Life’s too short to be surrounded by people who drain your energy and bring negativity into your world.
It’s important to save your sanity, prioritise your health, and surround yourself with people who actually add something to your life. Sometimes, cutting ties with toxic people is the best way to move forward and create a positive environment for yourself. Here’s how to do it.
1. Gradually reduce communication.
One of the easiest and least confrontational ways to create distance is by slowly decreasing the frequency and intensity of your interactions. Start by taking longer to respond to their texts or calls, and be less available for spontaneous hangouts. This allows for a gentle fade-out without a dramatic confrontation. Over time, they’ll likely get the hint.
2. Establish firm boundaries.
If a complete cut-off seems too harsh or sudden, setting clear boundaries can be an effective middle ground. Be direct about what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate. For instance, you might say, “I appreciate our friendship, but I need to set some boundaries around negativity and gossip.” If they continually cross those lines, you’ll have a valid reason to distance yourself further.
3. Be honest about your feelings.
Sometimes, the most direct approach is the most effective. If you feel comfortable, explain to the person why you’re creating distance. You don’t need to go into excruciating detail, but a simple, “I feel like our energies don’t align any more, and I need to focus on my own well-being” can be enough. Honesty can be liberating for both of you, and it might even prompt some self-reflection on their part.
4. Unfriend or unfollow on social media.
In the age of social media, “unfriending” or “unfollowing” someone can be a powerful statement. Removing them from your online life limits their access to your updates and activities, making it easier to create emotional distance. It might also serve as a subtle signal that you’re prioritising other relationships and interests.
5. Turn down invitations and make excuses.
If you’re not ready for a complete break, politely declining invitations can create some breathing room. You don’t need to elaborate on why you’re not available; a simple “I have other plans” or “I’m not feeling up to it” will suffice. Be consistent with this approach, and they’ll eventually start looking for companionship elsewhere.
6. Prioritise self-care and focus on positive relationships.
One of the best ways to move on from a toxic relationship is by investing in yourself and nurturing healthy connections. Spend time doing activities you enjoy, reconnect with friends who make you feel good, and explore new hobbies or interests. As you fill your life with positivity, the absence of the toxic person will become less significant.
7. Block their number and online profiles.
Source: Unsplash If the person is particularly persistent or exhibits harassing behaviour, blocking them on your phone and social media platforms might be necessary. This creates a digital barrier, preventing them from reaching out and disrupting your peace. You have the right to protect your mental and emotional space.
8. Be prepared for a reaction.
Source: Unsplash When cutting someone off, be prepared for a range of reactions. Some people might accept your decision gracefully, while others might become angry, defensive, or manipulative. Stay firm in your resolve, and don’t let their behaviour guilt you into changing your mind. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and respect your decision.
9. Change your routines and habits.
If your paths often cross due to shared routines or habits, switching things up can help you avoid unwanted encounters. Try a new coffee shop, take a different route to work, or join a new gym. These subtle changes can significantly decrease the likelihood of bumping into them, making it easier to create distance without a direct confrontation.
10. Don’t engage in gossip or negativity.
If mutual friends or acquaintances try to involve you in conversations about the person you’re cutting off, politely decline to participate. Don’t feed into gossip or negativity, as it only keeps you emotionally entangled. A simple “I’d rather not talk about it” is a sufficient response. By steering clear of drama, you’ll be reinforcing your decision to move on.
11. Limit your interactions to necessary communication.
In some situations, completely cutting off communication might not be feasible, especially if you have shared responsibilities or commitments. In such cases, limit your interactions to essential matters only. Keep conversations brief, polite, and focused on the task at hand. Avoid personal topics or anything that might rekindle unwanted emotions.
12. Be prepared for setbacks.
Cutting someone off isn’t always a linear process. There might be times when you feel tempted to reconnect or question your decision. This is perfectly normal. Remember why you chose to create distance in the first place, and focus on the positive changes you’ve experienced since. Get support from friends, family, or a therapist if you need to talk through your feelings.
13. Embrace new opportunities and experiences.
Source: Unsplash As you distance yourself from the toxic person, you’ll create space in your life for new connections and experiences. Embrace this opportunity to explore your interests, meet new people, and expand your horizons. You might be surprised by the positive changes that occur when you open yourself up to new possibilities.
14. Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
Cutting someone off might bring up feelings of guilt or regret, especially if you played a part in the dynamic of the relationship. It’s never too late to learn and grow. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes, and focus on making healthier choices moving forward. By prioritising yourself, you’re taking a positive step towards a brighter future.
15. Make sure you have support from loved ones.
Source: Unsplash Cutting someone off can be emotionally challenging, so don’t hesitate to lean on loved ones for support. Talk to friends or family members who understand and respect your decision. Their encouragement and understanding can be invaluable during this transition. You might also consider asking for guidance from a therapist or counsellor who can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
16. Practice self-compassion and patience.
Source: Unsplash Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Cutting someone off is a significant decision, and it takes time to adjust to the changes in your life. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions, and don’t judge yourself for any setbacks or moments of weakness. You’re doing the best you can, and with time and patience, you’ll come out stronger on the other side.
17. Celebrate your newfound freedom.
Source: Unsplash As you successfully distance yourself from the toxic person, take a moment to celebrate your newfound freedom. Acknowledge the strength it took to make this decision, and appreciate the positive impact it has on your life. You’ve taken control of your well-being, and that’s something to be proud of.
18. Focus on your own happiness and well-being.
Source: Unsplash Your happiness and well-being are paramount. Cutting someone off is a powerful act of self-love and self-preservation. By prioritising your mental and emotional health, you’re creating space for positive relationships, experiences, and opportunities. Embrace this new chapter with an open heart, and allow yourself to flourish in a healthier, happier environment.
