much time you spend helping people or defining what kind of favours you’re willing to do. Once you’ve set these boundaries, it’s important to consistently enforce them, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
3. Recognise the signs of manipulative behaviour.
Learn to identify when someone is trying to manipulate you. This might include guilt-tripping, excessive flattery, or making you feel responsible for their happiness. Being aware of these tactics can help you respond more effectively and avoid falling into manipulative traps.
4. Value your time and energy.
Understand that your time and energy are precious resources. Don’t give them away too freely. If someone consistently expects you to drop everything for them, it’s a sign they might be taking advantage of you. Prioritise your own needs and goals before committing to other people.
5. Develop self-confidence and self-worth.
People who feel confident and value themselves are less likely to be used. Work on building your self-esteem. Remember that you are worthy of respect and fair treatment. When you truly believe this, you’ll be less likely to accept behaviour that doesn’t align with your worth.
6. Be wary of one-sided relationships.
Healthy relationships involve give and take. If you find yourself always giving and rarely receiving, it’s a sign of imbalance. Take note of who’s there for you when you need support. If someone only reaches out when they need something, they might be using you.
7. Trust your instincts.
If something feels off about a relationship or request, listen to that feeling. Your intuition is often right. If you consistently feel drained or taken advantage of after interacting with someone, it’s worth examining why. Don’t dismiss these feelings; they’re often your subconscious picking up on subtle cues.
8. Learn to spot fake flattery.
Be cautious of excessive or insincere compliments, especially when they’re followed by requests for favours. Genuine appreciation is wonderful, but if someone only praises you when they want something, it’s likely manipulation. Learn to distinguish between sincere compliments and flattery designed to get something from you.
9. Don’t overexplain yourself.
When you’re saying no or setting a boundary, resist the urge to over-explain. The more you justify your decision, the more room you give people to argue or manipulate. A simple “I can’t do that” is often enough. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation for your choices.
10. Build a solid support network.
Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and support your well-being. Having a strong support network can help you recognise when someone is treating you unfairly. True friends will encourage you to stand up for yourself and won’t try to take advantage of your kindness.
11. Be clear about your expectations.
When helping other people, be upfront about what you expect in return, if anything. This doesn’t mean you should only help for personal gain, but it’s okay to clarify if you’re lending something or if you need a favour reciprocated. Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and feelings of being used.
12. Take time to reflect before committing.
When asked for a favour or commitment, don’t feel pressured to answer immediately. Take time to consider whether it aligns with your values and whether you genuinely want to do it. This pause can help you make decisions that are true to yourself rather than simply pleasing other people.
13. Learn to recognise genuine emergencies.
Some people create a constant sense of urgency to manipulate people. Learn to distinguish between true emergencies and manufactured crises. It’s okay to help in genuine emergencies, but be wary of those who always seem to have a crisis that only you can solve.
14. Practice self-care regularly.
Prioritise your own well-being. When you’re taking good care of yourself, you’re less likely to seek validation through constantly helping people. Regular self-care also helps maintain the energy and clarity needed to recognise and resist manipulative behaviour.
15. Be willing to let go of toxic relationships.
Sometimes, the best way to avoid being used is to distance yourself from people who consistently take advantage of you. It can be difficult, especially if you’ve known them for a long time, but it’s crucial for your well-being. Remember, it’s okay to outgrow relationships that no longer serve you positively.
