Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding — that’s not news.
However, there are some behaviours many couples fall into that don’t just destroy that foundation, they actively work against it. No one’s perfect, and you have to give your partner a bit of leeway, but doing these things in relationships is never okay. If they’re happening, it’s important to deal with them immediately so that they either stop, or you walk away.
1. They constantly interrupt you when you’re speaking.
Repeatedly cutting someone off mid-sentence shows a lack of respect for their thoughts and opinions. It suggests that they think what they have to say is more important than what you’re talking about. It can make you feel unheard, ignored, and undervalued, which will inevitably make you resentful over time.
2. They dismiss your feelings as overreactions.
Invalidating someone’s emotions by telling them they’re being “too sensitive” or “dramatic” is deeply disrespectful, and it also shows a lack of empathy and understanding. Everyone has a right to their feelings, and dismissing them can make the other person feel unsupported and misunderstood. They should be able to empathise with you and hear you out, even if they disagree.
3. They make important decisions without consulting you.
In a relationship, major decisions should be made together. Whether it’s financial choices, plans that affect both of you, or major life changes, making these decisions unilaterally shows a lack of respect for your input and your role in the relationship. Why do they get to choose how your lives will unfold?
4. They criticise you in front of other people.
Public criticism or humiliation is never acceptable. It’s embarrassing and hurtful, and it can damage your self-esteem and your social relationships. Disagreements and constructive criticism should be handled privately and respectfully. If they have something to say, they can definitely wait until you get home.
5. They consistently break promises or commitments.
Repeatedly failing to follow through on promises or commitments shows a lack of respect for your time and feelings. It suggests that your partner doesn’t value your trust or the plans you make together. Over time, it inevitably destroys the foundation of trust in your relationship. If you can’t rely on them, why would you want to be with them?
6. They snoop through your personal belongings or your phone/tablet.
Invading your privacy by going through your phone, emails, or personal items without permission is a major breach of trust, and it also shows a lack of respect for your boundaries and personal space. Healthy relationships are built on trust, not surveillance. If there’s something they want to know or something they’re suspicious of, they can ask.
7. They use the silent treatment as punishment.
Refusing to communicate as a way to express anger or exert control is manipulative and disrespectful, and it can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and unvalued. Healthy relationships require open and honest communication, even during disagreements. They’re a grown adult — they can use their words.
8. They compare you to other people in negative ways.
Making negative comparisons between you and other people, whether it’s exes, friends, or celebrities, is hurtful and disrespectful. It can damage your self-esteem and create unnecessary insecurities. A respectful partner should appreciate you for who you are.
9. They use your insecurities against you.
Exploiting your vulnerabilities or using your fears and insecurities as ammunition during arguments is cruel and manipulative. A respectful partner should support you in overcoming your insecurities, not use them as tools to hurt or control you.
10. They refuse to apologise or take responsibility for their actions.
Consistently avoiding accountability for hurtful actions or mistakes shows a lack of respect for your feelings and the relationship, and it can lead to unresolved issues and resentment. A respectful partner should be able to acknowledge their faults and work towards making amends. No one is perfect, after all.
11. They ignore your boundaries.
Repeatedly ignoring or pushing against the boundaries you’ve set, whether they’re physical, emotional, or otherwise, is deeply disrespectful. It shows a lack of consideration for your comfort and your mental, emotional, and maybe even physical health. Respecting boundaries is vital for maintaining trust and feeling safe in a relationship.
12. They belittle your achievements or dreams.
Downplaying your accomplishments or mocking your aspirations is incredibly disrespectful, and it can chip away at your confidence and discourage you from pursuing your goals. A supportive partner should celebrate your successes and encourage your ambitions, not diminish them.
13. They use guilt as a manipulation tactic.
Trying to control your behaviour or decisions by making you feel guilty is manipulative and disrespectful. It’s clearly an attempt to exert power over you by exploiting your emotions, and that’s not okay. Healthy relationships are based on mutual support and understanding, not emotional manipulation.
14. They refuse to compromise.
Consistently insisting on having things their way without considering your needs or preferences shows a lack of respect for you as an equal partner. Relationships require give and take, and an unwillingness to compromise can lead to resentment and inequality.
15. They make jokes at your expense.
While playful teasing can be a part of many relationships, consistently making you the butt of jokes, especially about topics you’re sensitive about, is disrespectful. It can be hurtful and embarrassing, particularly if they continue after you’ve expressed how it makes you feel.
16. They disrespect your family or friends.
Showing contempt or disrespect towards the people who are important to you is indirectly disrespectful to you as well. It shows a lack of consideration for your feelings and the relationships you value. A respectful partner should make an effort to get along with your loved ones.
17. They gaslight you.
Gaslighting, or making you question your own judgement and memories, is a form of emotional abuse. It’s deeply disrespectful because it undermines your sense of reality and self-trust. A respectful partner should validate your experiences, not try to manipulate your understanding of them.
18. They disregard your time.
Consistently being late, cancelling plans at the last minute, or wasting your time shows a lack of respect for you and your schedule. It suggests that they don’t value your time as much as their own. In a respectful relationship, both partners’ time should be considered equally important.
