You probably do everything you can to ensure you’re being a good partner, but that doesn’t mean you’re not falling short in some ways.
Your other half may never call you out on these things (likely because they’re not deal-breakers, by any means), but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt just a little when they happen. Here are some little disappointments you might be sending their way.
1. You forget to ask about their day.
It’s easy to get caught up in your own world, but forgetting to check in with your partner can make them feel overlooked. A simple “How was your day?” shows you care about their experiences and want to be involved in their life. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way in making your partner feel valued and connected.
2. You’re always on your phone during quality time.
We’re all guilty of this sometimes, but constantly scrolling through social media or responding to messages when you’re supposed to be spending time together can be hurtful. It sends the message that whatever’s on your screen is more important than your partner. Try to be more present and give them your undivided attention.
3. You don’t pull your weight with household chores.
Source: Unsplash Living together means sharing responsibilities. If you’re consistently leaving dishes in the sink or clothes on the floor, your partner might feel like they’re your housekeeper rather than your equal. Take initiative with chores without being asked — it shows you respect your shared space and your partner’s time.
4. You criticise their friends or family.
Even if you’re not fond of your partner’s loved ones, constantly pointing out their flaws can be hurtful. Remember, these people are important to your partner. Try to find something positive to say, or if you can’t, it’s sometimes better to keep your thoughts to yourself unless it’s a serious issue.
5. You don’t make an effort with your appearance.
While your partner loves you for who you are, completely letting yourself go can be disappointing. It’s not about looking perfect, but small efforts like showering regularly, wearing clean clothes, and taking care of your hygiene show that you value yourself and your relationship.
6. You interrupt them when they’re speaking.
Cutting your partner off mid-sentence can make them feel like their thoughts aren’t important to you. Even if you’re excited to share your own ideas, try to practice active listening. Let them finish their point before you jump in with yours. It shows respect and genuine interest in what they have to say.
7. You don’t show appreciation for the little things they do.
Whether it’s making you a cup of tea or picking up your favourite snack, failing to acknowledge these small acts of kindness can be disheartening. A simple “thank you” goes a long way in making your partner feel appreciated and motivated to continue these thoughtful gestures.
8. You compare your relationship to other people’s.
Constantly talking about how great your friends’ relationships are or how romantic other couples seem can make your partner feel inadequate. Every relationship is unique, and comparing yours to anyone else’s causes unnecessary pressure and insecurity. Focus on appreciating what you have together.
9. You don’t make an effort to get along with their friends.
Your partner’s friends are an important part of their life. If you’re always finding excuses not to hang out with them, or you’re cold when you do, it can put your partner in an awkward position. Try to be open and friendly, even if these aren’t people you’d choose as your own friends.
10. You don’t share your feelings openly.
Being emotionally distant or closed off can leave your partner feeling shut out. While it’s not always easy to be vulnerable, sharing your thoughts and feelings helps create intimacy and trust in your relationship. Your partner wants to know the real you, including your worries and fears.
11. You take them for granted.
It’s easy to become complacent in a long-term relationship, but assuming your partner will always be there, no matter what, can be risky. Make sure to regularly express your love and appreciation. Don’t let the comfort of your relationship turn into taking your partner for granted.
12. You don’t make an effort to remember important dates.
Forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, or other significant dates can be really hurtful. It’s not about grand gestures, but remembering and acknowledging these special days shows that you care about your shared history and the milestones in your partner’s life.
13. You don’t respect their need for alone time.
While quality time together is important, so is respecting each other’s need for space. If you’re always demanding attention or making your partner feel guilty for wanting some alone time, it can feel suffocating. Everyone needs time to recharge, pursue individual interests, or just be by themselves sometimes.
14. You don’t make an effort with their hobbies or interests.
You don’t have to love everything your partner does, but showing a genuine interest in their passions can mean a lot. Whether it’s listening to them talk about their favourite book or trying out their hobby once in a while, it shows you care about what’s important to them.
15. You don’t prioritise intimacy.
This isn’t just about physical intimacy, but also emotional closeness. If you’re always too tired or busy for cuddles, deep conversations, or intimate moments, your partner might feel neglected. Make time for connection, even if it’s just a few minutes of undivided attention each day.
16. You make decisions without consulting them.
In a partnership, major decisions should be made together. If you’re always making choices that affect both of you without discussing it first, your partner might feel sidelined. Whether it’s financial decisions or plans for the future, involve your partner in the process.
17. You don’t stand up for them in front of other people.
If someone is criticising or being unkind to your partner, and you stay silent, it can feel like a betrayal. Your partner wants to know you’ve got their back, even in uncomfortable situations. Standing up for them shows loyalty and that you’re a united front.
18. You don’t make an effort to grow together.
Relationships require effort and growth from both partners. If you’re not willing to work on yourself or the relationship, it can be disappointing. This could mean anything from addressing personal issues to trying new things together. Show your partner you’re committed to evolving both as an individual and as a couple.
