Relationships should feel like a two-way street, a partnership where both people contribute and benefit equally.
However, sometimes we find ourselves in one-sided relationships, where we’re putting in much more effort than our partner. These unbalanced dynamics can be emotionally draining and leave us feeling unappreciated and neglected. So, how can you tell if you’re stuck in a one-sided relationship? Keep your eyes peeled for these red flags that might indicate you’re carrying more than your fair share of the weight.
1. You always initiate contact and make plans.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s texting, calling, or suggesting dates, you’re always the one making the first move. Your partner rarely reaches out on their own, and if you stop initiating, communication dwindles. It feels like you’re constantly chasing them, and the effort feels one-sided.
2. They rarely prioritise your needs or feelings.
Your needs and wants often take a back seat to theirs. They might cancel plans at the last minute, forget important dates, or dismiss your concerns. You feel like your feelings don’t matter as much as theirs, and your efforts to communicate your needs are often met with indifference or annoyance.
3. You’re always the one apologising, even when it’s not your fault.
Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but in a one-sided dynamic, you often find yourself apologising even when you’ve done nothing wrong. You might overanalyse your actions and words, blaming yourself for their reactions. This pattern of self-blame can kill your self-esteem and leave you feeling responsible for their happiness.
4. You feel drained and emotionally exhausted.
One-sided relationships can be incredibly draining. You’re constantly giving, compromising, and adjusting to their needs, leaving little energy for yourself. You might feel emotionally exhausted, resentful, and unappreciated. The constant effort to maintain the relationship can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being.
5. They’re not interested in your life or your passions.
They rarely ask about your day, your interests, or your goals. They might even roll their eyes or change the subject when you try to share something important to you. You feel like they don’t truly care about your life or your passions, and your attempts to connect with them on a deeper level are often met with disinterest.
6. They don’t make time for you.
You feel like you’re constantly working around their schedule. They’re always busy with other commitments, and quality time together is rare. When you do manage to spend time together, it feels rushed or obligatory. You crave more meaningful connection, but it seems like they’re not willing or able to make time for you.
7. You make excuses for their behaviour.
You find yourself justifying their actions to yourself and everyone else. You might say, “They’re just busy,” or “They didn’t mean it that way.” You downplay their shortcomings and make excuses for their lack of effort, hoping that things will change. However, deep down, you know that their behaviour is unacceptable and that you deserve better.
8. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Source: Unsplash You’re constantly worried about upsetting them or causing conflict. You censor your words and actions, afraid of their reactions. You feel like you can’t be yourself around them, and you’re constantly second-guessing yourself. This constant state of anxiety can be incredibly draining and destroy your sense of self-worth.
9. They don’t celebrate your achievements or show genuine interest in your success.
Source: Unsplash When you share good news or accomplishments, their response is lukewarm or dismissive. They might change the subject quickly or offer a half-hearted “that’s nice.” You crave their support and encouragement, but it feels like they’re not genuinely invested in your happiness or success.
10. You feel like you’re constantly giving and they’re always taking.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s emotional support, practical help, or material things, you’re always the one giving more. They rarely reciprocate your efforts or offer to help you in return. You feel like you’re being taken for granted, and your generosity is not being appreciated or valued.
11. They don’t make an effort to understand your perspective.
Source: Unsplash In disagreements or misunderstandings, they quickly jump to conclusions and assume the worst. They don’t try to see things from your point of view or empathise with your feelings. You feel like your voice isn’t being heard, and your attempts to explain yourself are met with defensiveness or dismissal.
12. They’re critical and judgmental of your choices.
Source: Unsplash They often criticise your decisions, your friends, or your lifestyle. They make you feel like you can’t do anything right, and their constant judgment eats away at your confidence. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, afraid of their disapproval or criticism.
13. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Whether it’s personal space, time alone, or emotional boundaries, they consistently disregard your needs and limits. They might pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with, ignore your requests for space, or invalidate your feelings. You feel like your boundaries are not being respected, and your attempts to assert them are met with resistance or dismissal.
14. You feel like you’re constantly compromising and they’re not.
Compromise is a natural part of any relationship, but in a one-sided dynamic, you’re always the one making concessions. You give up your own needs and desires to accommodate theirs, while they rarely reciprocate. You feel like you’re constantly sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of the relationship.
15. They take you for granted.
You feel like they assume you’ll always be there, no matter what. They don’t express gratitude for your efforts or acknowledge your contributions to the relationship. You feel unappreciated and undervalued, like your presence in their life is a given rather than a gift.
16. They don’t support your dreams or ambitions.
Whether it’s a career goal, a creative pursuit, or a personal ambition, they don’t seem interested or invested in your dreams. They might even discourage you or belittle your efforts. You feel like you’re not getting the support you need to pursue your passions and reach your full potential.
17. They prioritise their friends and family over you.
You feel like you’re always at the bottom of their priority list. They consistently choose to spend time with their friends or family over you, leaving you feeling neglected and unimportant. You crave their attention and affection, but it seems like they’re not willing or able to prioritise you in their life.
18. They don’t make you feel loved or appreciated.
Despite your efforts to show them love and affection, you rarely feel it reciprocated. They don’t express their love verbally or through actions. You crave their warmth and affection, but you’re often met with indifference or distance. This lack of emotional connection can leave you feeling lonely and unfulfilled in the relationship.
19. You feel like you’re carrying the weight of the relationship alone.
Whether it’s emotional support, planning, or decision-making, you feel like you’re doing most of the heavy lifting. You’re constantly initiating, compromising, and making sacrifices, while they seem content to coast along and reap the benefits. This imbalance can lead to resentment and feelings of exhaustion.
20. You’ve tried to talk to them about it, but nothing changes.
You’ve expressed your concerns and tried to communicate your needs, but your partner hasn’t made any meaningful changes. They might promise to do better, but their actions don’t align with their words. You feel unheard and unseen, and your attempts to improve the relationship are met with resistance or apathy.
