It’s not hard to be likeable — you just need to have basic consideration for other people, a positive attitude, and not be a jerk.
However, some people are just draining, making any time spent with them more of a headache than a good time. Are you someone who people would rather avoid? If you’re guilty of any of these habits, chances are you’re not that enjoyable to be around. In fact, you probably shouldn’t be surprised if people start actively avoiding you.
1. You’re always complaining about something.
Constant negativity is draining for everyone around you. If you’re constantly moaning about the weather, your job, or life in general, you’re probably not great company. Try to focus on the positives, or at least balance your complaints with some upbeat observations. There’s enough negative stuff going on in the world without you adding to the bad vibes.
2. You interrupt people when they’re talking.
Cutting someone off mid-sentence is rude and shows you’re not really listening. It also gives the impression that you think what you have to say is more important. Why don’t you try a bit of active listening and wait for a natural pause in the conversation before contributing? What you have to say likely isn’t that important or enlightening, anyway.
3. You’re glued to your phone in social situations.
If you’re constantly checking your phone when you’re with other people, you’re sending a clear message that you’d rather be elsewhere. It’s disrespectful and makes people feel unimportant. It also makes you look kind of sad, like you’re living vicariously through the influencers you follow on social media rather than being engaged in your own life. Try to be present in the moment and give people your full attention.
4. You gossip about people behind their backs.
Spreading rumours or talking badly about people when they’re not around is a quick way to lose trust. People will wonder what you say about them when they’re not there (and chances are, it’s nothing nice). Focus on positive things or discuss ideas rather than people. You don’t want a reputation for being petty.
5. You’re always trying to one-up people.
If someone shares a story or achievement and your immediate response is to share a bigger, better version of your own, you’re being competitive in an unhealthy way. Learn to be happy for other people’s achievements without feeling the need to overshadow them. Otherwise, you just look a bit sad and insecure.
6. You’re overly critical of everything and everyone.
Constant criticism is exhausting for the people around you. If you’re always pointing out flaws or problems, people will start to avoid you. Try to balance critique with praise and focus on constructive feedback when necessary. Or, you could follow the age-old advice of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. That’s always an idea!
7. You dominate every single conversation.
If you find yourself doing most of the talking when you’re in a group, you might be monopolising the conversation. Give other people a chance to speak and show interest in what they have to say. A good conversation is a balanced exchange, not a monologue. Zip your lips and take a step out of the spotlight sometimes.
8. You’re always late.
Consistently showing up late sends the message that you don’t value other people’s time. It’s disrespectful and can be frustrating for those left waiting. Make an effort to turn up when you’re supposed to — or even early! — for appointments and meetups. If everyone else can get there on time, so can you.
9. You refuse to admit when you’re wrong.
Being unable to acknowledge mistakes or accept criticism makes you hard to be around. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes. Admitting it shows maturity and helps build trust with the people around you. Pretending you’re perfect is obnoxious, especially since it’s clearly nonsense.
10. You’re overly dramatic about minor issues.
If you tend to blow small problems out of proportion, you’re going to stress everyone out (or just annoy them, which is more likely). Try to keep things in perspective and save the drama for genuinely important issues. You don’t need to have a meltdown every time something doesn’t go your way.
11. You’re always desperate for attention.
Constantly trying to be the centre of attention isn’t a good look beyond the age of 5. It’s fine to enjoy the spotlight occasionally, but make sure you’re also giving other people a chance to shine. No one’s going to want to be around you when all you care about is taking centre stage in everyone’s lives.
12. You have a short fuse or are easily offended.
If people feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you, they’re not going to enjoy your company. Work on managing your emotions and try not to take things personally. Sure, consideration is important, but people shouldn’t have to tip-toe around your overreactions.
13. You’re overly competitive in social situations.
Turning every activity into a competition can suck the fun out of social situations.. Remember, not everything needs to be a contest. Sometimes it’s okay to just enjoy the moment without trying to win. It’s really not that deep.
14. You’re always borrowing things and not returning them.
If you’re constantly asking to borrow money or items and forgetting to return them, people will start to see you as unreliable. Be mindful of what you borrow and make an effort to return things as soon as possible, and in the same condition they were in when you got them.
15. You’re a chronic canceller.
Constantly cancelling plans at the last minute is inconsiderate and can damage relationships. If you commit to something, try your best to follow through. People appreciate reliability. If you know you’re not going to feel up to something when it actually rolls around, don’t bother to commit!
16. You’re always giving unsolicited advice.
While you might think you’re being helpful, constantly offering advice when it’s not asked for can be annoying. Sometimes people just want to vent or share without receiving solutions. Learn to listen without always trying to fix things.
17. You’re not mindful of personal space.
Respecting other people’s personal boundaries is important. If you’re always standing too close, touching people without permission, or invading their space, it can make people uncomfortable. Be aware of social cues and respect people’s need for personal space. It’s really not that hard.
