Empathy is one of the most important qualities you can have, but not everyone does.

You might think you find it easy to put yourself in other people’s shoes, but true empathy goes way beyond just understanding where someone is coming from. In reality, you can’t call yourself an empathetic person unless you do these things.
1. You listen to people without interrupting them.

Empathy starts with truly hearing what people are saying. This means giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and resisting the urge to interrupt or offer solutions right away. It’s about creating a safe space where people feel heard and understood, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
2. You ask thoughtful questions to understand better.

Genuinely empathetic people don’t assume they know everything about someone’s situation. They ask open-ended questions to gain deeper insight into people’s experiences and feelings. Doing this shows you’re invested in understanding their perspective, not just superficially acknowledging it.
3. You validate people’s feelings, even if you disagree.

Being empathetic doesn’t mean you always agree with someone’s actions or opinions. However, it does mean recognising that their feelings are valid. Phrases like “I can see why you’d feel that way” or “That must be really tough” show you’re trying to understand their emotional experience.
4. You’re mindful of your body language.

Communication isn’t just verbal. Truly empathetic people are aware of their non-verbal cues. Maintaining an open posture, nodding in understanding, and mirroring the other person’s body language can help create a connection and show you’re fully engaged in the conversation.
5. You try to see things from different perspectives.

Empathy requires stepping out of your own shoes and into someone else’s. This means making a conscious effort to understand situations from various angles, even when they’re far removed from your own experiences. It’s about imagining how you might feel in their position, not just how you think they should feel.
6. You’re patient with people who are struggling.

Everyone processes emotions and situations differently. Empathetic people understand this and don’t rush people through their feelings or experiences. They provide support and understanding, allowing people the time and space they need to work through their emotions.
7. You offer help without being asked.

True empathy often leads to action. If you notice someone struggling, you don’t wait for them to ask for help. You proactively offer support in ways that are actually helpful to them, not just in ways that make you feel good about yourself.
8. You remember important details about people’s lives.

Empathetic people pay attention to what’s going on in other people’s lives and follow up on it. Remembering someone’s upcoming job interview or asking how their sick relative is doing shows you genuinely care about their experiences and emotions.
9. You’re aware of your own biases and try to overcome them.

We all have prejudices and preconceptions, but truly empathetic people recognise these in themselves and actively work to overcome them. This means being open to experiences and perspectives that challenge your worldview and being willing to admit when you’re wrong.
10. You celebrate other people’s successes without jealousy.

Empathy isn’t just about being there for people during tough times. It also means genuinely rejoicing in other people’s happiness and achievements, even when you might be struggling yourself. This shows you can put aside your own feelings to share in someone else’s joy.