New relationships can feel exciting, hopeful, and sometimes a bit intense.
You’re trying to figure out if this could really be something, and in the middle of all that, it’s easy to slip into patterns of behaviour that seem harmless at first but will ultimately destroy your connection. Some of them are rooted in past hurt, others in fear, but either way, they can get in the way of building something healthy. Here are just some of the habits worth keeping in check when you’re starting fresh with someone new.
1. Oversharing too soon
It’s tempting to lay everything on the table early on, especially if you’re craving honesty and depth. But dumping your entire life story on someone in the first week can feel overwhelming, even if your intention is connection. There’s nothing wrong with being open—just pace it. Give the relationship space to grow naturally without trying to fast-forward to instant intimacy. A little mystery isn’t a bad thing.
2. Playing it cool when you actually care
Trying to seem unfazed or aloof might protect your pride, but it can also confuse the other person. If you’re into someone but act like you couldn’t care less, they’re not going to get the full picture. It’s okay to show interest. You don’t have to play games or hide your feelings just to seem chill. If you’re excited about someone, let them know without going overboard.
3. Constantly talking about your ex
Bringing up past relationships here and there is normal, but if your ex becomes a recurring character in your stories, that’s a problem. It makes your current person feel like there’s a third wheel in the room. You don’t have to pretend your past didn’t happen, by any means. Just don’t let it take over the present. If you’re still processing, that’s okay. However, maybe hold off on diving into a new connection until you’ve got some distance from your last one.
4. Testing their loyalty too early
Subtle tests like ignoring texts, making them jealous, or fishing for reassurance can quietly erode trust. You might be trying to see if they care, but all they’ll see is inconsistency. If you’re unsure where you stand, ask. Don’t make them prove things through games or manipulation. It’s way easier to build something solid when both people feel safe and seen.
5. Rushing into labels or timelines
It’s natural to want clarity—are we exclusive? Are we official? Are we on the same page? The problem is, forcing those conversations too early can create unnecessary pressure. Let things breathe. If you’re both genuinely connecting, the conversations will happen at the right time. Pushing for answers too soon can make things feel more like a checklist than a connection.
6. Ignoring red flags to keep the peace
In the early stages, it’s easy to give people the benefit of the doubt, and sometimes that’s fair. But if someone’s showing signs of disrespect, poor communication, or controlling behaviour, don’t brush it off just because everything else seems great. Small issues in the beginning often grow bigger down the line. Trust your gut. You don’t need to create drama, but you also don’t need to stick around hoping someone will magically change.
7. Making them responsible for your happiness
It’s lovely when someone makes you feel good, but they shouldn’t become your main source of joy or validation. That puts too much pressure on the relationship and can create imbalance fast. Your emotional stability is still your own job, especially early on. A healthy relationship adds to your life, but it doesn’t become the whole thing.
8. Going all-in with no boundaries
It’s great to be open-hearted, but some people dive in so fast they lose their sense of self. If you cancel plans, reshape your schedule, or put everything else on hold for a new person, it’s not romantic—it’s risky. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re what keep relationships from burning out. Keep your life intact while letting someone new into it.
9. Reading into every little thing
New relationships come with uncertainty, but constantly overanalysing texts, tone, or response times will drive you (and them) mad. Not everything is a sign. Try not to spiral after every slightly different emoji or delay in reply. Let things unfold without assigning meaning to every small change. Curiosity beats panic every time.
10. Putting them on a pedestal
It’s easy to idealise someone when everything is new and exciting. However, if you start convincing yourself they’re perfect, you might ignore who they actually are in favour of who you want them to be. Keep it grounded. It’s okay to be impressed—just stay realistic. Nobody is flawless, and seeing someone clearly is more romantic than blind admiration anyway.
11. Avoiding honest conversations
You might not want to rock the boat early on, but dodging important chats about needs, boundaries, or intentions won’t help in the long run. The longer you avoid being real, the harder it gets to build trust. Being upfront doesn’t have to mean being intense. Just keep it casual, honest, and kind. A little clarity goes a long way, even in the early days.
12. Treating them like your therapist
It’s great to be vulnerable, but if you start leaning on a new partner for all your emotional processing, it can create an imbalance, especially if they’re not equipped to hold that kind of weight. Healthy relationships include support, but they don’t replace therapy or self-reflection. Make sure you’re not asking someone new to carry something that isn’t theirs to hold.
13. Expecting them to be available all the time
In the honeymoon stage, it’s normal to want constant connection, but expecting them to reply instantly, hang out every day, or be emotionally “on” all the time isn’t sustainable. Everyone needs space, and giving it actually strengthens the relationship. Being close doesn’t mean being glued together 24/7.
14. Pretending to be more chill than you are
If something bothers you, say it. Playing the “cool, low-maintenance” role when you’re actually annoyed, hurt, or confused will only cause problems later. It’s better to speak up gently than to bottle things up until they explode. The right person won’t be scared off by your honesty—they’ll appreciate it.
15. Snooping or “just checking” their socials
Curiosity is natural, but if you’re already deep-diving into their Instagram comments or checking who they’re following every day, it might be worth asking why. Early on, trust has to be chosen before it’s earned. If you’re already suspicious, that might be more about past baggage than this new person. Don’t bring detective energy into something that hasn’t even had time to grow.
16. Trying to fix them
If you’ve already spotted their flaws and started imagining how you’ll “help” them change, take a step back. Relationships aren’t rescue missions, and love doesn’t require fixing someone. Support is lovely, but the urge to tweak or improve someone often comes from discomfort with accepting them as they are. Start with acceptance—change, if needed, is their job.
17. Expecting things to move at your pace only
Just because you’re feeling ready for something serious doesn’t mean they’re on the exact same timeline. That doesn’t mean they’re not into you; they might just need a little more time to process things their way. Respecting each other’s pace is key. The goal isn’t to win a race—it’s to land in the same place with mutual understanding, even if you get there a bit differently.
18. Keeping score
Whether it’s who texts first, who plans dates, or who “cares more,” keeping a mental scoreboard kills connection. It turns something warm into a competition, and that never ends well. If you’re feeling like things are one-sided, it’s okay to talk about it. However, passive-aggressively waiting for them to “prove” something rarely leads to anything good.
19. Ignoring your gut because you really want it to work
Sometimes the vibe isn’t quite right, but you keep pushing because you want it to be. You explain things away, overlook patterns, or convince yourself it’ll settle in with time. It’s hard, but if something doesn’t feel good, even early on, it’s okay to listen to that. Wanting it to work doesn’t mean it actually will. Don’t mute your instincts for the sake of potential.
20. Letting your fear of messing it up keep you guarded
If you’ve been hurt before, it’s natural to tread carefully. However, if you’re too guarded, it can stop the other person from really getting to know you, and that creates distance where you were hoping for closeness. New love always carries a risk. You don’t have to dive in headfirst, but you do have to show up as yourself. Being cautious is smart, but don’t let it stop you from being real.
