If you care at all about how you come off to people, there are certain things you should never say.
I’m not here to police your language, but there are definitely some phrases that come across as arrogant and self-centred, no matter the situation. Remove these from your vocabulary immediately if you use them — your conversations will go a lot more smoothly, and your reputation will be spared as well!
1. “I already knew that.”
Who cares if you’re already familiar with the information that’s being shared with you? Listen graciously instead of trying to make the other person feel two feet tall. You literally gain nothing by pointing out that you were somehow ahead of the knowledge curve.
2. “I’m just being honest.”
This is usually used to justify rudeness or insensitivity. Honesty is important, but it needs to be balanced with tact and empathy. Consider how you can express your thoughts more diplomatically, without the need for this kind of preface/epilogue.
3. “You wouldn’t understand.”
It’s incredibly dismissive to claim that someone wouldn’t understand something you haven’t bothered to explain, and it implies that the other person lacks the intelligence or experience to grasp what you’re saying. Instead, try explaining things in a way that’s accessible.
4. “I don’t have time for this.”
While you might be busy, this phrase can come across as if you’re too important to engage with people. You’re not the only person with things to do and places to be, mate! If you’re genuinely short on time, try expressing it more politely, like “I’m on a tight schedule at the moment.”
5. “That’s not my job.”
Sure, you don’t want to take on extra responsibilities that you’re not being compensated fairly for, but can make you seem inflexible and uncooperative. Instead, try offering a solution or directing the person to someone who can help, such as “I’m not the best person for this, but I can put you in touch with someone who can assist.”
6. “I’m overqualified for this.”
This can make you appear ungrateful or difficult to work with. If you feel your skills aren’t being fully appreciated or put to good use, try having a constructive conversation about your role and responsibilities. That, or start applying for jobs that are more on your level.
7. “I’m always right.”
Nobody is infallible, and saying this shuts down any possibility of learning or collaboration. Instead, be open to other people’s perspectives and acknowledge when you might be mistaken (because yes, you ARE going to be wrong sometimes).
8. “Do you know who I am?”
This reeks of self-importance and entitlement, and it makes you seem like some sort of posh character from a terrible 1980s TV drama. Regardless of your status or position, it’s better to treat everyone with equal respect and courtesy.
9. “I’m not like other people.”
While you might be trying to highlight your uniqueness, this can come across as if you think you’re better than everyone else. Everyone is unique in their own way, so there’s no need to state it explicitly. Chances are, you’re a lot more like other people than you want to admit.
10. “I could do that in my sleep.”
Way to downplay people’s efforts and achievements. Even if a task seems easy to you, it might be tough for other people — that doesn’t make them slow or stupid. Try acknowledging the work involved instead of dismissing it.
11. “You should be grateful that…”
When you say this, you’re implying that the other person owes you something and can create resentment. Gratitude is best when it’s given freely, not demanded. Plus, chances are, you haven’t done anything all that great to deserve unending gratitude.
12. “I’m just too smart for my own good.”
This comes across as a humblebrag and can be off-putting. If you’re struggling with overthinking, there are more humble ways to express this. Plus, you probably need to work through this with a therapist, not whinge about it to anyone with ears.
13. “That’s common sense.”
What’s obvious to you might not be to other people. Saying this can make people feel like they’re stupid, which they’re very likely not. Explain things patiently without being so judgemental, for goodness’ sake.
14. “I don’t need anyone’s help.”
While independence is generally a good trait, this can make you seem arrogant and unapproachable. Everyone needs help sometimes, and being open to support is a strength, not a weakness. If you keep it up, people might take you at your word and leave you in the lurch when you’re really struggling.
15. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”
This is deeply disrespectful to everyone around you. If you’re frustrated with other people’s performance, there are more constructive ways to address the issue. Besides, who died and made you the intelligence king or queen?
16. “I’ve forgotten more about this than you’ll ever know.”
This dismisses other people’s knowledge and experience. Instead of comparing, focus on sharing your expertise in a way that doesn’t belittle anyone. You don’t get bragging rights for being some kind of master of all trades.
17. “Let me explain this in simple terms.”
Unless someone has specifically asked for a simpler explanation, this can come across as condescending. Start with a clear explanation and offer to clarify if needed. It’s incredibly rude to talk down to people.
18. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
While it’s good to be confident in your opinions, this can make you seem closed-minded and dismissive of other people’s perspectives. It’s often more productive to consider different viewpoints, even if you ultimately disagree.
