Taking time to consider your words before blurting them out is generally a good thing.
However, some people never got that memo, and instead they say things without even considering how they’ll affect the person they’re speaking to. Here are some of the phrases you’re likely to hear coming out of their mouths.
1. “No offence, but…”
Buckle up because offence is definitely coming. This phrase is the verbal equivalent of a warning shot before they launch into something incredibly insulting. It’s like they think these magic words give them a free pass to be as rude as they want.
2. “I’m not racist, but…”
Spoiler alert: what follows is almost always racist. It’s as if they believe this disclaimer somehow negates the prejudiced statement they’re about to make. Newsflash: it doesn’t. It just makes it painfully obvious that they know they shouldn’t say it, but they’re going to anyway.
3. “You look tired.”
Translation: “You look awful.” This backhanded comment is rarely helpful and often just makes the recipient feel self-conscious. Unless you’re offering a nap or a coffee, maybe keep this observation to yourself.
4. “Is it that time of the month?”
A guaranteed way to dismiss someone’s legitimate feelings and potentially get yourself smacked. This phrase is not only insensitive but also wildly inappropriate in most situations. It’s sexist, reductive, and guaranteed to make any situation worse.
5. “You’ve lost/gained weight!”
Bodies change, and pointing it out unsolicited is rarely a good idea. Whether it’s meant as a compliment or not, this comment can be incredibly triggering for many people. Weight is a sensitive topic, and unless someone brings it up themselves, it’s best left unmentioned.
6. “When are you having kids?”
This question is a minefield of potential hurt. Fertility struggles, personal choice, financial issues — there are countless reasons why this question is inappropriate. It’s not small talk; it’s an invasion of privacy wrapped in casual conversation.
7. “You’re so skinny, you need to eat more!”
Source: Pexels Body comments go both ways. This phrase is just as inappropriate as telling someone they need to lose weight. It’s presumptuous, potentially hurtful, and ignores the complexities of body types and health.
8. “Why are you still single?”
Source: Unsplash As if being single is a problem that needs solving. This question implies there’s something wrong with not being in a relationship. It’s invasive and often puts the recipient in an awkward position of having to defend their life choices.
9. “You don’t look [insert age]!”
Source: Unsplash While often meant as a compliment, this can backfire spectacularly. It implies that looking one’s age is a bad thing and can make people feel self-conscious about their appearance. Age is just a number, not a compliment or insult.
10. “It’s just a joke, don’t be so sensitive.”
Source: Unsplash The battle cry of people who’ve said something offensive and don’t want to take responsibility for it. If you have to explain that something’s a joke, it probably wasn’t funny. This phrase dismisses the other person’s feelings and tries to make them the problem.
11. “You’re not like other girls/guys.”
Source: Unsplash This backhanded compliment is actually an insult to an entire gender. It implies that most men or women are somehow inferior, and the person they’re talking to is an exception. It’s not flattering; it’s just sexist.
12. “Are you pregnant?”
Source: Unsplash Unless you can actually see a baby crowning, never ask this question. It’s a potential landmine of embarrassment and hurt feelings. If someone is pregnant and wants you to know, they’ll tell you.
13. “You’d be so pretty if…”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is never followed by anything good. It’s a criticism disguised as advice, and it’s incredibly hurtful. It suggests that the person isn’t good enough as they are and needs to change to meet someone else’s standards of beauty.
14. “Who wears the pants in your relationship?”
Source: Unsplash This outdated phrase implies that relationships are about power struggles rather than partnerships. It’s sexist, promotes unhealthy relationship dynamics, and is generally none of anyone’s business.
15. “You’re too young/old to…”
Source: Unsplash Age-based gatekeeping at its finest. This phrase dismisses people’s experiences, choices, or feelings based solely on their age. It’s patronising and often wildly inaccurate. Age doesn’t define capability or desire.
16. “You don’t look like you’re from [insert place].”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often rooted in stereotypes and can be incredibly offensive. It implies that there’s a “look” associated with being from a certain place, ignoring the diversity that exists within countries and cultures.
17. “I thought you were smarter than that.”
Source: Unsplash A condescending way to express disappointment or disagreement. It’s insulting and dismissive, implying that the person’s actions or beliefs are somehow indicative of low intelligence.
18. “You’re too pretty to be smart.”
Source: Unsplash The idea that beauty and brains are mutually exclusive is not just outdated, it’s flat-out wrong. This phrase manages to be sexist and insulting to both the person’s appearance and intelligence simultaneously.
19. “I didn’t expect you to be good at this.”
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s because of gender, age, race, or any other factor, this backhanded compliment reveals more about the speaker’s prejudices than the recipient’s abilities. It’s always better to appreciate skill without expressing surprise.
20. “You’d look better if you smiled.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often directed at women and is incredibly patronising. It suggests that their primary purpose is to look pleasing to other people, ignoring their feelings or circumstances. People aren’t ornaments, and they don’t owe anyone a smile.
21. “Is that what you’re wearing?”
Source: Unsplash Unless you’re genuinely asking out of curiosity (which is rare), this phrase is usually a thinly veiled criticism of someone’s outfit choice. It’s judgmental and can make people feel self-conscious about their appearance.
22. “You’re not like I expected.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase reveals more about the speaker’s preconceptions than anything else. It can be offensive, especially if it’s based on stereotypes about race, gender, or other characteristics. It’s better to approach people without expectations and get to know them as individuals.
