I’ll be honest with you and say I think it’s ridiculous that a woman should ever have to change her behaviour in order to attract a man.
However, there are certain habits and behaviours that are unattractive or even toxic, no matter who’s doing them, and they’re bound to repel even those who were truly interested at first. If you’re guilty of any of these things, you may want to change your ways if you don’t want to stay single forever. After all, you wouldn’t put up with them either, would you?
1. Playing hard to get
A bit of mystery can be intriguing, but if you’re constantly unavailable or unresponsive, he might just give up. There’s a fine line between being independent and seeming uninterested. If he feels like he’s always chasing, he might decide it’s not worth the effort.
2. Constantly comparing him to your ex
Nobody wants to feel like they’re in competition with a ghost from the past. If you’re always bringing up how your ex did this or that, it’s going to wear thin pretty quickly. He wants to feel like he’s his own person, not a replacement or an upgrade.
3. Trying to change him from day one
If you’re picking apart his wardrobe or trying to overhaul his personality from the get-go, he’s likely to feel like you don’t accept him as he is. Sure, people grow and change in relationships, but it should be natural, not forced.
4. Being overly clingy or needy
Everyone likes to feel wanted, but there’s a limit. If you’re constantly demanding his attention or can’t spend any time apart, it can feel suffocating. A bit of space in a relationship is healthy. You should still have your own life outside of the relationship!
5. Never showing appreciation
If he feels like his efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated, he might stop making an effort altogether. A simple “thank you” or acknowledgment can go a long way in keeping someone interested and invested. No one wants to feel like they’re being taken for granted.
6. Always being on your phone
If you’re constantly glued to your screen when you’re together, it sends the message that whatever’s on your phone is more interesting than he is. Being present in the moment is important for connection. What’s happening on TikTok or Instagram can’t be that exciting.
7. Gossiping about people like it’s your job
A bit of gossip here and there is normal, but if you’re always talking badly about people, he might wonder what you say about him when he’s not around. It can come across as mean-spirited and unattractive, not to mention incredibly immature. Find some better topics of conversation.
8. Being dishonest, even about small things
Trust is vital in any relationship — you know that by now. If he catches you in little lies, he’ll start to question the big things, too. Honesty really is the best policy, even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. It’s not that hard!
9. Constantly fishing for compliments
It’s nice to feel appreciated, but if you’re always angling for praise, it can get tiresome. Confidence is attractive — fishing for compliments can come across as insecure. Obviously, everyone appreciates a bit of reassurance, but it shouldn’t be a daily requirement.
10. Never having an opinion
Always deferring to him or saying “I don’t mind” might seem easy-going at first, but it can get frustrating. Having your own thoughts and preferences makes you interesting. He wants a partner, not a yes-woman. If you legitimately don’t know what you want or like, find out!
11. Being rude to service staff
How you treat other people, especially those in service positions, says a lot about you. If you’re constantly rude to waiters or shop assistants, it’s a major red flag. It shows a lack of respect and empathy, and no one wants to be with someone like that.
12. Talking about marriage and kids too soon.
While it’s good to be on the same page about future goals, bringing up marriage and kids on the second date can be overwhelming. Let things develop naturally without putting too much pressure on the future. Que sera, sera, as they say.
13. Never taking responsibility for your mistakes
If you always have an excuse or blame others for your mistakes, it’s not a good look. Being able to admit when you’re wrong and apologise is an attractive quality. It shows maturity and self-awareness.
14. Being overly jealous or possessive
A little jealousy can be flattering, but if you’re constantly accusing him of cheating or getting upset when he talks to other women, it’s going to push him away. Trust is essential in a relationship. If you have none in him, you probably shouldn’t be together.
15. Neglecting your own interests and friends
While it’s great to spend time together, completely abandoning your own life for him isn’t healthy. Having your own interests and friendships makes you more well-rounded and interesting. Plus, it gives you both time away from each other, so you have more to talk about when you are back together.
16. Always expecting him to foot the bill
It’s nice when a man offers to pay, but always expecting it can come across as entitled. Offering to split the bill or treating him occasionally shows that you value equality and don’t take him for granted.
17. Constantly talking about yourself
Conversation should be a two-way street. If you’re always dominating the conversation with stories about yourself, he might feel like you’re not interested in getting to know him. Be curious about what makes him tick, ask him questions, and really listen to his answers.
18. Being overly critical
Constructive criticism is one thing, but if you’re always pointing out his flaws or things he does wrong, it’s going to wear him down. Nobody wants to feel like they’re constantly falling short.
19. Playing mind games
Source: Unsplash Testing him or playing hot and cold to see how he’ll react is manipulative and exhausting. Straightforward communication is much more appealing than trying to deal with mind games. You’re no longer in school, so it’s time to act your age.
20. Never compromising
Relationships involve give and take. If you always insist on having your way, it can come across as selfish. Being willing to compromise shows that you value his feelings and opinions too. You have to be willing to meet him halfway, or you’ll never have an equal relationship.
21. Trying too hard to impress
While it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward, pretending to be someone you’re not is unsustainable. Authenticity is attractive. He wants to get to know the real you, quirks and all. Let your freak flag fly!
