Generation Z, born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s, are living in a world that’s completely different from their grandparents and even their parents.
In terms of relationships and their sexuality, many are questioning traditional norms, including monogamy. And no, this isn’t a passing trend; it’s rooted in changing values and a desire for personal freedom. From polyamory to relationship anarchy, Gen Z is exploring a spectrum of romantic and sexual arrangements that challenge conventional ideas of partnership. Here’s why they’re saying ‘no’ to monogamy more and more.
1. They’ve grown up with more diverse relationship models.
Through media, online communities, and increasingly open discussions about sexuality, they’ve seen alternatives to traditional monogamy normalised. This exposure has made them more likely to question whether monogamy is the only valid option. Many Gen Zers have friends or family members in open relationships or polyamorous arrangements, making these choices feel more accessible and acceptable. As a result, they’re more inclined to explore different relationship dynamics rather than automatically defaulting to monogamy.
2. They prioritise personal growth and independence.
For many Gen Zers, the idea of tying themselves to one person for life feels limiting. They value personal growth, career development, and individual experiences highly. Non-monogamous relationships can offer the flexibility to pursue personal goals while still maintaining meaningful connections. This generation often sees their 20s and early 30s as a time for self-discovery and experimentation, not settling down. By exploring different relationship structures, they feel they can continue to grow as individuals without the constraints they associate with traditional monogamy.
3. They’re more open about mental health and emotional needs.
Gen Z has grown up in an era of increased awareness and discussion around mental health. They’re more likely to acknowledge and address their emotional needs openly. For some, this means recognising that one person may not be able to fulfil all their emotional and physical needs. Non-monogamous relationships can allow for a diverse support network and different types of connections. This generation often views having multiple partners as a way to create a more robust emotional support system, rather than relying solely on one person for all forms of intimacy and care.
4. They’re challenging heteronormative relationship structures.
Gen Z is the most LGBTQ+ inclusive generation to date, with many identifying as queer or questioning traditional sexual and gender norms. This openness extends to relationship structures. They’re more likely to see monogamy as part of a heteronormative system that doesn’t necessarily align with their identities or desires. For many of them, exploring non-monogamy is a way to reject societal expectations and create relationship models that better reflect their understanding of gender, sexuality, and love. This shift is about creating authentic connections that aren’t limited by traditional gender roles or expectations.
5. They’ve witnessed high divorce rates and relationship dissatisfaction.
Source: Pexels Many of them have grown up watching their parents’ generation struggle with high divorce rates and relationship dissatisfaction. This has made them sceptical of traditional monogamy as a guarantee of lifelong happiness or stability. Instead of viewing divorce as a failure, they’re proactively seeking relationship structures that they believe might be more sustainable long-term. Some see non-monogamy as a way to avoid the pitfalls they’ve observed in monogamous relationships, such as infidelity or growing apart over time. This generation is often more focused on creating honest, communicative relationships rather than adhering to a specific relationship structure.
6. They value transparency and open communication.
Gen Z places a high premium on honesty and authenticity in all aspects of life, including relationships. Non-monogamous arrangements often require extensive communication about boundaries, expectations, and feelings. For many Gen Zers, this level of openness is appealing and aligns with their values. They’re more likely to have frank discussions about desires, jealousy, and needs, viewing these conversations as healthy rather than taboo. This generation often sees the communication skills developed in non-monogamous relationships as valuable for personal growth and building stronger connections, regardless of the relationship structure.
7. They’re influenced by social media and dating apps.
Source: Unsplash The prevalence of social media and dating apps has significantly impacted how Gen Z views relationships. These platforms have made it easier to connect with multiple people simultaneously, blurring the lines of traditional courtship. The constant exposure to potential partners can make the idea of committing to just one person feel limiting. Additionally, social media has created communities where non-monogamous lifestyles are celebrated and normalised, providing support and resources for those interested in exploring these relationship structures.
8. They’re rejecting the idea of ownership in relationships.
Gen Z often views traditional monogamy as rooted in outdated notions of possession and control. They’re more likely to emphasise personal autonomy and reject the idea that being in a relationship means “belonging” to someone else. Non-monogamous relationships appeal to this sense of independence, allowing for connections without the expectation of exclusivity. This generation tends to place more value on trust and mutual respect than on traditional markers of commitment like sexual exclusivity. For many, the freedom to form multiple connections is seen as a more authentic expression of love and care.
9. They’re embracing a more fluid approach to sexuality.
Source: Unsplash Gen Z is increasingly rejecting rigid labels when it comes to sexuality. Many identify as pansexual, demisexual, or simply “fluid,” recognising that their attractions may change over time. This fluidity extends to their approach to relationships. Non-monogamous arrangements allow them to explore different aspects of their sexuality without feeling constrained by a single partner or identity. For many Gen Zers, the ability to form connections with people regardless of gender or sexual orientation is an important part of their self-expression. They view non-monogamy as a natural extension of this fluidity, allowing for diverse experiences and connections.
10. They’re prioritising experiences over traditional life milestones.
Source: Unsplash Unlike previous generations, many Gen Zers are less focused on traditional life milestones like marriage, homeownership, or having children by a certain age. Instead, they prioritise collecting diverse experiences and personal growth. Non-monogamous relationships can offer a wider range of emotional and physical experiences without the pressure of working towards conventional relationship “goals”. This generation often views their 20s and 30s as a time for exploration and self-discovery, rather than settling down. The flexibility of non-monogamous arrangements aligns with their desire to keep options open and avoid feeling “tied down” too early in life.
11. They’re more aware of the potential benefits of non-monogamy.
Source: Unsplash Gen Z has access to a wealth of information about different relationship styles, including research on the potential benefits of non-monogamy. They’re more likely to be aware of concepts like compersion (feeling joy from a partner’s other relationships) and the potential for personal growth through managing jealousy. Many are drawn to the idea that non-monogamous relationships can encourage better communication skills, increase self-awareness, and provide a broader support network.
12. They’re challenging the idea that jealousy is a sign of love.
Source: Unsplash Unlike previous generations that often equated jealousy with love and commitment, Gen Z is more likely to view excessive jealousy as unhealthy. They’re challenging the notion that wanting your partner to yourself is a sign of deep affection. Instead, many Gen Zers see the ability to be happy for their partner’s other connections as a sign of emotional maturity and genuine love. This shift in perspective makes non-monogamous arrangements more appealing, as they provide opportunities to work through jealousy and develop more secure attachments. For many, overcoming jealousy is seen as a personal growth opportunity rather than an insurmountable obstacle.
13. They’re more focused on building community than nuclear families.
Source: Unsplash Gen Z often places high value on building and maintaining diverse communities, rather than focusing solely on a nuclear family unit. Non-monogamous relationships can allow for the creation of larger, more interconnected social networks. These expanded relationship structures can provide a sense of belonging and support that extends beyond a single partner. Many Gen Zers see this as a more sustainable and fulfilling way to build long-term connections and support systems. They’re reimagining what family can look like, often including chosen family and multiple partners in their vision of a fulfilling life.
14. They’re rejecting the pressure to find “The One”.
Source: Unsplash The concept of finding a single soulmate or “The One” feels outdated and unrealistic to many Gen Zers. They’re more likely to believe that different people can fulfil different needs at different times in their lives. Non-monogamous relationships allow for the possibility of multiple meaningful connections without the pressure of finding one person to be everything. This generation often views the idea of a single perfect match as an unnecessary limitation and source of anxiety. By embracing non-monogamy, they’re creating space for multiple important relationships, each valued for its unique qualities rather than measured against an idealised standard of “The One”.
