Some people aren’t naturally very welcoming.
Maybe you’re an introvert, socially awkward, or just have a case of resting you-know-what face. Whatever the reason, no one would mistake you for warm and approachable at first glance, and that’s a shame. Chances are you’re incredibly kind, caring, and lovely to talk to — if people got through the gate, that is. If you want to be seen as more friendly and accessible, here are some things you can do to give off those vibes. I promise it’s easier than you think!
1. Smile more often, but keep it genuine.
A smile can work wonders, but it’s got to be real. Fake smiles are easy to spot and can make you seem insincere. Try to find genuine reasons to smile — maybe it’s a funny thought, a nice memory, or just appreciating a moment. When you smile from the inside out, people can tell. It makes you seem more open and friendly. Just don’t force it if you’re not feeling it — authenticity is key.
2. Make eye contact, but don’t stare people down.
Eye contact shows you’re engaged and interested, but there’s a fine line between connection and creepy. Try to make eye contact about 50% of the time when you’re talking to someone. Look away naturally now and then, especially when you’re thinking. It’s not a staring contest. The goal is to show you’re present and listening, not to make the other person uncomfortable.
3. Use open body language.
Your body says a lot about how approachable you are. Uncross those arms, face towards people when they’re talking, and try not to hunch over. Stand or sit up straight, but stay relaxed. It’s not about perfect posture, it’s about looking open and receptive. If you’re always turned away or closed off, people might think you don’t want to interact.
4. Listen actively and show genuine interest.
Being a good listener is huge for being approachable. Really tune in when people are talking. Nod, make appropriate facial expressions, and ask follow-up questions. Show that you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak, but actually absorbing what they’re saying. People love feeling heard and understood. It makes them want to talk to you more.
5. Use people’s names in conversation.
There’s something personal about hearing your own name. When you use someone’s name in conversation, it shows you’re paying attention and that they matter to you. Just don’t overdo it — once or twice in a conversation is plenty. And make sure you’re pronouncing it correctly. If you’re not sure, it’s okay to ask. People appreciate the effort to get it right.
6. Share a bit about yourself.
Being approachable isn’t just about listening — it’s also about opening up. Share some things about yourself, your experiences, or your thoughts. It helps people connect with you and see you as a real person. Just keep it balanced. You don’t want to dominate the conversation or overshare. Give a little, then let them respond. It’s about creating a dialogue, not giving a monologue.
7. Show empathy and compassion.
When someone shares something personal or difficult, show that you care. You don’t need to have all the answers or fix their problems. Sometimes just saying “That sounds tough” or “I’m here if you need to talk” is enough. Empathy goes a long way in making people feel comfortable around you. It shows that you’re a safe person to open up to.
8. Use appropriate humour.
A good laugh can really break the ice and make you more approachable. But humour’s tricky — what’s funny to one person might offend another. Start with light, self-deprecating humour or universal jokes. Avoid sensitive topics or put-downs. And if a joke falls flat, just move on. The goal is to lighten the mood, not to become a stand-up comedian.
9. Be present in the moment.
In the age of smartphones, being fully present is a rare quality. When you’re talking to someone, give them your full attention. Put your phone away, ignore distractions, and focus on the conversation. People can tell when you’re really there with them, and it makes a big difference. It shows that you value their time and what they have to say.
10. Offer help or support when appropriate.
If someone mentions a problem they’re having, and you can help, offer to do so. It could be as simple as holding a door open or as involved as helping them move. Just make sure your offer is genuine and something you can follow through on. Don’t offer help just to look good. The goal is to show that you’re willing to support people, not to create obligations.
11. Practise patience.
Not everyone communicates the same way or at the same speed. Some people take longer to express themselves or might struggle to find the right words. Be patient. Give people time to finish their thoughts without interrupting or finishing their sentences for them. This patience shows respect and makes people feel more comfortable around you.
12. Be consistent in your behaviour.
Source: Unsplash Approachability isn’t something you can turn on and off. Try to maintain a consistently warm demeanour, even on bad days. This doesn’t mean you have to be cheerful all the time — we all have off days. But aim for a baseline of politeness and openness. If people know what to expect from you, they’re more likely to approach you.
13. Respect personal boundaries.
Being approachable doesn’t mean invading personal space or pushing for intimacy too quickly. Be aware of physical and emotional boundaries. Some people are more reserved and need more space. Pay attention to cues — if someone seems uncomfortable, give them some room. Respecting boundaries actually makes you more approachable in the long run.
14. Practise forgiveness and let go of grudges.
Holding on to anger or resentment can make you seem unapproachable. Try to forgive minor slights and misunderstandings. This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover or forget about serious issues. But letting go of petty grievances can make you seem more easy-going and approachable. It’s about choosing your battles and not sweating the small stuff.
