When love is going well, it’s amazing; when it’s bad, it’s downright awful.
If you’re wondering whether your partner truly values you, it’s easy to get caught in a spiral of self-doubt. So, let’s have a heart-to-heart and explore some subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs that might suggest your partner isn’t cherishing you the way you deserve.
1. They dismiss your feelings and opinions.
Ever feel like your thoughts and emotions bounce off your partner like they’re Teflon-coated? It’s not cool when your concerns are brushed off, minimised, or met with indifference. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and validation of each other’s feelings, even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye.
2. They don’t make time for you.
We all have busy lives, but making time for your partner is crucial for a thriving relationship. If they consistently cancel plans, forget important dates, or seem more interested in their phone than you, it’s a red flag. It can make you feel unimportant and like you’re not a priority in their life.
3. They criticise you more than they compliment you.
Constructive feedback is one thing, but a constant barrage of criticism can chip away at your self-esteem. If your partner seems more focused on your flaws than your strengths, it can leave you feeling unappreciated and inadequate. A loving partner should be your biggest cheerleader, not your harshest critic.
4. They don’t make you feel safe to be yourself.
A healthy relationship is a safe haven where you can be your true, authentic self, quirks and all. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner or hide parts of yourself to avoid judgment or conflict, it’s a sign that something’s not right. You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are, not who they want you to be.
5. They’re emotionally unavailable.
When you need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, is your partner there for you? If they consistently shut down emotionally, avoid difficult conversations, or dismiss your feelings, it can create a sense of isolation and loneliness. Emotional intimacy is crucial for a healthy relationship, and without it, you might feel like you’re drifting apart.
6. They make you feel like you’re constantly competing for their attention.
Do you feel like you’re always vying for your partner’s attention against their friends, work, hobbies, or even their phone? If you’re always left feeling like an afterthought, it can destroy your confidence and leave you questioning your place in their life. A loving partner should make you feel cherished and prioritised, not like you’re fighting for scraps of their time.
7. They don’t celebrate your successes or milestones.
When you achieve something amazing, do they share in your joy and celebrate your wins? If they seem indifferent, dismissive, or even envious of your accomplishments, it can be demoralising. A supportive partner should be your biggest fan, cheering you on every step of the way and taking pride in your achievements.
8. They take you for granted.
Do they assume you’ll always be there, no matter how they treat you? Do they neglect your needs, forget important dates, or fail to show appreciation for the things you do? Being taken for granted can leave you feeling invisible and unappreciated. You deserve a partner who values your presence and recognises the contributions you make to their life.
9. They don’t make an effort to understand your perspective.
Every relationship has disagreements, but a loving partner will try to understand where you’re coming from, even if they don’t agree. If they consistently dismiss your viewpoint, refuse to compromise, or make you feel like your feelings don’t matter, it can create resentment and a sense of distance.
10. They make you feel insecure or anxious about the relationship.
A healthy relationship should feel safe and secure. If you’re constantly worried about your partner’s loyalty, commitment, or affection, it can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel loved, cherished, and confident in the relationship.
11. They don’t apologise or take responsibility for their mistakes.
Everyone messes up sometimes, it’s part of being human. But if your partner consistently refuses to apologise, blames you for their mistakes, or makes excuses, it’s a major red flag. A healthy relationship involves taking ownership of your actions and making amends when you’ve hurt someone you care about.
12. They make you feel guilty for having needs or expressing your desires.
Whether it’s wanting more quality time together, needing emotional support, or expressing your sexual desires, your needs are valid. If your partner makes you feel guilty, selfish, or needy for voicing them, it’s a sign of a power imbalance in the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who respects your needs and wants to see you happy.
13. They isolate you from your friends and family.
A healthy relationship should complement your existing support network, not replace it. If your partner discourages you from spending time with your friends and family, or makes you feel guilty for wanting to maintain those connections, it’s a major warning sign. Isolation can be a tactic used to control and manipulate you.
14. They try to control your choices and decisions.
A loving partner will support your independence and encourage you to make your own choices. If your partner tries to dictate what you wear, who you spend time with, or what career path you pursue, it’s a sign of a controlling and unhealthy relationship. You deserve to be with someone who trusts and respects your autonomy.
15. They’ve broken your trust multiple times.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If your partner has repeatedly lied, cheated, or betrayed your confidence, it can be difficult to rebuild that trust. While forgiveness is possible, it’s important to consider whether the relationship is salvageable and if it’s truly making you happy.
16. You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around them.
Do you feel like you have to censor yourself, hide your true feelings, or constantly worry about upsetting your partner? If your relationship feels like a minefield of emotional triggers, it’s not a healthy dynamic. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel safe, loved, and free to be yourself.
17. You feel drained and unhappy more often than not.
A loving relationship should bring joy, support, and fulfilment to your life. If you’re constantly feeling drained, unhappy, or anxious around your partner, it’s a sign that something isn’t right. Trust your gut and consider whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being. You deserve to be happy, and sometimes that means letting go of what no longer serves you.
18. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Everyone has boundaries, and a respectful partner will acknowledge and honour them. If your partner consistently pushes your boundaries, dismisses your needs, or makes you feel guilty for saying “no,” it’s a major red flag. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding.
19. They make you feel like you’re not good enough.
A loving partner should uplift you and make you feel valued. If your partner constantly belittles you, compares you to other people, or makes you feel like you’re not good enough, it can chip away at your self-esteem. You deserve to be with someone who sees your worth and celebrates your strengths.
20. You’ve lost yourself in the relationship.
Have you sacrificed your own interests, hobbies, and passions to please your partner? Do you feel like you’ve lost your sense of self in the relationship? It’s important to maintain your individuality and pursue your own goals. A healthy relationship involves two whole individuals, not two halves trying to make a whole.
