There’s nothing wrong with tooting your own horn every now and again, but if your default mode is “total show-off”, it’s time to make a change.
No one likes bigheads who constantly feel the need to brag about their many wonderful accomplishments. Be proud of yourself, by all means, and don’t be shy about it, but maybe take a break sometimes and show a little humility. If you’re struggling, here are some practical tips that might help you out. Believe me, everyone around you will thank you.
1. Recognise when you’re showing off.
The first step is becoming aware of your behaviour. Pay attention to when you feel the urge to brag or draw attention to yourself. Notice the situations that trigger this impulse and how it makes you feel. Self-awareness is necessary for making changes and can help you catch yourself before you start showing off.
2. Understand why you feel the need to show off.
Dig deep and think about what’s driving your need for attention. Are you feeling insecure? Trying to impress someone? Once you understand the root cause, you can address it more effectively. Attention-seeking is often a sign that you’re chasing validation or approval from other people.
3. Listen more — and attentively.
Instead of waiting for your turn to speak and thinking about what impressive thing you’ll say next, really listen to other people. Focus on what they’re saying and ask thoughtful questions. Not only will this help curb your showing off, but it’ll also make you a better conversationalist and friend.
4. Share the credit and praise other people.
When you achieve something, resist the urge to take all the glory. Acknowledge the people who helped you along the way, and shift the spotlight to other people so you can celebrate their accomplishments too. Doing this not only reduces showing off, but also builds stronger relationships and a reputation for being a team player.
5. Use humour to deflect compliments sometimes.
If someone praises you, try responding with a bit of self-deprecating humour instead of launching into a list of your other achievements. A playful or witty comment can acknowledge the compliment without coming across as braggy. Just be careful not to overdo it — the goal is to be humble, not to put yourself down.
6. Focus on your actions, not your image.
Instead of trying to impress everyone with the things you say, let your actions speak for themselves. Concentrate on doing good work and being a decent person. People are more likely to respect and admire you for what you do rather than what you say about yourself. Shifting your focus can naturally reduce your tendency to show off.
7. Practise a bit of gratitude.
Regularly acknowledging what you’re thankful for can help put things in perspective because it shifts your focus from what you want others to see in you to what you appreciate about your life and the people in it. Try keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for.
8. Find fulfilment outside of other people’s opinions.
Work on building your self-esteem so that you don’t need constant external validation. Develop hobbies and interests that bring you joy, regardless of whether anyone else knows about them. The more content you are with yourself, the less you’ll feel the need to prove yourself to other people.
9. Challenge yourself to stay quiet.
Set yourself a challenge to go through a social situation without mentioning your accomplishments or trying to impress other people. See how it feels to simply be present without showcasing yourself. You might find it’s actually quite liberating not to feel the pressure to prove your worth constantly.
10. Reframe your achievements.
When you do talk about your successes, try to frame them in terms of what you learned or how you grew from the experience, rather than just the end result. This way, you share your experiences in a more relatable way and show that you value the journey as much as the destination.
11. Be more curious about other people.
Make a conscious effort to be genuinely interested in other people’s lives and experiences. Start by asking questions and really listening to the answers. The more invested you are in learning about other people, the less time and energy you’ll spend trying to impress them. Plus, you might discover some fascinating stories and make deeper connections.
12. Practise empathy.
Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes, and consider how your showing off might make them feel. Are you possibly making someone else feel inadequate or overshadowed? Developing empathy can help you become more considerate towards other people and naturally reduce braggy behaviour.
13. Ask friends you can trust for feedback.
Ask people you trust to give you honest feedback about your behaviour. They might notice patterns you’re not aware of or have insights into how your actions come across. Be open to their observations and use them as a tool for self-improvement. Remember, it takes courage to ask for this kind of feedback, so be kind to yourself in the process.
