Life’s too short to waste time on things that drag you down or hold you back.
I’ve lost so many months and even years on things that ultimately did nothing but make me miserable, and my life got so much better the minute I said, “Enough!” Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just walk away, but it’s not always easy to know what to let go of. This list will be somewhat different for everyone, but here are some things everyone can and should ditch without a backwards glance.
1. Toxic relationships that drain your energy
Everyone has had at least one friend or partner who leaves you feeling exhausted after every conversation. Maybe they’re always complaining, or they bring out the worst in you. Whatever it is, these relationships are like energy vampires, sucking the life out of you. It’s okay to recognise when a relationship is more harmful than helpful. You don’t need to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Walking away from toxic relationships isn’t selfish; it’s self-care.
2. A job that makes you miserable
We spend a huge chunk of our lives at work, so why spend it somewhere that makes you want to scream? If you’re constantly stressed, undervalued, or just plain bored, it might be time to dust off that CV. Yes, bills need paying, but your mental health is priceless. Start looking for something that aligns better with your values and goals. Remember, a job should be more than just a pay cheque; it should contribute to your growth and happiness too.
3. Guilt over things you can’t change
Dwelling on past mistakes or situations beyond your control is a pointless endeavour. You can’t change what’s behind you, and you’ll miss out on so many great things in life if you keep focusing on it. Learn from the past, sure, but then let it go. Guilt serves no purpose if it’s not motivating positive change. You’re human, you’re going to make mistakes. Forgive yourself and move forward.
4. The need to always be right
Being right feels good, doesn’t it? But always needing to be right can be exhausting for you and everyone around you. It can damage relationships and close you off to learning new things. Sometimes, being kind is more important than being right. And often, there’s no clear right or wrong anyway. Try embracing the phrase “I don’t know” or “I might be wrong”. It’s liberating, and it opens up space for growth and better conversations.
5. Comparing yourself to other people
In this age of social media, it’s all too easy to fall into the comparison trap. But here’s the thing: you’re seeing everyone else’s highlight reel while living your behind-the-scenes. It’s not a fair comparison. Your journey is unique, and success looks different for everyone. Focus on your own progress and goals. The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
6. Holding on to stuff you don’t use
We’ve all got that drawer (or closet, or garage) full of things we’re keeping ‘just in case’. But all that clutter can weigh you down mentally as well as physically. If you haven’t used something in a year, chances are you don’t need it. Donate it, sell it, or bin it. Creating physical space can help create mental space too. Plus, someone else might get real use out of that bread maker you’ve never taken out of the box.
7. The fear of what other people think of you
Worrying about other people’s opinions is exhausting and ultimately pointless. The truth is, most people are too busy worrying about themselves to spend much time judging you. And those who do judge? Well, their opinions say more about them than about you. Focus on being true to yourself and your values. The right people will appreciate you for who you are, not who you think you should be.
8. Trying to please everyone
Here’s a hard truth: you can’t make everyone happy, and trying to do so is a recipe for burnout. You’re not a pizza; not everyone’s going to like you. And that’s okay! Prioritise pleasing yourself and the people who truly matter in your life. It’s better to be loved deeply by a few than liked superficially by many. Remember, saying yes to everyone else often means saying no to yourself.
9. Outdated goals that no longer serve you
Goals are great, but they’re not set in stone. As you grow and change, it’s natural for your aspirations to shift, too. Maybe you’ve realised that corner office isn’t what you really want, or that backpacking across Europe doesn’t excite you anymore. That’s fine! Don’t cling to old goals out of a sense of obligation. Regular reassessment of your goals ensures you’re moving in a direction that truly resonates with who you are now, not who you were five years ago.
10. The idea that you need to have it all figured out
Spoiler alert: no one has it all figured out, no matter how put-together they seem. Life is a journey of constant learning and adapting. Embrace the uncertainty and see it as an opportunity for growth rather than a sign of failure. It’s okay to change your mind, try new things, and sometimes feel a bit lost. That’s not a lack of direction; it’s being open to all the possibilities life has to offer.
11. Negative self-talk that holds you back
We’re often our own worst critics, aren’t we? That little voice in your head that says you’re not good enough or smart enough? It’s time to tell it to pipe down. Negative self-talk can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, holding you back from reaching your potential. Start catching those negative thoughts and challenge them. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to start treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer other people.
12. The need for constant busyness
In today’s world, being busy is often worn as a badge of honour. But being constantly on the go doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being productive or fulfilled. It’s okay to have downtime, to relax, to do nothing sometimes. In fact, it’s necessary for your mental and physical health. Don’t feel guilty for taking breaks or having a quiet weekend. Productivity isn’t everything, and burnout is very real. Remember, you’re a human being, not a human doing.
13. Perfectionism that paralyses you
Striving for excellence is admirable, but perfectionism can be a trap. If you’re not starting projects because you’re afraid they won’t be perfect, or not finishing them because they’re not quite right, you’re letting perfectionism hold you back. Done is better than perfect. Remember, perfectionism is often just fear in disguise — fear of criticism, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough. Let it go and embrace the beauty of progress over perfection.
14. Relationships where you’re always the giver
Friendships and relationships should have a healthy balance of give and take. If you’re always the one to reach out, to make plans, to offer support, while getting little in return, it might be time to reassess. You deserve relationships where your efforts are reciprocated. It’s not about keeping score, but about feeling valued and supported. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to keep one-sided relationships afloat.
15. The belief that you’re too old (or young) to start something new
Age is just a number, and it’s never too late (or too early) to pursue a new passion, change careers, or learn a new skill. Don’t let society’s timeline dictate your life. Julia Child didn’t start cooking until she was 36, and Grandma Moses began painting at 76. Your life is your own, and you get to decide when to start new chapters. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
16. The need to have the last word in every argument
We all like to feel we’ve made our point, but always needing the last word can turn discussions into battles. Sometimes, peace is more valuable than proving you’re right. Learning when to step back and let things go can improve your relationships and reduce your stress levels. Not every comment needs a response, and not every argument needs to be won. Choose your battles wisely.
17. Waiting for the ‘perfect’ time to start
If you’re waiting for the stars to align before you start that project, take that trip, or make that change, you might be waiting forever. There’s rarely a perfect time for anything. Life is messy and unpredictable, and sometimes you just need to take the leap. Start with what you have, where you are. Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction. The perfect time is now because now is all we ever really have.
18. The fear of failure that keeps you from trying
Failure isn’t the opposite of success; it’s a part of it. Every successful person has a trail of failures behind them. The only real failure is not trying at all. If you’re letting fear of failure hold you back from pursuing your dreams or trying new things, you’re robbing yourself of potential joy and growth. Embrace failure as a teacher, a stepping stone, a necessary part of the journey. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
